Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Big family holiday...

It's pissing down. Raining really heavily. I've got Janis Ian playing and a scented candle burning. Have just discovered a leak in our study.

Am about to start packing the suitcases for our our annual big extended family Easter holiday. We leave on a ferry tomorrow for 5 days of food and drink and family fun in a remote isolated location. 20 adults. 10 kids. Forecast is for rain.

Just got a group email from one of the lovely hosts warning us to bring good wet weather gear. She ended it with the line "safe travels tomorrow and the gin and tonics will be ready".

Not for me thanks! Maybe I'll have a soft drink in a wine glass. Or maybe I'll have a nice cup of herbal tea. Because I don't drink alcohol any more. I'll be raising a glass of self-esteem instead.

That comment isn't a reflection on my family, or a judgement. It's just about me.

Four years ago I turned up for this holiday, started drinking at 2pm and didn't stop. I got completely shitfaced and passed out in bed early in the evening. I had to leave the dinner table without saying goodnight because I'd lost the ability to talk. It was awful.

I spent the rest of the weekend quietly miserable. Still drinking of course, but just quietly, deeply miserable.

So this weekend, with my family all drinking around me, I'll feel invisibly wrapped in my warm cloak of sobriety and quietly toast myself for having turned my life around.

That's not to say it won't be tricky at times. 5 days is a long time to be around family.. especially in a confined space with it raining constantly. But I love my family.. all of them..and I wouldn't miss this annual get-together for the world.

There will be an Easter Egg hunt, and the famous Easter disco (costumes welcome!), and there will be lots of chatting and catching up and re-connecting. Everyone has their own stuff going on, and it helps me to remember that. There will rosters for cooking and doing dishes and lots of delicious food, and yes there will be lots of wine and gin and tonics.. but I'll look after myself. I'll keep my lovely online sober community in mind and take myself away if need be. I have some good novels.

And it's not a bad spot to be.

Happy Easter everyone!

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. sounds awesome! enjoy! amy

  2. Such a beautiful place. Happy Easter, Mrs. D

  3. Oh, that 4 years ago story sure speaks to me. I have been that person at some big events, so many times. Not fun. I'm glad you're where you are now, sober and happy and showing how it's done, and about to have a wonderful vacation! Happy Easter to you, too. xo

  4. "I'll be raising a glass of self-esteem instead" What a wonderful way of putting it Mrs D. Have an amazing time and I'll be replacing drinking wine with eating chocolate galore! ;) xx

  5. Looks an absolutely stunning place! Hope you get to see some of the views through the rain ;) Have a lovely weekend :) xxx

  6. Happy Easter! Yes, the you of 4 years ago I also know all too well. The hangover and the shame and pretending all is well.. Terrible. Soo much better to be sober ;) A lovely spot to be, I hope the rain will take a break sometimes to let you enjoy the scenery.
    N. Maya

  7. Go Mrs D! Have a safe trip and a lovely time with your family. Here's a glass of self esteem for everyone in the sober community. Happy sober Easter everyone. X

  8. Remember your boundaries and the promises you make to yourself. You'll do fine and feel great doing it. Fun times ahead!

  9. Great post Mrs D. Hope you have some joy during your holiday x

  10. Hey there,

    few people can admit to themselves incidents like that one you mentioned. Keep forgetting, editing things out. But this does not help with changing habits, a thing that you are admirably successful with. Reckon it has been a good craic, even, or better all the more without booze (i'm at the "will it still be fun without?" level, somewhere between a nervous "I don't really want to but it could still be fun" and feeling no urge, but nagging boredom instead). Reading your posts is reassuring. Thank you for that!