tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-921119446130836418.post1858959561141056258..comments2024-03-15T02:13:34.645+13:00Comments on Mrs D Is Going Without: Terrible guilt and feeling dysfunctional...Mrs Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13110933370498728198noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-921119446130836418.post-47156590397423661662012-02-19T15:40:08.991+13:002012-02-19T15:40:08.991+13:00I think there is a long spectrum of alcoholics. So...I think there is a long spectrum of alcoholics. Some are just more narcissistic and/or dishonest with themselves and others. We are a set of people with so many similarities but so many subsets. It makes it very difficult to diagnose ourselves. And easy to rationalize our continuing to drink!<br /><br />So grateful to be sober today.<br /><br />XOOctober O Ninehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10973881662297182818noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-921119446130836418.post-91975722948061399202012-02-19T07:39:48.941+13:002012-02-19T07:39:48.941+13:00That's part of my story, Mrs D, but come to fi...That's part of my story, Mrs D, but come to find out, I wasn't fooling anyone. We convince ourselves there isn't a problem, and when someone attempts to intervene (come between me and my liquor, that is) or points out I may have a problem, then all of a sudden it's their fault! Even as I sat in jail (more than once), I would plot and scheme at how I was going to get back at the Police Dept. "how dare they rob me of my freedom to drink and drive"!!<br /><br />I was one fucked up piece of shit, I tell you! I'm lucky to be alive- LY Mrs D- CoopCooperhttp://www.sobrietyrules.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-921119446130836418.post-48600869849442239442012-02-19T04:59:08.984+13:002012-02-19T04:59:08.984+13:00Today, I have admitted that I have a problem. My j...Today, I have admitted that I have a problem. My journey starts here.<br /><br />I will come back to your blog, as it offers me hope.<br /><br />Thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-921119446130836418.post-23775856598609261532012-02-18T17:45:39.510+13:002012-02-18T17:45:39.510+13:00You know, the husband may be in denial or blunted ...You know, the husband may be in denial or blunted but he may also be someone like me who grew up in an alcoholic family. <br /><br />My earliest memories are of my mother with a glass in her hand. Tiptoeing around the house in the morning because my mother was not well and needed to sleep. My mother at parties. My mother laughing too loud or crying, stumbling or falling. My mother making a fuss of us for no reason or ignoring us.<br /><br />Alcoholic drinking was normality at home. Drinking was what made adults happy. Drinking caused fights. Drinking was for nights and weekends and holidays. To this day when I am around heavy drinkers, it feels familiar. I had no idea until I left home that not all children grow up with the roller coaster of parental drinking.<br /><br />What children internalise from an alcoholic parent is that habitual and chaotic drinking is a way of life. Unlearning that may take decades, and like your friend's husband, I didn't really understand what was wrong with it until my own drinking had gone far beyond acceptable. Even then, I kept thinking most people drank this way.Mary LAhttp://louisey.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-921119446130836418.post-8309239107411140582012-02-18T14:40:56.634+13:002012-02-18T14:40:56.634+13:00Oh, I soooooo remember the guilt. It weighted as ...Oh, I soooooo remember the guilt. It weighted as heavily as my daily hangovers. I was telling a friend recently (one who is desperately trying to get sober) that for me, the best part of sobriety is being FREE of the guilt! Even on my worst days, oh I am so deeply grateful to be free of that kind of inner conflict and turmoil. <br /><br />Hope you are having a great sober night!Luluhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02940660093997902932noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-921119446130836418.post-3044362871568327522012-02-18T03:15:01.718+13:002012-02-18T03:15:01.718+13:00I think with every step you progress into alcoholi...I think with every step you progress into alcoholism, the disease raises the acceptance level of what you view as normal behavior. "So what I pissed my pants, I've seen so-and-so do much worse." Alcohol tries very hard to convince you this is normal, this is not aberrant behavior and we keep finding someone that is worse off than us. For me, it was getting harder and harder to find that person that was worse off and I realized I had become the measuring stick that others compared themselves to. "At least I'm not as bad as old Kary May"<br /><br />I, too, find myself trying to convince my friends that I'm not judging them. I had my two closest friends over yesterday for a girls chat. One didn't drink at all since she had blood tests this morning and the other kept apologizing for every glass of wine she had. "You must think we're all such lushes now," she said. I said, "No, as a matter of fact, I can't recall ever seeing you really drunk." She said, "You must have been too drunk to remember." lolKary Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12674442468925628974noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-921119446130836418.post-48826178626624978082012-02-18T01:10:00.088+13:002012-02-18T01:10:00.088+13:00Candy's friend might find Al-Anon Family Group...Candy's friend might find Al-Anon Family Groups helpful. There are meetings in NZ. There are also lots of Al-Anon recovery blogs. See my blog sidebar for examples.<br /><br />Meanwhile here's an Al-Anon saying that might help. "She didn't cause it, she can't control it and she can't cure it." <br /><br />As for the husband, he is in denial and lying to himself and his wife all at the same time. An alcoholic at that stage in the game is severely mentally ill. So nothing they do or say is going to make any sense to the onlooker.DaisyAnonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12680034482022415405noreply@blogger.com