Saturday, March 31, 2012

A concert and a party..

I'm interested to hear about people that did sobriety alone and then something changed and they started going to AA.  Lets just put it this way.  I am open to ANYTHING.  Anything at all that will help me to live the rest of my life sober.  Right now that doesn't include joining any groups.  But that's not to say that it won't in the future.  As I said to Mr D yesterday evening, I've got a long long road ahead of me.

What am I now? Seven months sober?  That's nothing.  NOTHING! When I'm 50 I'll have ten years sobriety behind me, I'll still be relatively young.  When I'm 65 it'll be 25 years since I last drank. That will make me sober for longer than I drank.  Jeez!  It's a long long road and I have no idea what will be thrown up for me along the way.  So let me just say I am open to whatever it takes and if I find that shit is coming up that I wasn't expecting or that is tempting me to turn back to a life filled with wine wine wine, then I'll do whatever I need to do to not do that.

Talking to Mr D about this yesterday I said to him 'Seriously, why did I drink all that wine?' and he said 'Because you could.  And now you don't.'  Ahh .. if only it were that simple.  Maybe it is!  Maybe it is that simple. But maybe it isn't.  I don't know what to say except watch this space.  Obviously I'll be watching this space because this space is me!  (Ok this post is getting a bit twisted up inside and around of itself).

Off to a party tonight, my step-brothers engagement party, and am feeling a bit glum that I'll be dry.  But I'm sure it will be totally fun when I'm there.  And as it's all catered the food will be amazing.  Because I can drive we'll save on taxis which is a positive.  Also I'm planning on working tomorrow afternoon so it'll be good not to have a hangover.  Another positive.  Of course there are a million positives to living sober.  I'm just acknowledging the slightly glum feeling I have prior to this party.

On a brighter note on Thursday night Mr D and I went to see one of our favorite bands - Elbow - play at a venue in town and MY GOD IT WAS AMAZING. We love Elbow.

The gig was at the same place where I went to see another favorite artist of mine - Jarvis Cocker - and got so hammered that I fell over with no provocation.  Just fell over on the floor.  Pissed as a chook.

Thursday night I was sober, I was so so happy, I was singing along, I was full of happy endorphins and even got tears in my eyes on a couple of occasions.  Oh happy sober me.

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. I wish I could put into words what happened...don't know if I can explain it but I'll try.

    I never had any issues staying dry after that first year and if you read the early posts in my blog you'll see that I hated the idea of AA due to some old experiences. I thought they were a bunch of hypocrites. I'm sure some of them are but that can be said for a great deal of the general population.

    Basically I wasn't getting "well". I had a horrid childhood where I was made the adult and got no nurturing and it created this hole in my soul I never even knew was there. But once I discovered it (by reading recovery books and self help books) I couldn't NOT see it anymore. It was there and it had to be fixed.

    So I figured I'd give AA a try. I can't say I'm totally bought into the whole thing yet but I can say that the process of working the steps is really helping. However, if it stops working then I'll try something else because, like you, I am committed to making this work. I am one stubborn bitch.

  2. My iPad is acting up so I'll finish my comment with a new one.

    Anyway! I think 7 months is AMAZING! I loved my wine and I missed it terribly that first year. Don't discount your progress. And stop thinking about where you'll be when you're 50 or' only have to worry about where you'll be today. You'll stay sober at least until tomorrow. :-)

  3. Sounds like you had a great time! Yay Sober You!


  4. Just keep it in the day Mrs D. One day at a time. Today is all we have. The person with the most sobriety is the person who got up earliest. :)

  5. I am reading The Power of Habit where the success of AA is dissected quite clearly as boiling down to: needing a group of people who believe change is possible. I also had a negative experience with AA. (Someone called me a dry drunk after a year of sobriety simply because I hadn't been attending AA.) 18 months of sobriety later, staring possible breast cancer in the face, I am still not going to AA. I am blogging, attending Buddhist meditation groups, seeing my stellar therapist, and drinking the best damn non-alcoholic yummy drinks I can invent. Read my page on Alcohol and Breast Cancer for added motivation.

  6. I went to AA a handful of times that first year, but didn't really start going and get a sponsor etc...until right at one year sober. When I started going it was because I thought that it was a good way to remind myself what was in store for me if I went back to drinking. I quit relatively early in my drinking and listening to all the awful things I hadn't done (yet) kept my desire to remain sober green.

    But, honestly after awhile and after starting to work on the steps I've continued because...I mostly like it. And it's making me do some self-examination and I'm finding that uncomfortable enough that I'm pretty sure it's a good thing for me to do. I hope with all this to address the issues that led me to drink abusively, I guess.

    Oh, and WritingMWSober...I hate that stupid Dry Drunk crap too. Very annoying. However, although I do not think AA is everyone, and I certainly respect your decision to not go---if that's really your reason you've given up on AA, that's a pretty silly. Because one person in an organization with hundreds of thousands of members said something irritating? So, back when you were drinking, if one bartender had been annoying would you have stopped ever going to bars? I bet not... ha!

    1. Lulu, I am not throwing out AA - or judging the entire organization - based on one asshole. It saved my brother's life, my best friend's life and my father in law's life!!! It's just not my path at this time. It may be in the future though! Who knows!

  7. So the book does say that a group of people who believe change is possible is necessary, however, I consider our blogging circle that group. You, Guinevere, Ellie. Heather, Bwendo, Melissa, Java Jill, Dawn...I'm sure I am leaving a woile bunch of folks out but we all support and believe in each other's ability to change. The book explained to me how that was possible without AA and decreased my worry that I am not in AA. A fine organization, It has saved the lives of many people I love. Just not for me at this time.

  8. I looked up the band, Elbow, and really liked their song, "Grounds for Divorce" and posted it to my teen son's page (he has a band) I almost wrote in a comment to him, "a friend recommended this band"

    I have read your blog from the beginning through March in the past few days and you feel like a friend. Thank you for writing this blog.