There's so much shitty pain everywhere all the time. I'm hearing of nasty in-laws hurting friends of mine, other people I know in floods of tears over interpersonal shit going down, other friends back drinking after long stints off, someone over here grieving their mother, someone over there grieving their lover, someone just discovering their husband is cheating - grief, betrayal, tensions, sadnesses, stresses...pain, pain everywhere.
IT'S HARD FUCKING WORK BEING A HUMAN BEING!!!!!!
Life is pain. But to deny that pain is suffering (or however the saying goes).
We have to feel the pain. Numbing it away DOESN'T WORK. It doesn't. Maybe in the sort term.. but not in any substantive way. We have to feel the pain. And if the pain is too awful to sit with then do something proper about it. See a doctor, see a therapist, make big changes in your life. Do something that will actually be beneficial in the long run.
But know that pain will come again. It always does. This is life. This is our crazy, messy, painful human life.
Sorry if I'm sounding a bit bossy and philosophical and waffly all at the same time. I'm just blurting this post out late on a Sunday night. I'm tired and I'm aware of all this stuff that is going on around me - I'm hearing it all via text messages and emails and the Members Feed at Living Sober.
I'm looking out my window at many, many houses in my neighbourhood and am so aware that so many of them are right now the vessels for human pain and suffering.
Life sucks shit sometimes. It blows. It hurts.
So what do we do? We look for the good. We revel in the minor triumphs. We focus on the lovely things. We take small steps in the right direction. We try to look after ourselves. We try to be brave and sit with the feelings. We know that emotions won't kill us. We know that things pass. We know that life has an ebb and flow and that pain comes in waves but so does happiness and contentment and ease. We hug our loved ones. We distract ourselves with music and novels and colouring-in books and gardening and TV and cooking and exercise and stuff that isn't about self-sabotage. We seek out the people that make us feel good, the people that we gel with, the people that care. We try to think positively or at least not repeat over and over the negative thoughts. We put our comfy pants on and crawl under a blanket on the sofa. We put the leash on the dog and go out for a walk. We look at the sky and we watch the clouds pass by. We imagine ourselves on a plane to exotic climates. We press on.
We have to.
Love, Mrs D xxx