Thursday, December 27, 2012

Yeah!!!! Lovely and calm...

Yaaaaa Hoooooo to all of us who made it through Christmas sober. Yay for us! Yes!  Great job for all of us who said 'no' left, right, and centre to drinks. It's a tough time, for sure, and one so usually associated with drinking and celebrating.

We were at the neighbors yesterday for a few hours in the afternoon and I batted away pims and white wine, opting instead for Sprite (booooring) but who cares that's the way it has to be.  Then today up the road for lunch and I was 'no thanks' to white wine, then red wine, opting instead for water. Zzzzzzzzz. But again, that's the way it just has to be.

Sometimes I can't believe I'm not going to touch alcohol for the rest of my life, but other times I can't possibly imagine going back to drinking it hard out all the time. I think it's just going to get easier and easier and more and more normal and ordinary to be a non-drinker.

And the kids, the kids, it's all about the kids. If I stop being so self-obsessed for a moment and take a second to look around me at the little people who are in the middle of their childhoods, I feel really good. They have no idea how I have changed their early years by kicking their boozy mother to the curb.  Even I don't know what exactly the difference would be to the childhood they're having now vs the childhood they would have had if I'd remained a wine-guzzler.

I do know that sober me was able to stay up late wrapping presents and organizing stockings, stay calm at 10pm when little eyes are still open, not get too grumpy at 3am when excitement breaks through slumber again and be ok with a 6am start to the day.

Sober me was able to take the time to search for the special lego arm that was missing, build the fancy 3-D tank puzzle, drive to a picnic lunch and drive to the beach afterwards, jump on the trampoline late in the evening, snuggle on the sofa watching Back To The Future and have a long chat at bedtime about the merits of Moshi Monsters. Sober me is very locked into my kids and really spending time connected to them. It's a lovely reality of a calm sober life.

That flatness that I often talk about, which is really just a description of my adjusting to being sober all the time.. was actually just a quiet peaceful state of mind that permeated my entire Christmas experience.

So yay for me and yay for you and yay for all of us who take the leap, deal with the downsides but embrace the upsides of living alcohol free. Next, New Years Eve - a party in our home town with a big crowd of old friends. Should be interesting.....

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. YAY!YAY! and Thrice YAY!! for you Mrs D. So good to read you've had a peaceful, happy Christmas. Much love and respect to you x

  2. Let me assure you that you ARE most definitely a better and more present mama to your littles than if you were drinking. I can list off the things you would see in your kids as they grow and turn in to adults, if you had continued in your drinking. There are symptoms to children being raised by an alcoholic parent that are universal. With that said, yes, yay you! One courageous Mama to even look at all of this, let alone live it out day by day!

  3. Calm is so much better a word than flat.

    I've been spending the holidays with my grandkids. My oldest grandson is 9 years old and I wonder if he misses the frantically fun (read drunk) Grandma he used to have. I wonder if he remembers the hungover Grandma that let him eat ice cream for dinner because she was too sick to fix him a proper meal.

    I think the "calm", controlled, but still fun, Grandma that makes him eat a turkey sandwich before he can get into the Christmas cookies, will ultimately triumph over the "old Grandma" and replace all those crazy dangerous fun memories with calm ones. (I always think of the movie 28 days, where Sandra Bullock's character is in rehab and flashing back to a time when her drunk mother is laughing uproariously as she loads her and her sister on a sled for a ride down a snowbank and you can hear the traffic whizzing by and the horns honking on the freeway that is at the bottom of the hill.)

    Merry Christmas and a Calm, Peaceful New Year to you and yours, mi amiga!

  4. I didn't get sober until my kids were grown--and how I wish I could go back and do it earlier. I was a quiet daily drinker, so my kids weren't exposed to a lot of drunky-drama, but they did have a mother who emotionally unplugged every evening, who wasn't interested in finding that lego arm or reading that second bedtime story. Most evening, their mother wanted mostly to just be left alone. Sigh.

    You are giving them such a gift Mrs. D.

  5. It was so refreshing to spend Christmas smiling and happy rather than hungover and wishing for a nap and that people would just calm down for god's sake. It does seem daunting to think about never drinking again. I like to compare drinking to being in prison. That makes it a little easier. Sober holidays ahead! Woot woot!

  6. Lovely post. Love how you described that flatness as turning into a calmness that carried you through the holiday chaos. Hope you enjoy your new year's eve celebration. It can be a tricky time for us non-drinkers, but the things I'm looking forward to have nothing to do with drinking or not drinking and I'm so grateful for the change this year.

  7. Yey for everyone. I made it too. First time ever. It helps to acknowledge the "flatness" and stay with it. Now I know that running from the flatness was easiest by guzzling alcohol. This year I was awake and helpful for the duration!

  8. Yes! I love this post, Mrs. D! It makes me so pleased to be sober. This is such a hectic, stressful time of the year and it's so nice to see you finding rewards for all of the good things you are doing sober. Little things we didn't notice before, the REAL good stuff.


  9. Hiya Mrs D, I wanted to give you a wee thank you. I decided to stop drinking for December-to save money mostly but also because its been getting too much with the anxiety and the aching kidneys and oh, just all the crap! I started reading some blogs and came across yours on Christmas Eve which I really enjoyed reading! I had planned to allow myself to drink xmas day and xmas eve, which I did and for the first time, really didnt enjoy the first drink, which is something. Anyway, by the 26th I was in the 'Ah what the hell-its Christmas' mindset, and all set to pile into the wine we got for christmas. I sat and read your blog instead and didnt touch a drop, and I havent wanted anything since. It just feels like as soon as you open the door to booze, it invites itself in again and again, even if it didnt even taste or feel good. So thanks for helping me squeeze the door shut on the pushy sod! Its just a little thing I suppose in the grand scheme of things, but really thanks :)

  10. The Other Mrs D....3 months on 1/1/13January 1, 2013 at 8:32 AM

    Hi Mrs D, You always seem to know what I am thinking! But the thought that I'm never going to ever have a glass of wine again...EVER ... did cross my mind over the holidays and more than once. I must admit that makes me sad because I really loved it...but I will never touch it again because one glass leads me right back into that tug of war with the bottle. It's all or nothing.... so for me it's nothing...never ever again. But that is ok because I am sooooo enjoying my clear head. I can think about so many other things instead of all the booze stuff. That was such chaos in and day out. I am sooooo glad it's over! Happy New Year!!!