Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Love will conquer all...

Oh my goodness it has been a loooooooong time since I wrote on this my trusty old blog. Apologies trusty old blog and anyone who might still be visiting here despite my absence. Or, if you subscribe to my posts by email, wondering where the hell I've been ... sorry to you too.

I have been around and I am still very visible on my social media accounts and of course Living Sober where I communicate in the Members Feed many times a week and also publish lots of posts.

Things aren't great here right now with a beloved family member being terminally ill and a terrible, awful, horrific terror attack in my home town of Christchurch. It feels like just such a hard time right now and I am very unsettled by all the emotions and sadness and pain.

BUT none of it is enough to send me back to stupid alcohol of course! No way am I ever touching that shit again! Rather I am stepping up my self-care, listening to lovely Tara Brach talks, doing yoga, walking the dog, crying, buying flowers and facemasks and magazines and treaty herbal teas, looking for the beauty in nature. It all sounds so wah, wah, woofty, namby, pamby but if there's one thing I've learned in my 7 1/2 years of being sober... it is that it is PRECISELY these sorts of gentle nurturing actions that soothe my way through emotional pain.

And of course I feel very connected with my feelings which is actually super lovely. It makes perfect sense that I'd be sad and grieving now and anxious and unsettled. PERFECT sense. My goodness. Major, major tough things are happening in my world. Of course I'm going to be uncomfortable and emotional! But I'm feeling the feelings fully, letting them out and pass through me. I know that in six months.. one year.. I'll look back at this tough time and won't feel confused about or disconnected from it.

I know now from 7 1/2 years of sobriety that tough emotions are there for a reason and simply feeling them fully and not seeking to numb or avoid them makes them easier to manage. And especially in the long run when more beats of life have occurred.. they're easier to understand.

But for now, despite all my self-care techniques I'm still incredibly watery with tears popping up at unexpected times. And I am aware that I've got a knot of angsty pressure on my chest. But I'm breathing through it.. remembering to practice mindfulness and ground myself in my body and not get lost in my (unhappy) thoughts.

And the main one of all - hugging the ones I love very, very tight. Because love will conquer all.

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. Hugs and love from Minnesota.

  2. Hi, I just read your post from your first year anniversary and the present your husband gave you. It made me cry. Im 7 and a half months alcohol free. This blog is great and your posts very helpful and poignant. Im in my 2nd year of a degree in Bristol UK and loving it but am feeling a tenuous link to my commitment.. Im a single 52 year old dad of 2 lovely teenage boys and not sure why Im writing this..... thanks Paul xx

  3. Good to hear you are taking care of yourself in this very difficult time.

  4. Hi Mrs. D! Always good to hear from you. I agree. Love will get there, eventually. Our job is to wait it out when we need to.

  5. I keep trying to give up.... I want to. I REALLY want to. But then I stick a measure (or 2) of alcohol into the glass of alcohol free wine! How do you actually get started?

  6. Hi Mrs D!..First of all so much aroha to you and Christchurch and our people of NZ! This is my first time posting as today I finally decided to quit the booze!! Have had 20years of an on off battle with it and finally, I have had enough. I read your book a few years ago and remained sober for 18 months, those 18months were the best and happiest 18 months of my life! So thank you! I am going to hunt your book out and read it again! You are such an inspiration! Looking forward to seeing my transformation over the coming weeks/months. Excited for a new healthy happy me. Excited for sobriety!!!

  7. Congratulations on your sobriety journey! It is really hard at first but with the help of the people beside you and an excellent alcohol rehab centers you can succeed in removing alcohol in your life. Find our more alcohol recovery programs that you can do at

  8. Hi!

    Just a quick note to say I started listening to your book on audiable yesterday & it inspired me to start my own blog.


  9. Love from Angelica. So sorry for everything that had happened to you. I can understand as I have also gone through this type of situation where all of a sudden it feels like killing yourself. Then, I did the same as yoga, traveling with my friends (Egypt), making new friends and reading a book like My Shovelwhich went most effective for me. You have become my motivation and thanks for sharing this love dear.

  10. You are right, love conquers all. Love strengthens you with full of emotions and positive energy. Love is a pure feeling that feels your life with happiness and makes stronger.

  11. Love is everything for me. I believe in magic of love. It has a great power.