Tuesday, July 22, 2014

It's a REVOLUTION!!!!

There are SOOOOOOOO many people who are getting sober around me right now! Have a look at all the comments on my last few posts… there are people on day 6, day 1, day 44, day 21. Someone's heading into week six, someone's reached 4 1/2 months, someone else at 3 years. And on my Facebook page there are people proudly exclaiming they're at day 16 or day 43.. and privately in emails many, many people are still reaching out to let me know they are giving this sober living thing a go too.

Yes!!!!!!!!!!

We are the revolution!!!! We are the ones saying 'you know what.. this shit isn't as ordinary as milk and bread (although it's sold in our supermarkets as if it is).. this shit is destructive and it's bringing me down.. I'M TAKING IT AWAY'.

That's what we're doing folks.. we are taking that shitty alcohol out of our lives, we are gritting our teeth through the rough early adjustment phases, we are retraining our brains to see alcohol for the shit it is (and not the golden ticket to fun) and we are becoming fully alive, fully emotional, fully realised human beings.

Raw. Real. Recovered.

I am LOVING all the interactions that are going on in the comments section on here.. all the lovely support and encouragement and togetherness. I am really loving it and please hang in there because I know this blog is limited in what it can offer all of us but we are very close to launching the new site that will be so much more interactive and personalized for each of you. It will be free and you can create an anonymous profile if you like. I'll be posting and commenting and interacting daily to keep us all together and engaged. It's going to be GREAT and even if we need to tweak the design as the weeks go by we'll do that so that all of us here in the online recovery community are happy (and that means you too lovely lurker who is reading but hasn't participated yet).

I've just spent the morning as parent helper at my Little Guy's kindergarten. Three and a half hours of playdoh and dress-ups and storybooks and finger painting. I looked into all the little 4-year-old faces around me and thought that these kids are going to grow up in a society that has shifted it's approach to alcohol. I'm convinced they're going to grow up in a society that is far more open & honest about the dark side of alcohol. A society where it is common, totally acceptable and not at all shameful for people to admit they don't drink alcohol because they can't control it.

One by one we are helping create that society.

Love, Mrs D xxx

81 comments:

  1. Yay! You've started something you once thought was seemingly small and private and just for you - and have become part of something very big. You have stopped many many people like me in our tracks as we have heard your story (for me it was National Radio) and thought - "oh fuck, that's me she's talking about". I can't wait for your site. I did Hello Sunday Morning once and loved what it had to offer me - but in the long term obviously it can't work for people like us because we shouldn't really be given to opportunity to start again. :). I am looking forward to place to make friends and interact where its about a whole of life choice. My partner and I will come and see you at your book launch on Thursday night. I wanted her in particular to hear from you so she can get the perspective of where all my thinking is coming from (she is very supportive). Anyway, go you - you are part of something huge and amazing, and so many of us want to thank you for that. xx

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  2. Thank you so much Mrs D. I needed to hear something fantastically reinforcing on this my second day. And that sure did it for me. You rock!!

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    1. Keep going its so worth it. Second day us ahuge milestone. It means you are achieving. You go girl. We are all here doing it together.

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    2. I'm one of the so- called lurkers:-) and on day 2.. I've been following Mrs. D, lurking for months now. Mrs.D, thanks for putting yourself out there creating the movement! I thought I was only one of few with an alcohol problem. Know I know many other women struggle too.

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    3. Prudence I am day two as well. This is not my first time to try this but I hope it is my last.

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    4. Wow, day 2 for me too! This is my third try and I'm determined for it to be my last. Like Mrs. D I'm an educated, highly functioning wife and mother and I really thought that I was the only one dealing with my secret alcoholic (yes I'll just say that's what I am) life. Thank you all so much, it's amazing to know that I'm not alone- it gives me so much hope and determination.

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  3. What an encouraging post. I am looking forward to the new website!
    -Sarah

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  4. Proud of you as always. I am on Day 22 (Dry July) and at South Brighton Library with a chai latte. Have had a great month. Haven't missed alcohol at all. You have definitely thrown a curvy one into this family of ours. With love xxx

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    1. I also am on Day 22 (Dry July) and have not missed it at all either! I am planning on keeping it going after the end of July. Have lost 2 kgs as well!

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  5. It's certainly nice to be coming along on this revolution Mrs D. Woop Woop!!

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  6. Ditto I'm on day 22 Dry Juy as well and it's my birthday today as we'll. My 1st birthday without alcohol in 13 years since having my babies! ! Well done to all of us xx

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  7. Love it..... the sobriety revolution.......sobriety is sexy, let's bring it back! I'm not quiet there yet but have cut down massively since February. First because I wanted to see if I could, then to raise money for charity, then because I felt sooo much better. I've gone from daily slugger of 1 (or more) bottles of wine each evening at home (more when I socialised at the weekends) to one night a fortnight of still too much drinking. I'm feeling guilty about this and struggling with "fuck it" and justifying it on social occasions with my girlfriends, traditionally very boozy events. I'll work through that though with tips from this site and the supportive community.

    Your story really hit true for me. I'm 41 and have been at it now for 26 years! I have all the usual material and social markers of someone who is "functioning", husband, family, friends, career, tertiary education, house and plan for the future. Cutting back hasn't been quick, years of knowing I needed to but denying it, being half here consciously and neglecting my personal relationships, including myself.

    It wasn't easy but I started with an evening off each week, Tuesday as it seemed easier to ignore wine at the supermarket then than on Monday, then Wednesday. After a few weeks it was easy and I pledged to give the money I would have spent from Monday to Thursday on wine over a month to charity. It was $250 that was a shock and the first time I've counted the $ cost of my addiction. The second month I decided to give up all together and that doubled!!!!!! I felt so good and motivated. I have kept the no wine Sunday to Thursday going now for almost 5 months and know I will never return to daily drinking. My goal is to see in the next month if I can have two glasses and stop on a Friday or Saturday night. If I cannot then I will have to opt to be free of alcohol. I think I already know that I will feel so much better to just remove it from my life but I have to experience this lesson. I'm still caught in the delusion! Feeling much more certain though now that I can rely on myself to do the best for me...rather than leaving it to the unreliable me of 5 month ago.

    Thank you Mrs D and community for your encouragement. I'm enjoying reading about your own journey and the experiences shared by others. These are a huge motivation and support. So good on you for bringing sobriety back for so many xxx

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    1. We all relate to the senseless Fuck IT I mean who can argue with that ? We'll I cam across a post recently on one of the side Bloggers on this site and she has a comment to counteract this and it is that you imagine the alcohol side of you as a separate person that looks sinister like a wolf and you say "fuck you Wolfe". So every time I find myself saying oh Fuck it - I instantly reply back
      No Fuck You Wolfie!!! And it works. Hope this helps

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    2. Thank you, ye I aw other people talking about battling with that little voice too. I'll try that and let you know how it goes :)

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    3. meant yes I saw...funny keys!

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  8. Actually I mean.........good on all of us for bringing it back for ourselves with support from each other!

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  9. Keep up all the fantasric work people. I am into day not sure. But its been weeks. Maybe even a month. I have even gone out for two meals. And survived. Knowing I have support is crucial to me. Knowing I can give support bavk is great. Thank you for making thisoso public so accesdable. .

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  10. Mrs D, what you've created is amazing. Coming out was inspired. Thank you.
    Talking of inspired, does anyone have any non alcoholic punch recipes?? Easy to make. I have a 50th to go to Saturday.

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  11. Ooh...tried a ne herbal tea last night which I think could be blinged up to make a great mocktail. Red Seal's green tea with berry. I reckon with soda water/lemonade/ ginger ale it could be seriously YUM!

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  12. not to mention a society where it is simply just fine to not drink alcohol. No questions asked, it's just the norm.

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  13. Awesome post Mrs D :) And the Beatles song 'Revolution' is singing in my head ;) xx
    F**k it - I'm posting it up :D
    http://youtu.be/KrkwgTBrW78

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  14. There is definitely a shift going on. I hope being sober becomes cool. I'm on day 23 and feeling so much better. I'd like to be able to have one or two glasses on Fri or Sat nights and stop. If I can do that great. If I get carried away then I know I need to give it up completely. Love this blog and hope the kids of tomorrow are living in a society where we ease up or give up on the drink. Mrs M :-)

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  15. Day 24 for me and its a wonderful feeling! Im floating on that lovely pink cloud u talk about. Im more intouch with myself. U know that tingly feeling we all crave whn we drink well that doesnt even come close 2 how i feel being sober, im pumped! Im never going back to that dark place my addiction took me to, im living in the beautiful light of sobriety called life :) loving this blog, thank u mrs d u have started sumthing amazing :)

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  16. I'm loving this blog so am very excited about your new website Mrs D, very much looking forward to being part of that. I have a 50th on Saturday also Breezi's Spirit, in fact I have 3 over 4 weeks. I don't mind plain old soda water but I hope no one minds me making cups of tea - my happy new addiction! I like that I won't be dependent on a sober driver and free to come and go as I please. Have a great party :)

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  17. Struggling. .... Last 2 nights had a bottle of wine each night. I sooo wanted to be good and not have any! Help please! I want to be like you all out there. I'm appalled and ashamed at myself...

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    1. Try again tomorrow and don't be too hard on yourself :). I had to struggle past the supermarket without pulling in to buy wine for awhile each night. Sometimes I managed to do it but then I'd get caught by the local shop! Do what you need to do. I changed my way home till it was a habit not to buy wine on a Tuesday, then Wednesday etc. Now it is only a challenge on Friday and Saturdays, the rest of the week is automatically sober now. 5 months ago that would have been unthinkable for me.

      You can do it.....be kind to yourself

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    2. Hey been there beating myself up but it's time to move onwards and upwards. No more shame no more negative self talk just one day at a time and all positive thoughts and you can do it. Maybe think forward to the end of the night and being able to look yourself in the mirror and feel proud of yourself. Say positive encouraging things to yourself as if you were coaching or supporting a child or friend. Just do it!! Good luck

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    3. A longtime overdueJuly 22, 2014 at 10:04 PM

      Go easy on yourself, this isn't the easy path. But it is the necessary one. I still want to drink a bottle of wine each night (mostly sober so far for Dry July). But what I now want more is the clear head, the good night's sleep, the guilt free conscience, the clarity of thought and chuffness with myself for going without for another day. Put another way, I got sick of falling asleep on the couch, another long list of jobs still not done, puking after a weekend night on it, wasted time recovering, the hangovers, the weekday morning fuzz, the tired head because I had woken in the night....the battle in my head, which is where I think Mrs D nails it, that ongoing conflict of the brain, I want it but I shouldn't, with the want it winning out. Keep on this blog, go right back to the start of Mrs D's entries in her early days and work your way from there. That is what I am doing. One day at a time, that is all you can do and you can do it. Good luck girlfriend.

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    4. Thank you so much to all who have reached out to me and encouraged me. I will start again today and re read Mrs D s early posts. It was awesomes to read your supportive messages on my iPad when I woke this morning. I love you all x

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    5. As Mrs d says you are not alone you are not alone you are not alone. Why don't you sign in with a nickname so we can support you. Just choose name/URL as your option and fill in nickname on first line. Check in after work instead of having a wine! See u tonite!! Chatting online is a great solution.

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    6. Hey you how are you going? Day 1?

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    7. Hi I'm doing well . Nothing tonight and don't feel like anything. Keep in touch

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    8. Thanks Squizzi :)

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    9. Hey Noelle you have a name! Well done don't forget to smile at yourself tonight in the mirror and praise you for doing day one! Yah!! Check in tomorrow.

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    10. Proud of myself. Yay day 2 A/ F! I smiled a lot today.! Felt better.

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    11. Yay Noelle. Smiling for you to.

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  18. I'm also on Day 22... Good ol Dry July was a good reason to set forth on this crazy but fantastic journey but I so hope I can sustain this. So loving this blog Mrs D! Whenever I hear you talk, or read your blog, you are telling my story too! I'm so relieved I'm not on my own. Looking forward to taking part in the new forum after lurking around for the past few weeks! Here's to all the sober sisters and brothers that are living life to the full, and taking part in this revolution xx

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  19. Day 29 after a period of alcohol use after 4 years sober. I felt I was doomed to have alcohol in my life, I felt alone and not able to talk with someone who would make sense to me. AA just didn't seem for me (male and shameful - based on tv representations you understand!). The online community has been an unexpected gift - my return to sobriety has been easy and joyous - Lotta you have introduced us to a community that clearly meets the needs of many. We are not alone, we can share and support, we make sense to each other. Oh it's a good life isn't it?!

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  20. Well I had my first really shitty day today due to a stressful situation in the business and I normally head to the supermarket with the "fuck it" attitude but do you know what I didn't. Why? I just kept thinking about how mrs d has shared her occasional shitty days despite a great life and positive attitude and I thought actually it is ok this is normal it's ok to feel shitty and pissed off with people or situations that ruin an otherwise happy day. So I let the emotions happen did some cleaning to keep me busy and productive and ate a shitload of carbs... But no wine. Score one to me.. fuck you Wolfie! Apologies for the language I am actually normally a restrained professional but need to kick this thing to the curb and it feels great to show him who's boss around here!! Thank you Mrs D for your honesty if I hadn't read your truths I would have felt like a loser and reached for the wine.... Like so many times before

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    1. Fantastic....I'm definitely using that trick next time the F it visits. Well done you kept Wolfie in place

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    2. Well done, it's so normal to feel shitty at times. I'm with you on the carb thing though, that's a bugger.

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    3. Do you think that the craving for carbs is due to the lesser carb calories we're not guzzling?

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  21. A longtime overdueJuly 22, 2014 at 10:11 PM

    Mrs D, my children were a big driver and my nieces and nephews. We all do not want them making the same mistakes we did. The Brainwave Trust offers convincing science to persuade you that alcohol before 20 is a bad idea, if nothing else from a purely physiological point of view. Alcohol at an early age can set you up to be in the pickle we find ourselves in. Addicted. I don't want my daughter drinking up a storm, getting up to the mischief I did and I don't want my sons on the other side of the mischief with my friend's daughters because alcohol made them all susceptible to looser values than those we abide in the cold light of day.

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  22. Haha the lovely lurkers.... You got it .... But we are lurking for a reason

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  23. I just listened to your Bubble Hour talk while running and driving into work. It was just lovely. I especially liked the part about listening to your shadowy former self from 3 years ago. That part just really got me. I often hear this little voice in my head that reassures or encourages or just flat out tells me the next right thing to do. I'd never considered that to be my former self, and I just think there's something so powerful about that. Just really well done on the talk and in this post and everywhere.

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  24. I LOVE THIS POST! 23 days sober... would have been 37 days sober but I went to a beach vacation after being sober for only 2 weeks. Thought I could "handle it" and have "just a few." Nope. I can't go back. And now I know that, and it's more than okay. With the help of posts like this, I love love love my sober life... I am not surviving sobriety, I am thriving. Yes there are very tough moments. But I read read read, I journal, I reach out, and know I am not alone. I also know I deserve better, and my 6 year old son deserves a happy mom not passed out every night from her 1 1/2 bottles of wine.

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  25. I'm with you....

    My daughter just left secondary school here - she is 18 now. A while ago they had a day talking about drink and drugs and other stuff.... She was frankly appalled at some of the pupils reactions - "Alcoholics are all wife beaters" that kind of thing. She spoke to one of the heads of her year. She called me and asked me in to speak...

    I spent an hour just answering questions about what being an alcoholic was like, why and how I stopped etc.

    I only know that some of my daughters friends came up to her and said things like "How can your Dad have been an alcoholic?" etc. but I hope they got the message most alcoholics are normal people like you, in work, with a car and a house and a job but slowly losing it all due to the booze but more than anything they are frightened people drinking because they know no other way. But there is another way - don't drink and figure out how to live life without needing booze to help you cope.

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  26. Mrs D,

    Let's hope that the same inroads can be made in our understanding of the damage that alcohol causes, as we have made with tobacco. I agree with you, I feel a revolution coming also.

    Viva us!

    Lee

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  27. Love it! Can't wait for the new website. You are a gift.

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  28. Day 23 sober! Yay!!!! Mrs D, your timing coming into my life was perfect! My husband is so supportive and I can see a happier future together. I know they don't matter....but how do I handle the mockers? My father wanting to know 'Why do you keep telling me you are not drinking. Are you trying to convince yourself'?' Well I'm not. I feel strong being sober.(he has tried to control me all his life) Then I have the brothers that look at me as if I have two heads! I have a girlfriend that said -do dry July and then see how you go. Other family that are taking a sweepstake of when I will drink again- REALLY.!!! (said in jest) but still hurts. They all don't understand this happy-go-luck,bubbly and bouncy me has woken up and wants to live authentic. I wish the attitude around me will change soon. In the meantime do I try and convince this lot or button it? And once again thank you, thank you, thank you Lotta.

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    1. Wow, congratulations on being day 23. Awesome. Hang in there against all the crap coming your way. I think it says more about them and their drinking status than it does you. I don't know why but I think some people get really threatened when we stop drinking. I still haven't told some key people in my life yet and I am day 24. Use your energy to love and support yourself rather than expending it on trying to convince them of anything. Maybe say I'm sorry you don't feel you can support me but I am doing it and I am proud of myself. Essentially making the choice to be alcohol free is all about us, what we want and need for ourselves and that is a wonderful thing to do. You don't owe anyone anything here, just yourself. You don't have to defend or justify. And when we do things just for ourselves like this incredible things can happen we didn't see coming. Case in point, Mrs D and her online outlet and just how that has help to support, motivate and inspire others. You have already proven how strong you can be - you made this decision and you are doing it. Day 23 baby. GO YOU!! Believe in yourself, that's all that matters. The other stuff will happen in time.

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    2. Oops, meant to add that a really nice help you feel good book to read is Heart Thoughts by Louise Hay. Easy reading and full of ways to self support and self love with easy affirmations.

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  29. Day 4 for me!
    The fog has started to lift but have had terrrible headaches which really annoys me, but to be expected considering what I have put my body thru for years.
    I just did this presentation and my business partner could not beleive the difference, she said I was on fire!! I must admit I felt really alert and did not struggle to find the right words when asked a question, yeah me! (really working on the positive voice)
    Enjoying feeling more present especially with my children, I know I am going to have rough days but will cross that bridge when I come to it, for now, I have plans in place for different senarios and just taking one step at a time to living my life sober.
    Getting off to bed earlier to and finally starting to sleep better, bliss
    Thanks for all your positive comments, it really helps
    xx

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  30. Not sure if you would find this helpful but someone was talking about cravings and I picked up somewhere that the reason people abstaining from alcohol crave sweet things is due to the alcohol being absent. However apparently the best thing you can do to kill off those cravings earlier is to kill the sugar. Going sugar free completely destroys the cravings. It takes about 3 days. I followed this and it worked really well for me. It means not only sugar free but anything loaded with sugar natural or not so this includes avoiding fruit, yoghurt, juice etc, but it is really effective and I guess short term. Of course the added bonus is the weight loss which is an Added incentive to keep on going.

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    1. Cutting the sugar is good. I find one of my triggers is being hungry, walking into the kitchen to start cooking, and first step was pour a glass of wine. That till one week ago. Finding it okay now, but I do make myself a small carby snack (e.g. one slice bread and cheese) about an hour before my usual "wine time". Helps take the edge of any puckishness I might be mixing up with cravings. I just have fewer carbs with my meal to compensate. Maybe I can drop this habit long-term, but I'm finding that, and pouring a glass of soda water with about 3 ml sugar-free lime cordial really helpful in the meantime.

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  31. NolongerdrinkingJuly 23, 2014 at 8:39 PM

    Isn't it fantastic thinking about the amount of alcohol still sitting on shelves rather than having been guzzled by us! Can't wait for the new website either Mrs D - hopefully this will be a tipping point for so many more out there who are desperate to end the misery alcohol is causing them

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    1. Yea, gives Dry July quite a different meaning. Would love to know if the shops are seeing a difference in the bottom line. And how many people start with DJ, and like me, have decided to make this a life change? For me, it gave me an excuse to change a behaviour I knew was long overdue but I didn't know how to "come out". Having got on the wagon I now intend to stay there!

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    2. Yep I was out for dinner and the waitress at the restaurant said their turnover was way down even though they were fully booked but because of dry July. Amazing. I think it is fantastic the whole dry July concept. It gives people a chance to try it without the peer pressure. Rediculous isn't it we aren't exactly in high school!!! How come when people give up smoking they get no end of support? Mind you 30 years ago it may not have been the same. Now is the time for the revolution as mrs D says!!! Here's hoping in 30 years our kids won't be in a culture where drinking to excess is fine. Here's hoping over drinking will be frowned on like smoking is now. Let's face it we are bombarded with images of cool beautiful 20 something's struggling down the street arm in arm looking happy and above all popular and cool. Everyone wants to be them. But flash forward 20 or 30 years and those now 50 year olds staggering down the street arm in arm most likely a with a man instead of single girlfriends or with girlfriends tottering beside you - not such a pretty picture is it? I think I am happy to say I had a really good time in my first half of my life and now as a 47 year old married woman with 3 kids I am happy to say I have matured graciously and am now going to live out the second part of my life with respect, fun and great memorable moments that don't involve alcohol.

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  32. 23 days for me and every evening I check this site for inspiration and strength. Started out thinking that I would get back into it as a lesser drinker but am now thinking that abstinance is the only way for me. Still have to really work on my thoughts regarding missing out on the fun cos I wont be drinking at this or that in the future. Allan Carrs book is helping me with that and so are all of you, thanks.

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  33. I know what you mean but I've noticed in the past few days that's easing a little, I'm now thinking okay what can I drink instead. I think each successful event makes it easier,

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  34. Thanks for that encouragement, havn't really had any events yet but there are some in the pipeline. Working in a licenced premises has been my downfall and a worry each time I work, generous work colleagues are kind but it makes it hard, what with the old drinking habits. This blog is my night time reading for the moment, so not fingers crossed for me but positive attitude.

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  35. positive attitude and self belief, can't go anywhere without it. Stay tough Mrs A.

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  36. I just last night finished reading your book. I found it completely by chance last Friday night. I am doing Dry July, Day 24 now, and Friday nights are by far the worst nights for me. I have that horrible flat feeling you describe so well. I feel like, I have finished a whole week of work - and there is no reward for me. Last Friday night my husband had 5pm work drinks and I didn't want to go, so instead I wandered around shops I hate (The Warehouse!!) feeling very alone ... and randomly found your book. Parts of it are as though I have written them myself. I am scared for the end of Dry July to come now because although I like being sober and am doing really well, I've also been fantasising about wine and I don't know if I will be able to continue being sober without the committment of Dry July to keep me going :-(

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    1. So maybe don't focus too much on end of July but more on what you are doing right now and how you are feeling about it and yourself. Be proud of yourself and allow end of July to come and go, after all it's actually only a matter of 24 hours from July to August, small moment in time. Keep it real. Hang in there.

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    2. Thank you for your reply. You are right - I should just try and focus more on the Now. I also agree with what you have written below. Dry July is a way for me to start being sober and avoiding the judgement of others. I still get the "I can't believe you're not drinking! You love drinking!" comments though. I am known in my group of friends as (one of) The Drinkers. So me quietly slipping into August, without the celebratory boozy post-Dry-July weekend will be quite the shock to some of my group. Doesn't help that the 1st of August has an event - birthday drinks for my Very Boozy Friend and usual partner-in-wine-crime!

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    3. Aaahhhhhhhhhhh, mighty challenge coming up. And no doubt the inner alcohol voice will say just have one..................... you know, it's okay to acknowledge whats going on for you - there is real power in doing it. Could you tell your friends they are right, you do love wine but maybe not in a healthy way any longer and that's why you are making changes. At your party drink what you like and have it in a wine glass. I've ordered a lemon lime and bitters in a wine flute [the bar lady raised her eyebrows but that was it]. I wish you lots of courage [look deep cos it's there] and laughter[always a good tool to have in the emotional coping box]. And hey, I have yet to tell a friend of mine I've stopped. Keep posting to.

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    4. Thanks :-) I have a friend who is a non-drinker and he gave me a good tip ... just volunteer to drive. That way no one can complain too much and there is also a reason to not drink. So I will give that a go. Along with the 24 hour focus - instead of thinking of days/weeks/months looming ahead of me ... I'm feeling a bit more confident.

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  37. The problem with dry July is people do it has a bit of fun, then as soon as it is over have a weekend of massive bingeing. This is particularly common among the young.

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  38. that's probably quite true for some people but I also think there are a lot of people who are using dry July as a safe place to begin not drinking, saving face so to speak. It also gives them time to get a grasp on what they are doing, what they want and where they want to head with it so by end of July they might have that next pool of strength to stick to it making this there new way of life.

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  39. I was browsing a shop window today looking at the coasters on display. One was " wine is to women like duct tape is to men, it solves everything". Okay it is a little funny but actually it's not really. Drinking really does have this air of fun, easy, and just a bit of a joke. But it's just not true. With things like that trivialising drinking it makes it so much more socially acceptable to do and so weird and wrong to stop. You don't see things like that about smoking or heroin or P now.

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  40. Aaaaaah (pulls up comfy chair), what a relief to find you all!

    Just bought your book Mrs D as my self present for my birthday this Sunday (turning forty one) off the medicinal looney juice for 3 days now.

    Gads do I feel like a chump.

    Have been trying to moderate for a while now with varying success. Would have gone cold turkey weeks ago if I hadn't consulted Dr Google, heard the thundering hooves of the horses approaching, and decided I was that person who would have seizures etc....needless to say I haven't noticed a thing save for not being drunk at all. I hear that can be the reality for people. I'm not minimising the risk. Letting that fear keep me boozing was a mistake as I look back with less bloodshot 20/20 vision to a WHOLE three days ago!

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  41. No your right drinking is no different to any other drug, i hate seeing things like that its glorifying and encouraging the drinking culture.

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  42. Yep I was out for dinner and the waitress at the restaurant said their turnover was way down even though they were fully booked but because of dry July. Amazing. I think it is fantastic the whole dry July concept. It gives people a chance to try it without the peer pressure. Rediculous isn't it we aren't exactly in high school!!! How come when people give up smoking they get no end of support? Mind you 30 years ago it may not have been the same. Now is the time for the revolution as mrs D says!!! Here's hoping in 30 years our kids won't be in a culture where drinking to excess is fine. Here's hoping over drinking will be frowned on like smoking is now. Let's face it we are bombarded with images of cool beautiful 20 something's struggling down the street arm in arm looking happy and above all popular and cool. Everyone wants to be them. But flash forward 20 or 30 years and those now 50 year olds staggering down the street arm in arm most likely a with a man instead of single girlfriends or with girlfriends tottering beside you - not such a pretty picture is it? I think I am happy to say I had a really good time in my first half of my life and now as a 47 year old married woman with 3 kids I am happy to say I have matured graciously and am now going to live out the second part of my life with respect, fun and great memorable moments that don't involve alcohol.

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  43. Starting over again...Day two. So much shame and disgust. Yet when I read how much you love sobriety, I want that. Please keep reminding me how much better it is. All of you, I need to know that these early days are worth it. I could have a great life if I could beat this demon.

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  44. It is so worth it, today is another day. Put yesterday behind you and start afresh. Aim to have a sober day today. Dont beat your self up. Soberity rocks - hang in there.

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  45. Ms Penelope DroppedJuly 25, 2014 at 11:05 AM

    Just had to pop back with a nom de plume for my post above.

    I NEVER post on the internet anonymously-always use my real name....however I plan to join the new forum when it gets up and going and confessional I will be: honest and raw Mrs D styles!

    I figure my nearest and dearest have a right to disassociate from some of my more outrageous behaviour. Stuff like me doing "the fly" break dancing move (you know the one you busted out on the 'bop mat' at primary school) on the dance floor at the bar on my 39th birthday 'cos it would be HALARIOUS!! Well the crowd was laughing......

    I live in a provincial New Zealand town-it just ain't big enough to pull that shit!

    Anyhooo...Day 4 off the medicinal looney juice and thanks to Mrs D and all you lovely followers that is COOL by me!

    Cheers,
    Penelope Dropped (you can call me Penny)

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  46. Went out to movies last night to see Sex Tape with Cameron Diaz. Hilarious!! Hubbie being so supportive choosing to do alternative things with me on weekends instead of going to pub with his mates. So invited another couple selected partially on the fact that the girl barely drinks an wouldn't hassle me or question me. It was fine. W met for a drink and light nibble before movie and ordered a tomato juice seasoned. Still find I drink everything so much faster than everyone else. What's with that? Quite annoying, so now I'm sitting there wanting to order another thinking this is ridiculous it's not even wine and I'm having to sit patiently and wait for everyone to finish their drinks so we could order another round. Friggin tomato juice!!!! Anyway guess what! They'd never ordered another drink! I would have had 3 normally in that time frame. Now I analyse it I am thirsty all the time. As soon as I wake it's a cup of tea or two then move on to coffee, then move on to coke zero, then home and into evening drinks (normally some sort of diet soda combo non alcoholic of course!!). If I wasn't always needing to have a drink on hand maybe my alcohol intake wouldn't have got so out of hand? It's a bit like a chain smoker. I' was diagnosed last year as having a thyroid problem and one of the symptoms is a strong thirst and a desire for caffeinated sodas. Weird I know. So I thought it was that but I hear others on here commenting on drinking lots as well now they are alcohol free. And don't we all love our flavoured teas!! It's so great the selection. It's a novelty when I go to the supermarket. Instead of purusing the wine isle and selecting a couple of bottles I now linger in the tea isle trying out new ones I haven't sampled yet and picking up a couple of trusty staple ones too. Does anyone else have this issue with needing a drink in hand or on the go???

    Anyway survived the premovie drinks, the movie was great but then they wanted to go on for a drink afterwards and I was just soooo reluctant. So we didn't go and I could tell the other couple were disappointed by husband stood behind me and made some feeble excuse about us needing to get home. I tried to figure out what was going on in my head and said to him on the way home, I think I have only got to so much sober energy to be fun and chatty and interested socially and it's harder than it used to be so I think it takes
    More energy to do it and I think basically I was exhausted and thought I had done the night really successfully only to be asked to muster up some more sober fun energy and I couldn't ! Dumb ass eh? Weird, confusing but I guess it is what it is...

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    1. Hi Squizzi,
      Yep, I still like to have a drink in the hand. I still have my wine o'clock drink only it's usually my tipple of the moment cranberry juice and soda water. I'm having my first real social engagement is a mates 50th BBQ tonight.
      I think having a glass in hand [of whatever] is for confidence maybe, something to hide behind. You did well last night. Each step like that is a step forward. And a step forward is always good.

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  47. I'm like Oberlix I fell into the Calderón at birth and have the super powers for life. No need for the magic potion (that was my latest answer to the why aren't drinking question) 15 months clear loving the planet.

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