Thursday, February 23, 2017

Kick-arse sober warrior

Sometimes I forget that the only constant in life is change. I get lulled into the current state of things and think this is how it's going to be forever.. then something happens and everything shifts again.

Sometimes the shifts are good and exciting, sometimes they're a bummer and hurt and take a bit of emotional management.

I know I'm being cryptic, there's nothing to announce.. just a few things shifting and changing and me in the middle going 'this is how life is. Nothing stays the same forever'.

In the midst of this change I'm doing ok. Going for walks with girlfriends around the neighbourhood. Doing my weekly yoga class and even doing some yoga at home sometimes with Adrienne on YouTube (this one is my current favourite). Using my mindfulness techniques to ground myself in the moment (enjoying my dog and interactions with the kids). Trying to eat healthily (sometimes succeeding sometimes failing). And of course the best one of all - staying fabulously, gloriously sober.

Oh how I love being sober! There are a million reasons for this but the best one is that no matter what else is going on I can always rest back on the knowledge that I was brave and amazing to beat my addiction and no longer pour carcinogenic shit down my throat by the bucket load.

I watched a doco on addiction the other day called Risky Drinking and it really brilliantly illustrated the sliding scale of addiction. There is no doubt at all that I was on the sliding scale. My relationship with alcohol was anything but casual. It was furtive, focused, heavy and determined. Thank goodness I got out when I did, and was attracted to the challenge of sobriety early on so that I embraced it and stuck with it. THANK GOODNESS!!

My mood has been a bit up and down lately but I'm riding the waves as only a sober, emotional, messy woman can. On the bright side my new book is about to go to print, the cover has been finalised and it's full steam ahead. Soon people will be able to read 60,000 words on the inner workings of my brain. I'm feeling nervous and vulnerable about this but that's ok.

I can deal with a bit of vulnerability because I'm a kick-arse sober warrior!

That's me.

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. Love the sober-warrior title. Im a bit of a warrior in training. How funny is it that Adrienne, based in Texas, is being watched globally. Thank goodness for the internet. She has been keeping me sane since I started my journey. Cant wait to read the new book. I have read your old one approximately two trillion times.

  2. Always a pleasure to hear how you are. It must be tough sometimes you are "known" and the anonymity has gone - but the upside is much greater.
    I love Adrienne too L xx

  3. Imagine if booze companies had to label their products with your phrasing - no more "enjoy a crisp ice cold glass of Chardonnay on the patio" but "enjoy pouring some carcinogenic shit down your neck and die before your time". Thank you for your writing and everything you do.

  4. I am happy I am sober, too!
    I just love how you show us that yes, life is messy, but yes it is better sober!

  5. Thank you for this post Lotta. I have a lot going down at the moment too, a friend dying, and my brother's loss of his home in the Port Hills fires. I am so very grateful to be clear and capable at all times of giving the support, communication and understanding that I hope will help my brave and courageous friends and family. I hope the changes you are experiencing settle nicely and comfortably for you Lotta xo

  6. Hey
    I watched that documentary too. It muddled my brain a bit, as I am still early doors in sobriety, and I found myself obsessing about the sliding scale they highlight.
    Was I full blown? I wasnt as bad as the examples suuuurely??
    Gah. Noisy in my head still but overall a million percent calmer than a couple of months ago.

    Love this site. Yours was the first blog I came across when I googled "I am 41 and I drink too much I think" on Xmas day.

    You are indeed a warrior. A Kiwi Badass Leader Warrior.

  7. Just starting out on the sober journey and wanted to say thank you for sharing your blog - I am finding it really helpful to read other people's experiences, particularly on Day 1 when I am already struggling! Love to hear you now Love sober life :-)

  8. Just reading your book and found your blog. You are an inspiration! Thank you!

  9. Reading your book now. It's just like me! I have said so much in the past year that I just want to be sober. Live sober. Not so much for programs, just want to be "that sober girl". I have 18 days today. I have tried 4 times in the past 12 months (but not really). Now - I got to a new slippery slide level and said that is as far down as I'm going. I'm a new Grandmommy and about to be 55. I do not want to be a wine-drunk Grandmommy. I'm looking at things so differently. I'm looking at the joys of sobriety - not the woes of not drinking anymore. The joys - the goals - the future outweighs the wine buzz any day. I'm already sleeping so much better and my ADHD brain is getting calmer. It is good. I know the pink cloud is very pretty - but I'm ready and using my tools. You are quite a fine tool to keep close. Love see how you got through the days. Thank you for blogging.