Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Living my best life...

Hello anyone still reading this! I'm not blogging here as often as I used to which feels a bit weird but also the natural way of things. This blog was my absolute lifeline in the early days (as you will see if you go back to my early posts). It led me into the wonderful world of online recovery and taught me the importance of support and empathy and kindness and compassion.

Not sure how it's going to go in the future but just wanted to let you know (if you care that is!) that I am very present on my social media accounts which are Twitter @mrsdalcoholfree, Instagram  @mrs_d_alcoholfree and my Facebook page - Mrs D Is Going Without.

I'm trucking along pretty well right now. I'm still looking for some work outside of the home but am trusting that the right thing will come along soon. In the meantime I'm running the Living Sober website, appreciating my kids and all the parenting and pottering around the home I do. Trying to keep my mental health good by eating right and walking the dog and going to the gym and stuff. This is how I work my recovery, by keeping an eye on all of the physical and emotional aspects of my life and working to keep things in balance. I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination (last night I had crackers with butter and jam for dinner), but that's perfectly ok. Overall I have come a HUGE way since I quit drinking.

I'm now fully accepting of the fact that I am an addict and anything that kickstarts dopamine in my brain is kryptonite to me. So I try to avoid those things (alcohol all the time, sugar and flour 90% of the time) because when I do I feel free from cravings and compulsions and that is a much happier place for me to reside in. How very grown up!

Being sober is grand. I am completely settled into my sober skin now and can't for a minute imagine my life soaked in wine like it used to be. I am so, so, so, so happy to have booze out of my life. I look around at others drinking and can't see that I'm missing out on anything at all. Is that just because I have forgotten the pleasure of having that liquid drug in my body? Maybe, but I don't care. Life in the raw is great. Daring, rebellious, gritty, real, grounded and rewarding. And I have gained so very much.

It takes a huge adjustment to go from living boozily to living sober, so please do hang in there if you are in the rough early stages and know that you are undergoing a huge, heroic life change that will be really worth it in the end. Nothing bad ever comes from getting sober and any changes that come about from quitting booze are usually good ones (even if it dosn't seem like it at first). I know I'm generalising massively here but this does seem to be true.

Here's a selfie taken while on a big walk last weekend with the family. This is me aged 46 and a half, six and a half years sober, 14kg lighter than when I quit drinking with a mostly very settled brain chemistry (other than natural mood fluctuations and hormonal swings).

Sober. Not perfect, but facing every challenge with an honest intention and my best foot forward.

Who could ask for anything more?

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. You've inspired a lot of people to get sober via blogging. I'm one of them. I still can't believe it worked. Proof: I am up at 5:00 am in the morning in my neck of the woods. I so look forward to starting the day. This would never happen in a million years while drinking.

    I look forward to finding out about your next adventure/book. And THANK YOU for sharing your journey! ; )

  2. Great to hear from you, mrs. D. You've been a lifeline to so many. And continue to be. As you ease into a new phase, I'm certain others will continue to use this resource and engage with those who need it.

  3. I love this blog, I don't usually comment but always read. So inspiring. I'd love to be 14kg down, but all in time I suppose.

  4. I LOVE you! You have helped so many of us! You were one of the firs people I found that led a joyful sober life!

  5. Thank you so much! Day 174 for me.

  6. Hi Lotta
    I absolutely adore your blog so yes- still reading xxx

  7. You have helped me more than I can put into words! Just finished your book and I was so sorry to get to the last page. I hurried to get to your blog hoping you would still be there. It is 3 weeks and 2 days for me. Thank you, thank you for writing your words and feelings for all who can relate. Mrs S going without;)

  8. I just found this via your book that I just completed reading. Thank you very much it was so witty and inspiring to read I appreciate you. I have never read a Blog before if I intend to get yours and see what you been up to and read a few others it seems like it could be very helpful.

  9. Well I've dropped by

    I don't post much myself - although largely the last few months since I've been ill and housebound there's not a lot to say really anyways.

    Whatever with the blog you were a great source of inspiration to me when I found your blog and you've helped so many people - well done. I'm 14 years sober in a couple of weeks time - that seems unbelievable frankly. Also amazing is that I face all the current stuff without drink.

  10. pasadenaray1 instagramMay 7, 2018 at 12:54 AM

    yep, still reading . thanks for taking the time to post up.
    Annapolis Md

  11. I really appreciate your hard work to inspire a lot of people to get sobriety via blogging.

  12. I'm about 3+ weeks in. You have helped inspire me to look for reasons to NOT drink. My dad is a recovering alcoholic 8+ years sober so drinking is in my genes. I have type 1 diabetes so you have quite possibly helped save my life. I'm a heavy (almost) every night drinker. I don't usually get sick but I spin. I even drink when I'm sick and I say, "it's an excuse for hot toddies". I've lied to myself for years about the amount I drink. I say 1-3 drinks, maybe 4 but in reality all of my drinks are at least doubles or full glasses of wine so in reality it's 2-8 drinks per night. As a result I'm WAY overweight, never have energy and always have a feeling of malaise and high anxiety, and depression which shows itself mainly through uncontrolled rage. So I want to Thank you for your realness and inspiration to keep going. Peace and love from the US.

  13. Oh my!! I just finishing reading Mrs D is going without.
    Your book has helped me on my journey. There were so many things I have taken away.
    But I literally dropped the phone and your second Kaspar is spelt the same away that my son Kaspar is spelt.
    I know it must be strange that it just feel like another sign I am on the right journey (day53)
    I am grateful you recently wrote this blog entry. It made me happy to know that you are still sober.
    And it is so true the definition of an alcoholic in the twenty first century is different to what it used to be.
    Thank you for helping me on my sober journey.

  14. Hi, I’m currently half way through your book and absolutely love it! I can relate to lots of your previous drinking behaviours! I’m on day 1 (again) after several attempts to get sober, the most recent one being 3 months! Thanks for sharing your story! Congrats on your sobriety!

  15. Thank you so much for sharing this. Really inspiring.

  16. I read your first year of blog posts and am nearly at the end of your first book now. You've really inspired me - our drinking habits were quite different, but at the end of the day a lot of the feelings and reasoning is the same. I'm on Day 12. Thank you :)

  17. Feeling very inspired. Day one without any alcohol....Thank you so much x

  18. Shannon from TexasJune 13, 2018 at 3:59 AM

    I just found your blog. You are truly inspiring. You have accomplished so much!

  19. I just found you by way of your book. I started it yesterday and then found myself later in the day (3:00 or so is my seesaw tipping moment) thinking about settling in that evening with a nice glass of wine to read your book. Then I realized how crazy that was! 6/12/18 was my first day without drinking in a long time...feeling strong and very hopeful.

  20. Really Inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing

  21. Found you at the 9 weeks sober blog because that is where I am right now. You just started 6 years earlier than me. So I'm catching up on your blog and will be looking at Twitter and Facebook! So funny how so many of our stories are the same. Thank you for having the courage to share your story for us to read and take encouragement from! AA is for some people. But there are a lot of us that just need to know that if some else could do it so can we!!

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