Thursday, March 14, 2013

What's changed?

Just took a look and discovered I am 555 days sober today - woo hoo! 555 days of freedom.

Sober day number 555 for me involves having a sick 6-year-old home from school watching Apollo 13 from the sofa, a 3-year-old obsessing over a book about ghosts and running around the house playing 'armies', cleaning the bathroom, mopping the kitchen floor, looking at blogs and twitter and generally just mooching around being a mother and housewife.

I've been thinking about what is different in my life now I live without alcohol.

In some ways there are major differences. I have removed guilt and hangovers and bad sleep and sick guts and wasted money and overflowing recycling bins and sloppy behavior.

On the flipside I have gained self respect, pride, sometimes an itchy boredom, most of the time a sense of calm, a fabulous new online community and cheekbones.

But in many ways, and this is the interesting thing, a lot of things in my life haven't changed. I still wake up, shower, get dressed, eat, run around, eat some more, get undressed and go to sleep. I still manage friendships and relationships and deal with other people's wants and needs. I still pay bills and answer emails, fill the car with petrol and change lightbulbs.

I still wish I was a more stylish dresser, worry that I'll never learn how to blow-dry my hair straight and regret not painting my nails or plucking my eyebrows more often.

I still plan meals in advance and shop once a week. I still watch lots of Reality TV and keep up with news and current events. I still sing in the shower and make a horrible growling noise when I get an 'itchy inner ear' (and Mr D still says that's my worst habit).

I still get highs and lows and laugh and cry, get grumpy, angry, stressed, delighted and relieved, although there is no denying those emotional states are more pronounced now that I have removed my great leveler, wine.

I used to look at sober people and want to ask 'what's it like? what's it like not ever drinking?' And now I can see how that is such a difficult question to answer. On the one hand it's monumental, a hugely life changing, revelatory move to make, to remove booze. On the other hand it's just another decision made, change implemented, choice taken. Fuck me I'm pleased I did that 555 days ago.

Love, Mrs D xxx




    555 days!

    What a lovely figure that is.

    And fuck me I'm glad you did too.

    Lilly xo

  2. AMAZING! Good job on 555 days of freedom :) You sound great!

  3. It's amazing to have 555 days. 'What's it like not ever drinking?' This is my favourite answer (Read it in an article/blog/recovery memoir?)
    So I don't drink alcohol anymore. Sometimes it's easy...sometimes it's so hard it takes my breath away.
    Keep on doing what you're doing. You are fab!
    Carrie C

  4. Congrats on 555 days. This another post that should be read more than once for motivation and confirmation of who we are now.
    And "cheekbones"? That was really cute. You must enjoy those too!

  5. Congrats on the 555 sober days! Awesome!

  6. Congrats on your 555 days! I used to have that question too - how the hell did people get out of the house without any booze in them? How did they walk around unaltered in their state? How did they *live* without alcohol as an anchor? It took me some time to find out the answer, and I can't imagine going back to where I was. Ever. I too enjoy my life as it is, and look forward to even better days.

    Thanks for the inspiring post...yay Mrs. D!


  7. Congrats on all that sobriety!

    It's a wonderful life!


  8. Congrats to 555! Wow that sounds HUGE! Remember when it was just day 5? Geesh!!! I am sooooo glad you decided that 555 days ago too! So glad to be a part of this community with you! I have lost track of my you have inspired me to go add it up too! Have a great weekend!!

    BTW Mrs D, I know you love reality TV but....have you ever tried Court TV? OMG...I am insanely following the Jodi Arias trial and then at night I watch Nancy Grace and all the others debate the trial. I have a weakness for pathological liars on trial, but that's me! ha ha

  9. and now 556...! Congratulations Mrs. D, I've really enjoyed coming along for your sober ride.

  10. Congrats on 555! So awesome! Thanks the great post :)

  11. You are such an inspiration! And, thanks to you, i just checked out my days on a sobriety calculator. 795! You're so right, it's important to look back from time to time and get perspective on just how far we've come.

  12. 558 I think now! How wonderful. I know so many say it so often but please believe it when I say you really have been and remain an inspiration to me and so many others. I see you as one of - if not THE - "founding mother" of this blog community. xx

  13. "On the other hand it's just another decision made, change implemented, choice taken."

    So true Mrs. D! I love this so much I printed it out and will tape where I can see it daily.

    Just celebrated six months....super proud that I did it and will continue to make the decision not to drink.

    Congrats to you!