Friday, June 30, 2017

Proud of myself

I have been so proud of myself this week dragging my middle aged, wobbly body to the gym three times to go over my new weights programme.

Proud of myself that even when I'm lying on a mat doing bicycle crunches looking at myself in the mirror from the most unflattering angle ever noticing my boobs have basically fallen into my armpits all I am thinking is "I'm doing it!!"

Proud of myself that I'm not letting all the buff bodies around me put me off my own private mission to stay in touch with my fitness and keep working on my body.

Proud that I keep pushing myself forward even when I self sabotage (I ate a huge piece of fudge last night and felt sick when I woke up but still went to the gym).

Proud of myself that even though I might have had a sugar hangover this morning I did not have a booze hangover and that is because I gave that shit up 5 3/4 years ago!!

So, so, so, so proud of myself that I am sober.

Proud of myself that I face every goddamn emotion in my life like disappointment, frustration, boredom and sadness with a clear head and willing heart.

Proud of myself that I have gotten so much better at accepting situations for what they are rather than pushing against them wishing things were different.

Proud that I am modelling sobriety to my kids and even if they don't fully understand at this stage of their lives what I did in beating my addiction they will when they're adults and that will be a great thing.

Feeling proud of myself is one of the greatest gifts of sobriety. All the tea in china can't buy pride - nor can loads of money or the right connections. Pride has to come from deep within and when you feel it towards yourself it is so powerful and magical.

Every day - even the shit ones - I always feel proud of myself that I am sober.

It's a glorious thing.

Love, Mrs D xxx

12 comments:

  1. The pride you take in your Sobriety is marvelous! I don't feel proud...yet. You're completely right though, we ought to be proud of ourselves for living day in day out head on. I need to practice pride!

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  2. Hear hear,I agree totally, this is not an easy road, but in my experience, far superior to the alternative.

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  3. I am so proud of myself, too!
    It's such a better way to live!
    xo
    Wendy

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  4. I'm proud of myself. Especially today (we have relatives visiting and very, very large amounts of wine are being consumed by everyone but me). I bought myself your book today as an extra sober support during this booze-soaked weekend. Thanks for taking the time to write it!

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  5. This is great :)
    I'm proud of me for finding your blog and watching TV the night I did - and hear your story.
    Michelle xx

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  6. Mrs. D you are the absolute best. I am almost at 4 years and your blog was instrumental in helping me stick to it, still is, especially when feeling isolated. Love being sober, wouldn't trade it for anything. Emotions, yep they are hard, but better than a fucking hangover.

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  7. Beautiful post,good on you!

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  8. Good on you Mrs D! Keep going & the exercise will soon become a habit. I totally relate to your sugar self sabotage thing, you're cerainly not alone. Hoping your next book will be 'Mrs D goes without sugar'!

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  9. Forgot to say, couldn't put your new book down, loved it!

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  10. I just got your book, I have done outpatient and did so well! Now I am struggling and feel lost. Funny, your book attracted me because I am Mrs D as well. I hope I can find the ambition and courage to do as you do....I love my family and don't want to lose them.

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  11. Love it. Keep it up and the next alcoholic lying on the mat next to you will say, "I wonder if I could ever look that good"!

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  12. I think being proud of yourself is fabulous. I'm sober 25 years, 50 yrs old...lived on the streets and crawled into AA. Big hugs from the coast.
    Kelly
    www.intervention.life

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