I just lay on the sofa all morning and watched TV. And I don't care what anyone says about that. You know .. there's all this talk about being mindful and staying in the moment.. well I just mindfully watched 3 hours of reality TV.. fully present under my blanket on the couch.
Soon I am going to go pick up my 4-year-old from kindy.. it's raining and I have no idea what to do with him until 3pm when I have to get the two big boys from school. Maybe we'll go to the museum. Maybe we'll go to a mall. Maybe we'll go second hand shopping - now there's an idea! I'll drag him around some second-hand shops and then take him to a cafe. He can have a fluffy and I'll have a nice coffee.
Enjoying the calm before the storm I suppose. The storm that is about to hit my life when my book comes out and I go HEY EVERYONE LOOK AT ME I'M AN ALCOHOLIC! I USED TO DRINK SHITLOADS OF WINE AND FELT BLOODY MISERABLE ALL THE TIME AND NOW I DON'T TOUCH ALCOHOL AT ALL AND GUESS WHAT…IT'S AN AMAZING WAY TO LIVE!!!! I'M SO HAPPY TO BE SOBER!!!
I won't yell it of course.. but it will feel like a yell in a way.. yelling through the pages of the book and all the publicity that will come when it is released.
I'm cool with that. I have in my minds eye the shadowy figure of a women in a dressing gown.. miserable with a pounding head and sick guts and overwhelming feeling of guilt. It's me 2 1/2 years ago.. and it's the me back then that I want to talk to now. I just want to tell her.. it's ok.. you can get out of this… it will be tough at first but you can do it. And you won't be miserable. You'll just be sober and happy.
Been wondering exactly what it means to be 'living in recovery'. Is it something that is on-going? Or is it something we move through and beyond? What does 'living in recovery' mean to you?
For me living in recovery means I have recovered my true self from under the gallons of wine I'd sunk over 20-odd years. It means staying grateful for my sobriety and never forgetting where I've come from or underestimating the transformation I have experienced. Living in recovery means I can lie on the couch for three hours and watch crap TV and not worry about anything except 'what the hell good do the Kardashians do for anyone…??!'
That's a worry I can live with.
Love, Mrs D xxx
Exciting times for you!
ReplyDeleteAnd we all need to chill out and disconnect in order to recharge those energies from time to time
Great post.
ReplyDeleteOne thing - I used to chase, chase, chase all the time when drinking - chasing what? I don't know, I thought life was so much better for others and I thought I needed to push and run and rush to get it. Oh yeah but I wasted hours, days, weeks, months, years bloody drinking.
Now - I accept I have a great life. I can do what you said - although for me it is 3 hours of IPL cricket or motorsport etc. and it is all ok - living for me is ok these days.
Hi Mrs. D. You are a shining example of going down the gratitude route rather than the deprivation route and that is the single, most important mindset change that is making a difference for me. I can hardly wait for your book to come out. I have a little dream about writing a book about my recovery too but first I have to recover ;-). The New Zealand singer Lorde is coming to my area of Canada this summer and I wondered if you've heard her sing. I am going to try to download some of her music as the reviews are great. Love reading your posts. You are a huge reason for me reaching day 19. xoxo Deb (Grannygetssober.blogspot.ca)
ReplyDeleteI am so excited for you Mrs D~ Enjoy the quiet before the storm. What you are doing will hope so many and you will probably never know the full extent. You have helped me and so many others. I look forward to your new book. I think your view of recovery is dead on! I wish I could watch the Kardashians with you and have a awesome girls night! Enjoy
ReplyDeleteCannot wait for your book and your continued success.
ReplyDeleteShhhhh....listen...what is that? IT'S THE SOUND OF MRS. D'S BOOK COMING OUT AND EVERYONE ON THE PLANET BUYING IT!!!!
ReplyDeleteOkay...maybe that was just in my head. In any event, enjoy your quiet time.
Love and hugs,
Sherry
Nothing wrong with vegging out. I do the same with surfing online, watching music videos on YouTube and such. Gotta chill and live, yeah?
ReplyDeleteSo yes, this book! When does it come out? I know you don't answer comments, but never mind - I will just wait for the fireworks coming from the other side of the world and know the time is nigh.
Blessings,
Paul
Well I never used to reply to comments because they always came up in a Big Red Box! But I just tried this one and it didn't…. hhhhmmm…. Anyway Paul.. to answer your question the book is released on July 2 xxx
DeleteYAY!!! To both your answer and your book :)
DeleteHugs,
Paul
It is available for pre-order on Amazon, but gives a release date of Oct 1. Bummer.
DeleteMy God I love your posts soooooo much! Good luck with the launch of your book. You are one awesome lady. Thank you for your positive inspiration!! <3
ReplyDelete