Saturday, April 23, 2016

And now for a happy rant!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM SO GODDAM HAPPY I AM SOBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just cannot believe my good fortune that I managed to get myself rid of that shitty, lying, brain-numbing, stupid, life-avoiding liquid.

I don't blame myself for spending so many years drinking it. It was presented to me by my society as an ordinary, everyday drink that is to be used at every social occasion, used to help with stress and sadness, and used to make evenings more fun and enjoyable. It was simply presented to me as an ordinary part of life.

And so for 20+ years I adopted an enthusiastic-alcohol-drinking attitude that fitted me like a glove.

Until it didn't.

It all turned to shit, alcohol turned on me and I hit a really low place and went through an incredibly intense few years of getting that shit out of my life and re-adjusting to a life that wasn't awash with booze.

OMG I can't even summarise how much work went into that transition but it's all here in this blog which I have been writing since the start. Suffice to say a HUGE amount of 'work' (brain-retraining, practising a raw life, learning new ways of being) has occurred and now here I am a sober woman living without any alcohol at all.

And holy smokes.. boy am I DELIGHTED that I am here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's incredible!!!!!!!! Alcohol is so not necessary!!! Sure, it appeals because it's a drug that re-creates happy endorphins and feel-good emotions ... and it blurs and numbs which is incredibly attractive because being a human is HARD FUCKING WORK! (that annoying over-working, over-dominant frontal lobe which is hard to get away from)... I get it, I get why so may humans drink it.

But being here now in this place that I am in, living a life which is free of any mind-bending drugs, living day after day after day being clear in my head, enjoying the slow accumulation of lovely benefits that comes from this... its all just so incredibly rewarding and lovely.

That's the thing. It's not what I'm missing, it's what I've gained.

I have gained a sense of calm that is out of this world. Pride and self-belief that is priceless. A level of connectedness with myself, my family and all the humans around me which is deeply satisfying. And most of all a life which is incredibly interesting, stimulating and fascinating. Anyone with half a brain would relish the pure interest that comes from the recovery process.

It's just great. I love, love, love, love living sober. Where I am now is worth all of the hard work, all of the uncomfortable re-adjustments, all of the grit and tears (those that have already occurred and those that are still to come).

It's all just so worth it.

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. Thanks for the inspiration! I am at 23 days sober myself and have an inkling of what you mean. ; )

    Finding A Sober Miracle

  2. Your book inspired me to blog about my sobriety as well. Woo hoo!

  3. You are giving us newbies tons of inspiration here! Thank you!

  4. Way to go Mrs D! You are awesome! A x

  5. I am in day 76 and am in a restaurant with my family. My husband ordered a glass of wine and I really really wanted it! Instead, I took out my phone and went to the blog world for some inspiration and your blog popped up as new! Just what I needed! I feel so much better! I can't wait to feel like you do!!! And you are right...this is such hard work!!!!!!!!!

  6. Ah yes please, I'll have what you're having.

  7. 663 days for me (and not having to count)I know how you feel Mrs D. Hang in there all the newbies.....yes it is so worth it:) Sunday fuzzy head.. rearing to worth it. So much to gain.

  8. Love what you's not what I'm missing...its what I've gained! Self respect, awareness, and peace! God Bless us all!!! Thank you. 90 days today. :)

  9. Admin, if not okay please remove!

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  10. I started reading your book this morning. Loving it!

  11. Wonderful post Mrs. D - thank you so much! I am only about 4 months in, but the benefits have been mind blowing. I am just coming off an AMAZING weekend where I felt great, got a ton of work done around the house, cooked some great meals, etc. I NEVER had weekends like that when I was drinking! I appreciate all the good things in my life SO much more now, and the bad things don't seem nearly as overwhelming. I still get that little voice "never again?" sometimes but it's becoming less of a nag with time. Your blog and book have been a HUGE help to me - many thanks!!!

  12. I spoke with a friend the other day who commended me on stopping the cycle of drinking in my family. Your comments about society presenting it as normal and ordinary reminded me of this. I always thought it was normal to put down a 6 pack of beer or a bottle of wine a night because that was all I had ever known. I am 13 months sober and have had to train my brain to the fact that is not normal. Boy, has my life improved in so many ways. I do attend AA meetings but I know they are not for everyone. As long as you read, talk and engage with people who want what you want that will help you stay sober and happy.

  13. Awesome post Mrs D. I'm almost 6 months sober and feel exactly the same. Love your honesty!

  14. I was sober for five years, before I got the stupid idea, that I was going to be able to drink under control... that was about a year ago. I am eight days sober right now, but I did go through a lot of crap before getting here. I know exactly what you mean.

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  16. Mrs. D,

    This is an awesome post, and what sobriety is supposed to be all about! Feeling happy and excited about your new way of life, and realizing the darkness you came from. Also, it is very courageous and inspirational of you to document your story. Never apologize for sharing your experience, strength and hope, it is definitely not a rant! I look forward to reading more of your blog.

  17. Mrs D
    I need your help. Please keep posting. I virtually never touched alcohol in my life until 18 months ago and now I can't stop; it's a long story. You are a true inspiration!! AND I LOVE THAT YOU USE EXCLAMATION MARKS!!
    Not sure where to turn next

  18. I successfully did 115days but I am back to it. I sort this blog for motivation. I officially retake the challenge again!your encouragement s are really appreciated!