Sunday, December 15, 2013

Sobriety Pros and Cons...

There are a couple of bad things about being sober..

1) Occasionally I get a bit bummed out that I can't drink alcohol like other people can

2) My kids always steal my special non-alcoholic drinks (which I have rarely now but on weekends and special occasions I'll buy something different & treaty). They just go after it the minute they see I've got something different in my glass, knowing it'll always be non-alcoholic. This is very annoying.

I would go so far as to say that no 2) is worse than no 1). The number 1) feelings come along rarely nowadays and don't last long. Number 2) I'm totally over. If I want to have a special treaty drink I want it all to myself!!

There are many good things about being sober..

1) I'm no longer a tragic heavy boozer addicted to drinking wine all the time, believing (incorrectly) it made things more fun, not realizing how it was dragging me down

2) I feel calmer and happier in general

3) I look healthier (hair, skin, eyes)

3) I feel more authentic. When I react to something with happiness, fear, anger, sadness, joy, surprise feels more real and I sit more comfortably with the emotions (especially the difficult ones)

4) I get to do loads more writing because I started blogging as a way to keep myself sober and the blog led to a book and hopefully more writing projects will come..

5) Loads of things about me have improved - some of these improvements are imperceptible to others but I am aware of them every day. My cooking, housekeeping, personal grooming, dressing, etc has all got just that little bit better.

6) I don't know what my friends and family would say about this but I feel like I'm way more available and connected emotionally to everyone around me.

7) I sleep waaaaaaay better.

8) I'm part of a warm, wise, interesting, supportive online community of people interested in living without alcohol.

9) I get to be sober! And I think that's a totally interesting way to live. It's definitely more interesting for me on the inside looking out, and I think it's an interesting fun fact about me for people I meet .. something you don't hear every day, especially when I'm so open about my reasons for not touching the stuff (can't control it).

10) Shitballs.. I can't think of a number 10. Um….. I can always drive home, I never wake up with a hangover, I've more money to spend, my insides must be healthier, maybe I've reduced my risk of getting cancer or some other health nasty?, I read more books .. actually I could keep going forever. There are a million reasons why being sober is great and hardly any why it's not.

Don't believe me? Try it for yourself. Go on.. I dare ya….

Love, Mrs D xxxx


  1. Didn't you find that your taste buds came back? I used to drown my great sloppy casseroles in red wine and use far too many spices and cook while drunk with a sodden blunted pallate

    Now I can taste sharp, lemony, salty, bitter, sweet, hot, umami. My mouth-feel grew back!

  2. I love ya Mrs D - you are a sober goddess in my eyes :)

  3. I love this post because it's surprisingly easy already, at day 40, to forget how bad things were and lose track of how they have already improved. I should have taken a selfie at day 1 to remind me!

  4. I love gratitude lists like this! I think the idea of being authentic is my favourite (well, next to number The idea of the authentic self has been coming up a lot the last day or two, so maybe something for me to look at :) But I do love that we no longer have to be chameleons or actors in our lives. We can just learn to be us :)

    Awesome stuff, Mrs. D :)


  5. I love this! I'm on day 10 being sober and I'm noticing so many new things about me!

  6. My list wouldn't be dissimilar to yours I think. A very few on the cons and thousands on the pros. Like you I suffer the "Hey who's drunk the rest of the ?" Normally the "normal drinkers" all hold up a glass at this point as I look at the case full of booze I'd expected them to drink when I did the shopping. We've learnt - they don't send the alcoholic to buy the booze for Christmas, BBQ or party, if they do the garage is full of it for months!

  7. 2) is totally the worst thing. I hate it when I order a bottle of sparkly water at a restaurant, and other people at the table just grab it thoughtlessley, pour it for themselves and others, not realising that it's my LIFE LINE GODDAMMIT! How immature is that? But it's true. That bottle of water represents my freedom, and I'm super precious about that! XX

  8. I miss the initial buzz of the very first drink (say a good quality Mojito) and the anticipation of the night ahead that comes with it (I get VERY excited!) but unfortunately (as is the nature of the beast) I can't stop there and have to over do it and ruin it. Going home after a night with friends sober makes me feel smug :) knowing I'm going to have a proper sleep instead of drunken coma, and know I will wake up with a whole day ahead of me instead of waking with a hangover and wanting to kill myself (very often literally!).. so yeah lots to be said for those pros and cons. Happy Christmas x


  9. Another plus - healthy hormones! Menopause is hell if you're a substance abuser... I know from experience and observation of others (I'm 55).

    YAY MRS. D, you're so fab!

  10. That's a great list Mrs. D. I look forward to having my own list.

  11. I'll never forget my moment of clarity.That's what's kept me sober for 14 years. the cons i have is now im a wall flower at social events where people are drinking. the pros, i dont have to worry about driving home anymore.