I have to be honest though… it's taken a while. I kept trying to 'think' myself positive but I was just really stuck in this grumpy low place. It wasn't fun, but at the same time it was interesting.
Me being me tried desperately to come up with a reason WHY I was feeling like this.. managed quite a few reasons…..
* 2-week school holiday with me full time caring for our three boys who are gorgeous but full on (didn't organise enough playdates/holiday programme stuff. Note to self: Do this next time)
* For the first time trying to juggle full time care with the new website job = stressful (kept getting mad when I would try grab a quick moment to post up a new drink or spend some time interacting in the Members Feed or reply to an email etc and the boys would be coming at me with complaints or requests or whatever it is little boys need every second of every minute of every day…! Not their fault…but gggrrrrr)
* Coffee? (why do I drink it I'm now asking myself? Why? If it's for the lift then that's dumb and I should wean myself off that so I don't 'need' a coffee lift. If it's for the ritual - which I think it mostly is I love my 2x a day hot coffee fix feels like a special treat for me - then why not replace it with something else? So I've switched to decaf).
* Food/weight? (Still over 2kg heavier than before our hell month of September with Mr D away for work the whole time. Not happy with that .. but have completely cut out bad sugar and most wheat for the past 2+ weeks and have been on a crazy food mission loads of green juices, healthy muesli etc. No movement in the scales yet though. Might have to look at quantities next, sigh….)
* Upcoming events (Flying down to Central Otago next week to speak at 4 public events, me the invited speaker telling my story to a crowd 4 times in 4 different places .. power point presentation and all! I'm really looking forward to it, not that nervous but obviously it's going to take a lot of energy. That being said it is also going to take me out of my normal routine for 4 days and that's a good thing…!)
Anyway.. nothing insurmountable.. just the normal life of a busy person.. we all juggle 5 things at once, right? And we all cope in different ways. Sometimes funks just happen. Shit happens.
Everyone's shit is relative. But the bottom line is we all have busy brains and we all have loads of different personalities around us and we all have jobs or responsibilities or duties or requirements and we all have bodies that need looking after.
It's life!!!!! This is life. And this is my life. Here it is I am writing my life out in a blog because over 3 years ago I gave up booze and started writing about it. My life still goes on.. but at least despite any other concerns and my trial-and-error methods of dealing with things… I NEVER TOUCH ANY ALCOHOL EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HIP HIP HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bye for now…
Love, Mrs D xxxx
You have got it in one Mrs D. Shit happens and everyone's shit is relative. The toll of your Sept stint will take a while to work itself through (it's not like you took a big break post that to recover and regroup). I have learnt from this year that piling 5 big life events into the same number of months is not to be recommended. And I 'blame' this for my grumpy lows. Too much big shit in one hit has to take its toll (while on the outside being strong, functional, capable....blah...) Be kind to yourself on the weight thing, the body needs to adjust to the new you and then decide yes it will be kind and respond with some loss.However, in our fast world, we rightfully demand instant response to positive measures. Fair enough. I could have written your post myself, we both struggle with the being down thing. I think it is a reflection of the juggle. Deep breaths and remembering all the good stuff helps flip my frame of mind, even if momentarily. Best wishes for the South Island trip, I hope it goes so very well that you decide to do a Central North Island one too (hint, hint)!xxx
ReplyDelete3 kids with activities, 2 jobs, and deciding to train for a half marathon= insanity! I so feel you. I have been a bit grumpy and out of sorts, and I know it is just because it has been so hectic lately. No worries, we are normal (I think) And eventually things will settle down a bit and you will feel less overwhelmed. (that's what I tell myself).
ReplyDeleteYesterday I had two coffees, two red bulls, a Carl's Jnr combo with two fizzy drinks and half a Sarah Lee chocolate Bavarian.... today I feel SHITTY! coincidence I think not. I'm gonna try and go decaff too.... It's not easy though.....
ReplyDeletePhew!!!!! You must feel better getting that load off your mind Mrs D. A few days away and I'm sure you will come home feeling better. Remember Tara and the meditation. (I find myself listening to her at 2am and always have a good sleep after. I purchased a treadmill- best thing out. You never regret after having a session even if its only 15 minutes. Oh listen to me soooooo positive. And other days not so. Life is good. Smug sober me:) Thanks Lotta.S.D.
ReplyDeleteHey Mrs.D,
ReplyDeleteSmall boys best distracted with Minecraft when things just need to be done!
Cheers,
Penny