Monday, January 5, 2015


We've had some big spam attacks on Living Sober which has meant the site had to come down for a few hours a few times so the hosts/technical dudes could work on putting in more spam filters. They're awesome at doing a super-fast urgent fix, knowing that there are many of us who rely on that site for instant, lovely support with not drinking (1450+ members now!!!).. but it does lead to me having a bit of tech-angst.

Tech-angst = that peculiar frustrating and annoying stress that burns your brain and raises your shoulders and makes your teeth grind. Like when your broadband suddenly stops working and you have no real knowledge or understanding why, or when your phone suddenly isn't receiving emails or you can't login to your Twitter account or some such - it's a very modern day phenomenon this tech-angst.. not something you have any control over or understanding of, and it sucks! It feels urgent! But you can't do anything!

Quite a good exercise for me in breathing deeply and letting my shoulders drop and thinking calming thoughts like 'this is life' and 'these things can't be avoided' and 'what's really wrong here' and 'relax Mrs D'...

(Ha ha, this is really funny.. as I am typing this post Mr D is sitting at the kitchen table sighing deeply because his work server has cut him out because he didn't change his password in time or something, he's trying to figure it out so he can check his emails and can't! Tech-angst attack!! Breath Mr D… breath….oops he just walked away from the table saying 'bugger this'.)

I'm still processing some of the emotional shit that went down over Christmas, taking some days to think things through and find a way to sit happily with unsatisfactory situations (my beloved step-dad being gone the main one)… so I wouldn't say I'm in my most 'happy-joyous-free' mental state right now.

It's ok. I know that this is life, and I appreciate these gritty times because they make the carefree times so much more sweet.

I read a newspaper column this past weekend by a local writer/radio host - she's awesome and keeps things very real and honest - in which she wrote about not wanting to go back to her 20's because in that phase of her life she "hadn't yet learned that to enjoy the ups, you must know the pain of downs." I think this is very true and something us sober people need to learn. Appreciate all of life's experiences - good and bad - and don't think of them in isolation because they all blend into the whole, which is our entire experience of life.

If I hadn't been a hopeless boozer I wouldn't appreciate being a sober person so much now.

If I never experienced tech-angst I wouldn't appreciate smoothly-running websites and professional technical support!

Nice positive note to end on...

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. Hi Mrs D. Tech angst is a big drag, but it sounds like you're coping well with it. (And you guys got the site back up and running pretty darn fast. Nice work!) Wishing you all the best living with the grit as well as the joy. xo

  2. Yeah, life isn't always joyous and wonderful. In fact most of the time it's not. We have to learn to take life on it's own terms because we have very little control over things that happen. I think we have to learn to let things go and become very accepting. We all like to have control over situations and I think that's the cause of a lot of arguments and frustration. We have to learn to bend and be flexible because if we're too rigid and determined to control we'll just snap.

  3. Aah, tech demons - that explains what was off at LS. Thanks for explaining. I am still plagued by tech demons just trying to master blogging. But I am very happy to be plagued today by tech demons not by wine demons.



  4. I never heard of tech-angst Mrs D. ..but I hear your frustration when the computer doesn't cooperate.... I do sometimes gotta be grateful for being a boozer too....because when we experience that sober high ....we really appreciate life and what sobriety can bring us.....I know I'm just beginning again, but I feel so much healthier (in my body, more than in my mind)
    Good one SR..... I second that last comment!! :)
    I like your comment too Mr. Tea...needed to hear that to remind myself to let go and accept that sometimes we just can't control things...
    Hi ThirstyStill....didn't want to leave you out...
    :) jen

    1. Nice one sober mommy :-) here's to sober highs and may you and everyone else here have many!!

  5. Dear Mrs. D,
    I am learning, slowly, to accept life as it is.
    I just can't fight it anymore!
    I am exhausted trying to change it, or control it.
    It just is.

  6. Sometimes we just need to let things happen, accept that they happened and slowly learn to deal with whatever happened. We need to give ourselves time. As much time as we need. I do not believe that time heals all wounds. But I do believe that with time it gets a little easier for us to deal with those wounds. We need to be kind to ourselves.

  7. I am still having problems with Sober Living working correctly? Idk if anyone else is.