Saturday, May 23, 2015

No temporary relief ever again...

Everything's fine. I'm doing ok on my goals list from my last post. Gym semi-regularly, have been making green juices, reading books again (an amazing memoir called 'Fish Pie is Worse Than Cancer'  about how the author coped when her husband got cancer), relationships all smoothly running in the family, my diet is pretty good (resisting the sugar witch).. yadda yadda.

I'm still settling into my new sober skin and learning new coping mechanisms daily. Have been working on a new series of posts for Living Sober called 'Sober Story' which recounts the recovery journeys of people in long-term recovery. Some are around the same stage as me (3-4 years sober) but some are YEARS ahead (like Shane here who has 35 years under his belt). Gosh it's fascinating to hear from those long-timers. Makes me aware that my 3 1/2 sober years, while long and fabulous in one regard, is a drop in the ocean in terms of the big picture of my life.

I can't wait until I tip my life's balance into more years spent not drinking than drinking. When will that be? Let me figure it out.

0-15 didn't drink alcohol (15 years)
15 - 38 drank alcohol (23 years)

So I need 8 years of sobriety before I start tipping my life's balance into the sober side of things.

My last drink was September 5, 2011. That means from 6 September 2019 I will tipping my life's balance into the no-alcohol side of things. Oh happy day!

You know.. booze works. It takes us away momentarily from the stresses and strifes and woes and troubles and worries of everyday life. It works! But the problem is it's temporary. So actually it doesn't work in the slightest and all the stresses, strifes, woes, troubles and worries remain. In fact they get worse because drinking makes us tired and increases stress and anxiety and ruins relationships and stuff.

But yet that temporary relief is there. And it's appealing. Because who doesn't want to be temporarily taken away from all that stuff sometimes?

The trick for us people in getting sober is looking past that temporary relief to the bigger picture. And deciding to forgo that temporary relief forever more. It's hard work and unfair (in some respects).. but actually so deeply rewarding and smart.

And I'm very happy with my choice. Onwards towards 2019.......

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. Hey Lotta I'm reading Girl on the Train. Great book who's lead protagonist is an alcoholic and her drinking blackouts are key to the story. Brilliant but glad to be not doing that anymore! :) xx

  2. Dear Mrs.D,
    I love the bigger picture.
    It's so easy to think of just right now.
    Great thing for me to keep in mind.
    Wendy on Day 262

  3. Ms.Penelope.DroppedMay 25, 2015 at 2:52 PM

    Hey Mrs.D,

    So true-we can run but we can't hide from ourselves. I'm of an age where running makes my wibbly bits wobble, so best to stand still and open up to it all.

  4. I'm still At the very start - 3 weeks in. Cannot imagine even a year. Well done mrs d. You you inspiration! X

  5. The only thing that keeps me going on most of the days is the bigger picture. But even that sometimes it is very very hard.

  6. The Devil's AdvocaatMay 26, 2015 at 9:47 AM

    I don't think you can really count the first 15 years of your life as alcohol free as drinking isn't an option then. I think you have to begin counting from when it becomes a choice. That being said I think it's irrelevant to judge yourself on how long you've been sober compared to drunk. You cannot plan for a magical day when everything falls into place and you feel happy and wise. You may have already had the happiest and most profound day of your life or that day may be today - don't wait for it or expect it.

  7. Just found you through a friend and I can't wait to go through your archives! I have just started my journey xxx

  8. You've saved my life Mrs D. Thank you so much for sharing xx

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  10. I need to start because I am very sad any help? Just want to be happier