Friday, June 10, 2016

Bit of a ranty rant...

The further away I get from my last drink the more I seem to forget how fucking BRAVE and AMAZING I am for getting sober!!

Yes oh yes I am!!

And so is ANYONE who takes the incredibly counter-cultural step of choosing to live without drinking booze ever. Holy Moses. Our worlds are awash with booze yet us brave and amazing sober people turn our backs on that 'normal' way of living and forge ahead with our lives never touching alcohol ever.

We still go to parties and BBQs and quiz nights and movie fundraiser nights and drinkies at friends and pizza parties and weddings and big birthday bashes all the rest of it.. but instead of taking the usual glass of chard or cheeky red or ice-cold beer or flute of fizz we say 'no thanks!' and 'not for me!' when these alcoholic beverages are offered.

Holy Sweet Mother of Bravery!!!!!!!

The longer I get away from my last drink the easier it is to forget how utterly terrifying and foreign it was when I first set out to live this way. How I would feel like an alien from another (boring) planet. How I would fear that everyone would consider me either a) a teetotaling weirdo with no personality or b) an appallingly weak and damaged alcoholic.

I am neither of those things! Well. .. technically I am a teetotaller and an alcoholic ... but I am not a weirdo, I do have a personality, I am not weak, and I am certainly not damaged.

I am just someone whose alcohol habit got completely out of control so I made the brave and amazing decision to stop drinking alcohol forever more.


Yay for me! Yay for you! Yay for all of us!

I could be writing about my sore neck or my tiredness or the huge bag of cheese supreme doritos I just ate or the cold weather or my new sheets or some other specifics about my life right now but I want to write about the BIG PICTURE and I want to FEEL GOOD!!!!!!!!

And so hence this ranty post full of caps and exclamation marks and too many es at the end of the word yippee.

Over and out from sober sober sober sober sober sober  SOBER me!!!!

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. Love this very cheery post Lotta, and you are right, the further we get away from our early struggling days the more we do forget how fucking brave adn amazing we are. I have completely forgotten lately and have spent the last couple of weeks beating myself up and feeling a very similar guilt and slippery slope feeling as when I was drinking. But about all the weight I've gained. Feel gross and ashamed. Feel like taking up smoking again. But that would be dumb.
    I must remind myself what a flipping hero I am, and give myself a break. Thank You. (It's really boring having Friday Happy Hour by myself with no treats and just mineral water. Boo Hoo I'm going to bed)

  2. Love the rant very very much! I think some paragraphs would be good on the site for those quickly scrolling through and not pausing to read the whole joyful celebratory celebration of achievement :) love it. Smiling a lot.

  3. Thank you - I love your happy rants!!! I am only about 5 months in and still feel like the weirdo from another (boring) planet. Went out with friends last night and had fun but still the awkwardness can be there. But I started realizing I truly DO have a better time when not drinking! My comments are funnier, I listen better, I save a lot of $$, and feel more confident! We walked into one bar and I strutted right in, looking for a table, and feeling pretty effing amazing to be sober in that place, happy and out with friends! :D

  4. Please tell me when that feeling kicks in!!! I am 4 months sober, summer is coming..and I'm worried about being a big old bore! xo

  5. Well said. We are so brave! It is becoming more clear to me as I enter summer just how counter cultural I am being.

  6. Mrs D, a question for you ....
    Do you think the day will come when you just stop blogging about it/writing about being sober? Your work and blogging is wonderful! I just feel personally, as much as its at the very back of my thoughts, life just goes on and there's not any point talking about it anymore. I suppose everyone's different tho.

  7. Anonymous, unsubscribe then?!? I'm 20 months sober and I look forward to the emails from Mrs D. Yes everyone's different, but I feel that most people who follow and read the blog relate to her journey of soberiety! I certainly do!

  8. I needed a little cheerleading right about now. I'm two years sober and know it's the best decision I ever made. But there are still twinges of feeling left out sometimes, and once in a while snide comments from people who I suspect have issues of their own. A reminder of how strong and brave and amazing we are is always appreciated!

    1. Two years is awesome - Great job Julie! You are a champ and your body and mind thank you. As Eleanor Roosevelt said "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." The snide folk will be who they are. Bully for them. Keep up the great work, and know you are not alone. - SecretQuitter

  9. Thanks - a good reminder and mood lift. I'm over 2 years sober and usually extremely happy and amazed at how much I love it. The last couple of weeks tho my mood has been low and the odd thought has surfaced about how it might be related to not drinking. As if returning to that hell hole would lift anything. So thank you for the lovely reminder that it is a brave act and to take care of ourselves.

  10. Mrs. D, I adore you. I heard about your memoir from the book "Drink." I read it in 2 days because I couldn't put it down. I just finished, and am on an airplane. I bought the internet on the flight because I can't get enough of your insight and humor in the face of a challenge, so here I am on your blog! Your scene in your book where you were delivering drinks to everyone at the wedding, and the way in which you described it was nothing short of hysterical. I can empathize whole-heartedly. I cling to my sparkling water at social events right now, like it's glued to my hand. And I've got to constantly be moving and chatting, so I don't distract myself with being without. I know this will pass. I'm just getting started - I am just past 3 weeks sober, and similar to you, a professional woman, mother, and family manager, with a bit of a nightly wine problem. You are helping me get through this - especially as I go on my first business trip without booze. I started a blog when I quit as well, called SecretQuitter on Wordpress. I'd be ever so grateful if you took the time to check it out someday when you have a moment (I know it's rare - especially with little ones.) Thank you for your grace and courage. I am in the trenches with you, and I need support, and am ready to support others too, in this wonderful community! Many blessings to you and yours from the USA. -SQ

  11. Love this post to those who are overcomes, Whatever you do don't go back to the drinks

  12. Mrs. D, i discovered your blog a few days ago. Really awesome.Today is going to be day number one! I haven't got past your 2012 posts yet, but had the urge to jump here to make a comment and make myself accountable. I'll be posting on a few other blogs too - for accountability there too and support. Am thinking of starting a blog.. OMG - how do i start all of this? Jen

  13. Mrs. D, I started my long overdue recovery 8 days ago after more than 40 years of mostly controlled drinking. But, whoa was me when I wasn't in control! I allowed my alternate personality complete control, and she lost my dignity. Thank God that that only happened in a safe environment! I read the first month of your blog and was so surprised to recognize myself.. I immediately bought your book.
    I too am going to try my recovery with help from the internet community and greatly appreciate your list of recommended sites. Thank you for blogging and for giving me hope of success. Determined to make it, Sharon.

  14. Dear Mrs. D,
    I am glad you are happy you quit!
    Your happiness about it is catching!

  15. We are amazing and awe-inspiring. Thank you for reminding me of that. It is hard sometimes to remember how hard it was, we were such different people. Love you! Thank you for being the awesome and loudest cheerleader on the squad!