Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Trial and error...

There is nothing quite like getting free from addiction. It takes guts and sweat and tears. But boy is it worth it.

I love that there are so many people dotted around the world who have fought to get themselves free.

I love knowing that there are others who fully understand what it's like to go deep down into your core to heal yourself emotionally when you take an addictive substance away.

It's so bloody hard. Facing up to realities you've tried to shield yourself from. And always the addictive substance is there, dancing around the periphery, enticing you back into it's warm (lying) arms.

I just read an interview with James Taylor (here), legendary musician who was a heroin addict and got sober in his 30's. In it he says; "One thing that addiction does is, it freezes you. You don't develop, you don't learn the skills by trial and error of having experiences and learning from them, and finding out what it is you want, and how to go about getting it, by relating with other people. You short-circuit all of that stuff and just go for the button that says 'this feels good' over and over again."

Trial and error. Having experiences and learning from them. That's what my life is about right now. I make mistakes - sometimes they're big ones - but I am learning from them. I am grinding my way through experiences, some of which are really, really hard, and I am learning. Trial and error. That's what my life is about.

But the longer I live sober, the more I learn and the more resilient I get.

Being a human being is hard bloody work, shit happens and pain hurts and it's just impossible to glide through life not having any shit to deal with.

No wonder there are so many humans who seek relief from the brutality of life, the complexity of relationships and the incessant chatter of the brain.

I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, and I'll say it again today.

Anyone who gets themselves free from addiction is brave and amazing.

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. Beautiful post!! I think this might be my new favorite!
    Thanks Mrs. D!!

  2. Resilient...I like that word. Brave and amazing are pretty good too.



  3. Many of the people in recovery I encounter state that their greatest accomplishment is getting clean and staying sober. I've also heard it in interviews with famous people and celebrities in all areas of endeavor. What a tribute to recovery, and what it can do for you.

  4. So true!!
    Being human, living life is hard work!
    I am learning how to do this with grace.

  5. So true, I didn't realize how much damage I was doing in my development by drinking. Once I finally crawled out of the fog I found out that I had NO coping skill. There had been NO growth in my life. I had instead reverted to be childlike emotionally. So I had to start again from scratch. Learn how to be a functioning and happy adult. Learn what was important in life. Such a hard journey...but amazingly and overwhelmingly by far the best thing I have ever done. *peace*

  6. On Thursday 2nd July 2015 I woke up with a painful abdomen and knew it was time to stop drinking. I have been going to that happy place at 6pm every night for 30 or so years. I told myself it was OK because I only drank between 6pm and when I had dinner. Dinner was sometimes very late and I managed to empty a bottle of sparkling most nights before then. After a few days the physical pain disappeared and I felt at peace and relieved. Then I came across a photo of me with two friends off on a horse trail adventure when I was 18. We all looked so happy and excited. None of us drank or smoked. I was suddenly overcome with an immense feeling of sadness which knocked me sideways. Then I found your book. Thank you for writing it. It is going to make my journey easier.

  7. You said that you love the fact that there are many people in the world who fought to make themselves free. Well, I like it that you are one of them, and I couldn’t agree more with your post. Everything you said is true: the hard work, as well as the trial and error to find out what is right or wrong. I see so much positivity in you. Thank you for sharing, and have a great day!

    Natalie Lamb @ Good Life Therapy