Tuesday, January 7, 2014

All that matters ....

Sometimes people say to me "congratulations on your blog" or "well done on the book contract" and it's really lovely of them but I always feel a little odd about it because I felt like the congratulations should really be directed at the fact that I got sober. The blog, the book etc all comes second to me, my sobriety comes first and will always come first.

What I mean is that I didn't set out to write a blog and get a book contract and get noticed for all of that. I set out to remove alcohol from my life.. I set out to work really hard to turn my life around and get myself out of the boozy hell-hole that I was in. I didn't set out to gather material for a book or achieve world domination in social media... I just wanted to fix myself.

Don't get me wrong.. having a blog that people read is totally awesome, as is getting a contract to write a book about my sobriety, having a twitter account, and getting to write articles like this one for Mumsnet.

It's all totally great and fun and rewarding and fulfilling .. but it's all a by-product of the main event which was me facing up to an alcohol problem and getting sober. That's all that matters.

All that matters on a Tuesday night when I brush my teeth is that I am sober.

All that matters on a Friday lunch-time when I race to the supermarket to buy lightbulbs, milk and bananas is that I am sober.

All that matters as I tweet from my bed that I am so happy to be waking up hangover free is that I am waking up hangover free.. not that people might read and respond to that tweet.

All that matters when I get to do publicity for my book is that I will be finishing each day with a cup of tea and not 5 glasses of red wine because I don't drink shitloads of wine anymore.

I used to drink lots of wine all the time. I bought bottles all the time. I drank them rapidly, steadily and heavily. I did it all the time. And now I don't.

Shit I've just gotten tearful typing this .. that was unexpected. I obviously feel quite deeply about this. There's going to be a lot of stuff going on for me this year with the book coming out and other potential projects and I really feel underneath it all, all that matters is that I got myself sober. I faced up to a huge difficult problem and worked really hard to fix myself.

That's all that matters.

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. You are more than just a sober person...you are very inspiring, easy to connect with, and genuinely kind. What matters is that you are a sober YOU who is capable of so much (sober). I am really excited to read your book. xxx -Jen

  2. All matters is that you reap whatever is delivered to you because you're sober and kind and giving and genuine and just plain AWESOME!

    Enjoy all your exciting new life changes. You deserve them. You earned it. It's karma girlfriend!


  3. I got a bit weepy reading this because YOU getting sober and writing about it was such a huge factor in ME getting sober, and staying that way. But yes, under all the sober awesomeness, getting and staying free of a nasty booze habit is all that matters. XX

  4. YOU matter. In this big world of millions and billions of people, your voice matters and you are making a difference by walking your life as honestly as you know how to each day. What a gift to you....and to us. <3

  5. You have to remember at the smallest granularity what you are sometimes. Me? I'm an alcoholic - I have to remember that before I even remember my name, age, sex, dob, marital status etc. It so has to define who I am because if I become something more important than that then that loses it's priority and we all know that.
    Is a sure way to a SLIP!
    Great post - thanks for reminding me what I should already know

  6. Hi Mrs D, I loved reading your article for Mumsnet, that was great. Rx

  7. Congrats on staying sober.. and for wanting to get there in the first place. Some people can't admit they need sobriety, some people don't understand that they can say no. Happy new year Mrs D.

    Kat x

  8. I am 30 days Sober with YOUR help. Thank you Mrs. D, you deserve so much happiness in your life. Everyday I look forward to reading a new post on your blog. I can't wait for your book! - Dee

  9. I really enjoyed reading your mumsnet article. A great but honest advert for sobriety!

  10. You are great for everything that you have achieved - starting with your sobriety and rippling out from there :) Read your fab Mumsnet article after you tweeted about it ;) xx

  11. Beautiful. You are such a lovely inspiration Mrs D and once again you've nailed it. xx

  12. Beautifully written. I too find my self weepy at the oddest times when I think about embracing this sober life. Kudos to you, look forward to the book.

  13. You're a triple threat, aren't ya? Everywhere and yet in the beauty of the comfort in being in your own skin. What a trip it's been, yes? And a book too? How dare you! How dare you share your love and light with us? this heathen will certainly expect at least a signed copy. Or if not, then at least send me an email and I will print it up and duct tape it to the back cover. or just wave from the others side of the planet and catch your groovy love waves. Or nothing. Just be in the wonderfulness of sobriety and take it at that.

    Congrats...and thank you for you, my dear :)

    Blessings and hugs,

  14. Ah, being sober and sobriety are both such great gateways into our true selves. Without sobriety I would not be the woman I am today, and you just said it perfectly: " I really feel underneath it all, all that matters is that I got myself sober." I feel this way too- sometimes in an overwhelming way- how it is such a hard earned beautiful gift I gave myself, that without it I would not have been able to live this life I now love. Hugs.

  15. Mrs D- Getting and staying sober as you have done is by itself an awesome achievement. That you have been comfortable enough to blog about this and let your successes ripple out to inspire and instruct others like me searching for our own truth- this is totally amazing. Thank you!!

  16. Oh Mrs. D., I am crying with you. And as much as I agree with you that sobriety comes first -- I disagree that it is ALL that matters.

    You see? Because EVERYTHING matters. Everything that happened before you stopped drinking led you exactly to where you are today. Every action you make affects the person you are becoming and the effect you are having on other people.

    It's like a train of dominoes falling. Each domino is important--the next one cannot fall until the one before it falls, and it can only fall if the one before *it* fell, and yes, sobriety is a super important domino and if it doesn't fall, then no others can fall either, but it's just a big ole domino circle of shitballs. (see, told you---favorite word!). and every shitball needs the other shitballs.

    I'm not sure if any of that made sense, but just remember this ... we're only here for a short amount of time. It ALL matters. What are we if not dominoes for our next generations?

    Proud of you in every way,