Thursday, December 19, 2013

A sober silly season

I went to the pub this week! Twice! And it was totally fine. Both time I guzzled a couple of lemon, lime and bitters and nattered with girlfriends. Fairly new girlfriends - some of whom didn't know about my not drinking - but not a single word was said and it really was irrelevant that I didn't have alcohol in my glass.

It's the silly season and everyone all around my fair country is gearing up for a boozy Christmas and New Years. Except for all the fabulous sober warriors of course…!

This is my third sober silly season and so far I've had only one teeny weeny pang (today when someone mentioned they were having a boozy boxing day lunch and suddenly a tiny woe-is-me thought passed through my mind. I batted it away quick smart).

Last year I did have quite a few sad pangs.. and the year before I was brand spanking shiny new at being sober so it was all weird and different. I kept retreating into the bedroom to read blogs.

One of the best bits of advice I've ever heard regarding holidays and how to cope being sober around family and drinking came from Mr SponsorPants. He says "Remember, other people find the holidays difficult and emotionally charged as well -- you're not the only one having a tough time of it -- watch for ego and hyper-sensitivity, and rather than sit in your own upset, see who and how you can help wherever you may be or whomever you may be with."  You can read his whole Holiday Survival Guide here. It's ace.

This advice really works for me because that's the truth of it of course. Everyone comes together at Christmas time and brings their own exhaustion from their own busy year and their own personal stresses and strains and everyone thinks their stresses and strains are the worst stresses and strains (which of course they are to them) and … well I just find it helpful to imagine everyone else dealing with shit and then my own shit doesn't seem so insurmountable.

And remember.. push your thoughts through the evening and imagine going to bed sober. Imagine waking up fresh with no hangover and sick guts or guilt. Those are the beautiful things worth staying sober for. That and the healthy dose of self-respect you'll have after the silly season is over.

I am just so freaking exhausted and ready to stop the treadmill and get off for a bit. Kids are tired. Mr D is tired. The birds outside in the trees are tired too. (I wish the bloody neighbours were tired and not having a party tonight but oh well).

Off to bed. Bye for now all you lovely people.

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. I'm right there with you my friend, this is my third sober Holiday Season also and I can honestly say, I don't miss drinking in the least. There is no dread in my stomach about how much I'll drink or how bad I'll feel or how stupid I will act. I have nothing but pride in my past two Christmas's. Sorry to say I can't say that about the 35 that went before that.
    Merry Christmas, Mi Amiga!
    The best is yet to come.

  2. I avoid pubs altogether - I don't like them anyway, but I get anxious when in a pub and know I'll start drinking unnecessarily. I enjoy going home sober and having a warm bath and feeling smug that I'm not drunk/being stupid/going to wake with a hangover. Please see my post on one of the reasons I don't drink:

    Thanks for sharing,
    Kat x

  3. I don't hit the pubs unless I am there with someone and I am eating. I mean, what other reason would I need to be there? It's not that I don't trust myself, but there really is no point in being there. I have a sad (that is, no) social life in general, so i don't need to worry about the lads haranguing me to skip down to the Fox and Fiddle and join them in their cheery holiday piss up. I am more likely to be asked to take out the garbage or go shopping for more wrapping paper. Fair enough.

    But for those who have social engagements, yeah, buyer beware. Just be careful out there - check your motives, y'all.

    But what you said about everyone having issues with family, etc. Bang on! We think we're the only ones struggling at times? No way. Whole movies and books and magazine articles and countless other media venues have been done just about this topic. Home for the holidays - what a chuckle! What drama! Oh no, I can't believe I am related to these people! Oh drunk uncle Pete. I just happen to be that uncle, is

    Great post, Mrs. D. Hope you and the rest of the family are doing well this holiday season!!!


  4. I'm girding my loins and checking my intentions and taking lots of deep breathes for Christmas Day. We will emerge the other side unscathed and victorious! :)

  5. Have a great Christmas. They called it Black Friday last night here all the pubs and clubs full of revellers. Wife was at her work Christmas do - normally someone does something they shouldn't have and this year sounds no different. Daughter was out at her boyfriends house for a small family party. So ... I went to a meeting had a cup of tea and mince pie and listened to why it is a good idea I go to a meeting not a pub.

  6. I love Mr SP's holiday guide too, it really is ace! Each year that I have read it, I have stayed sober through the holidays, so I'm hoping he'll continue to publish it each year :)

    Just dropping by to say hi and wish you and your family a very merry and happy Christmas, Mrs. D. Thanks for being such a fab sober friend this year!

    Love, Christy