I just wrote a post on my other blog - Mrs D Is Going Within - which summarises where I am at right now.
I know it seems a bit weird to have two blogs on the go but this original blog was started to help me get sober (which it certainly did!) and I keep it up to stay on top of my recovery and keep communicating with people who are also trying to get sober.
The new blog I started for the same specific purpose.. to use it as a motivation tool with something I am attempting to do. In this case it is my attempt to develop a mindfulness/meditation practice. In other words, to really 'go within' now that the hard work of removing alcohol from my life is done.
The new blog really helps keep me motivated to keep researching / investigating / attempting mindfulness & meditation, and although my work in this area has been very stop-start it is slowly bedding in. I love it. I love, love, love it. It is unbelievably affective. Trust me on this. All the hype is true. It is amazingly helpful.
Lately I've been feeling really good and strong in my sobriety. Very much of the attitude - 'what am I actually missing out on?' by not drinking alcohol. That was one of the most overwhelming feelings when I first stopped drinking.. that I would be missing out. But for Pete's sake.. what am I missing out on?
I can socialise. I can have fun. I can go to concerts and be really moved by the music. I can have lunch with my girlfriends and connect with that fabulous female energy that fuels every girls soul. I can communicate, care for and co-exist with my husband and sons authentically and brilliantly. I can attend dinner parties and go to restaurants enjoying every morsel of food and banter. I can spend time with myself and not go crazy.
I can be still. Finally. I can be still.
Gosh I just typed that and got teary. This is obviously a major major thing for me. Stillness.
I suppose boozing is the polar opposite to stillness isn't it? Maybe this is what I've been avoiding for my entire adult life. It's taken me four years of sobriety to get to this place where stillness is becoming the most important and restorative factor in my life.
Stillness. Finally, I can be still.
Love, Mrs D xxx