Friday, June 29, 2018

Self-care while being busy

Well! Be careful what you wish for. After spending quite a few weeks moaning about how bored and underutilised I was feeling...about how my confidence was low because I hadn't worked outside of the house (like, in an actual office with other people and stuff) for over 8 years.. about how I needed to get a job but didn't know what I wanted to do... well... I went and got a job!

It's a nice re-entry into the workforce.. a part-time, temporary contract (26 hours a week for 3 months). Doing writing and communications stuff for a big health organisation. So it's using my skills but also teaching me new things.. and now all my bored and insecure complaints have flown out the window and BAM! I'm super busy.

I'm getting up and out of the house four mornings a week and driving into a busy workplace. I've had a shit-ton to learn, my brain is full of a million details. I've been stressed, stimulated, frustrated, satisfied.. but most of all - busy!

It's been great on many levels. I've reminded myself that I'm capable and hard-working and efficient and have a lot to offer. And I've reminded myself that I work well with others and enjoy meeting new people.

But it's also been a big adjustment in terms of my schedule, demands on my time, tiredness levels and self care. Suddenly I'm that person who is juggling a million things and feeling rushed a lot of the time. The meals at home aren't quite up to the same standard. Emails are taking a bit longer to respond to and some of my writing deadlines are being pushed out.

It's quite good actually because I'm being reminded that it does take more of an effort to look after yourself and make good choices when you're stretched. When you're super-busy it's easier to just grab that quick snack that isn't fully healthy, rather than take the time to chop some veggies. It's easier to skip your yoga class because you are tired.

My sobriety is rock-solid, but some of my addictive behaviours around food have crept back in. But it's ok.. I'm very aware of this and am 1) first and foremost and most importantly treating myself with great compassion and kindness, recognising that I am tired and busy and a human being with flaws and all of that is ok and understandable and 2) trying hard to keep a focus on good self-care routines knowing that although they take more effort when you're tired.. they are worth it!

It helps that I have an end date for this contract so can push through knowing that I'll be back to a more cruisey routine soon enough. But then of course I'll probably start complaining about being bored again and worrying about what job I'm going to do! Ha ha. Hopefully soon enough - in the next year or two - I'll find the perfect thing that will keep me stimulated and busy (but not too busy) and allow me to look after myself and my family as well.

Life is a journey with twists and turns! And I'm happily bumping along for the ride. One sober foot in front of the other.. facing each day with a clear head and honest intention. And that's all any of us can do.

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. Mrs D, Thank you for the great post and I wish you the best on leading a life towards sobriety. I was also an alcohol addict for almost 5 years and couldn't go a day without drinking. It was too tough for me as i lost my job because of my addiction. I went to Rehab South Florida which helped me pave my path to sobriety.

    I have a great job as a marketing assistant now and i have taken up music lessons which keeps me busy all day. I have been sober for almost 3 years now and living a great life.

  2. I love the last paragraph, too!
    I think a balanced life isn’t possible anyway!

  3. Love this post!
    I agree! That last paragraph is full of wisdom!

  4. Good for you for going after what you want! Good for you for also realizing it’s not always smooth sailing, and it’s important to remember to treat ourselves with kindness & compassion.

  5. Really enjoying reading this blog. I wouldn't call myself an alcoholic. However, I can never just stop at 1. I am all or nothing and unfortunately I am realising - I need to be 'nothing'! I wanted to ask, how do you holiday without alcohol. For me, I am petrified of flying so alcohol has always been my crutch, starting at the airport. I am travelling from the UK - Australia (south Australia - wine heaven!) The thought of going on a month long holiday booze free is actually rather terrifying. Not to mention the mammoth flight with a three year old! Any tips would be great! I am thinking anti anxiety pills from the doctor but we are stopping in Singapore for a week (I believe they are rather strict when it comes to these type of drugs)
    With Love

    1. Look up 'The Sober School' from Kate Bee and her 6 week course 'Getting Unstuck'. It's excellent. I'm just at the end of my first 6 weeks and looking forward to the rest of my life!

  6. Mrs D, I have just finished your first book and am so impressed by your honesty and willingness to put it all out there. Alcohol isn't my problem, food is. Parts of your book still resonated with me - using alcohol instead of feeling emotion (without realising it), you gave me my own 'a-ha' moment. Binge eating crap food was my way of getting through some pretty shit times, mindlessly. Looking back I can see that now. I had got into a bad cycle and am trying to break it now. It is pretty hard, last night I just wanted to eat something sweet - I went to the grocery shop and, no word of a lie, stood in the confectionery aisle for about 20 minutes and must have picked up and put back down different king size blocks of chocolate. I ended up buying a small bar of sugar free chocolate which was a big deal instead of coming home with something family size and eating the whole thing myself then feeling guilty about it. A small but significant step.

    Thank you for giving me my a-ha moment!

  7. Mrs D, just read your 2014 book and I can absolutely relate to your story as I had been there too.... average 1.5 bottles of wine daily... just personal and private drinking... not an alchoholic but struggling at 3 am with a with regrets and guilt (together with a dry throat and a full bladder)
    Your Without date was 26/9/2011 and mine was 22/9/2016 and no regrets after that.
    We could afford it - the wines, the strong young body to absorb the heavenly liquid food and the stuff is everywhere.. and no one stopping us except my spouse did make a record of the empties... And when I had to hide my bottles once a while, from counting, that was the realisation that I had a problem.
    Thanks for sharing your experience and it reinforces my decision to quit totally...
    To me, drinking is a habit and a personal choice.
    Alcohol and you.... a very personal relationship.

  8. Just finished your first book during the first 16 days of my sobriety. Thank you for being my absent partner in getting this going.

  9. I have just started reading your book and as a former alcoholic I can relate to it.

    I have an addiction to cheese and chocolate but I am trying to curb these addictions.

    May the Lord bless you in your sobriety.