Thursday, April 10, 2014

Don't let them give you shit...

You know, I don't think I've ever got any shit from anyone for not drinking. Actually that's not true. There was one guy once at a party who tried to give me shit 'Oh no, what? You're not drinking? I told everyone how fun you are to party with!' he slurred from his slumped position on a chair.

I just laughed and thought to myself 'dude, this is your issue, I'm still having fun' and proceeded to dance the night away while he kept sneaking around the back of the venue to get stoned. Who's having fun really?

Aside from him (and he is a nice guy really, just trapped in a mindset of 'must get wasted to have fun') in 947 days of being sober (just checked - whoop!) I haven't been hassled by anyone because I've quit booze or been pressured by anyone to have a drink. Not even friends and family who still drink steadily and regularly give me shit. They just do their thing and I do mine. We co-exist. It's all good.

There's a lot of talk in this country about our dreadful drinking culture yet I now move around this country as a sober person and it's not the end of the world. It's totally do-able. I'm not ostracized or shunned. Would I be getting loads more party invitations if I was still boozing? I don't think so. I still get invited places. Hopefully people don't leave me off the guest list because of my new lifestyle ("don't invite boring Mrs D - she doesn't drink any more you know"). Frankly if anyone was to think that I probably don't want to be at their event anyway. But I'm pretty sure that doesn't happen.

A long time alcohol counsellor told me recently that he hears from a lot of callers to their hotline that they get shit from friends and co-workers about not drinking. That sucks. If you get hassled, remember… it's their problem. We can choose if we want to make it ours or not.

Maybe things are slowly changing here regarding drinking. Three stories in the media recently. This sports club that has banned all booze. Sales and sponsorship. "It's time for a change" the club boss says. Awesome! The police applying to radically change this event and it's boozy reputation. And special liquor licenses being denied for a holiday weekend in a resort town. This doesn't mean the weekend will fall flat! Booze being available doesn't have to be what makes the weekend fun (the local bars might have to take a bit of convincing on that one).

It always comes down to money. Booze sells, booze is a commodity.. it makes money for businesses large and small. But it messes with us. Alcohol related harm is ridiculously high. Something has to change. Slowly but steadily, one brave person at a time, we might see some change happening.

In the meantime I'm off to indulge myself for a few hours at the hair salon. Oh lucky sober housewife me.

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. Hmmm... that's interesting. I have copped a fair bit of... not exactly shit... though sometimes (!) but questions, asking, comments. Not so much from good friends as from randoms, with two notable exceptions who have definitely drifted away now we don't meet and sink a bottle of wine each together weekly (sigh). Maybe it's partly all in the attitude? I have been thinking about how I need to 'own' my sobriety more and remind myself it's cool to be different and daring, rather than feeling left out and boring.

    It has certainly struck me at times that those who hassle you aren't always the ones who seem to be having the most fun themselves, more like drowning their sorrows. There was this one night a guy I barely knew (a friend's date) just would not let it go and keep trying to insist I drank. He ended up being arrested later that night for being drunk and disorderly and spending the night in a jail cell! Anyway, what was my point? I don't know. But HELLO! Lilly xo

  2. I've unfortunately been given some serious shit, but thankfully only once so far, and it was definitely their issue. Do we see much of them now - no and I plan to keep it that way. If you're going to try to make me feel bad about my choice then my choice is not to be with you :) xx

  3. No one's given me any shit either, Mrs. D. And I think Lilly's right, we need to own our sobriety. I've said before being successful at sobriety is also about attitude. We have to strut our gorgeous sober selves. It's funny, I keep wondering when someone's going to say "just one, why not"? I think they're afraid of my answer, but, I also think it has to do with age. I imagine those in their 20's or 30's get hassled more. Just sayin'.

  4. Thanks for your posts Mrs D. You have been a help to me and I appreciate it.
    Never been given a hard time about not drinking. Have been asked why I wasn't drinking though. My understated answer is that it got to be too much. Those that know me nod their heads yes and leave it at that. Over time they may ask, "still not drinking?" But I get the feeling they are not really asking about me anymore, they are thinkimg about setting down the booze too and want to see if life is worth living without it. I tell them I didn't know life could be this genuinely fulfillng. They nod.

  5. Have not been given grief either, and the times I've felt any have been more about the mood or state I've been in at the time. Mostly no one notices, though I've heard at least one person say they decided to give up drinking and it helped to see that I was able to do it. So I guess people are quietly taking it all in sometimes.

  6. I have never been given any crap about this either. The people who knew me when I drank automatically understand sobriety is better for me. I don't get out a lot so my experience with people unknown to me is limited.
    No crap from co-workers either. Once in awhile they will give me a look like I am somehow smarter than they are.

  7. Honestly I've never really had too much trouble like this. Some ask a bit too much which I then twig means they have a problem they either can't or won't admit to.

  8. Same here. I've gotten shit exactly once, and it was at a baby shower/birthday from the father-to-be/birthday boy. Nice guy, his own issues. Agreed. Like you, I think the tides are turning too. Alcohol free may become more normal as years pass. Hope so :)