Monday, August 15, 2016

Settled..

I am constantly gobsmacked at how possible it is to change habits. I went out three times last week to various social events and didn't for one second at any of them wish I was drinking. Other people were imbibing booze but not me.

Not drinking is just my new, ordinary norm.

See - habit changed! It is totally possible.

And the good news is I don't walk around feeling fatally flawed. I just walk around feeling normal, knowing that I don't touch alcohol because in the past it has proved to be impossible for me to control. So I took it away and now I live without it.

My brain has learned a new way of living and I have reshaped my reality.

Sometimes I wonder what the hell my life would look like if I hadn't gotten sober almost 5 years ago. I would be fascinated to see! What would I look like? What would I act like? What would I be thinking about? Would I have gravitated towards different people when we moved back to this city? Would I have a boozy social group? Would I be heavier? Have worse skin? Be more tired? Be more grumpy? Be more narrow in my thinking? Be more wound up?

Man it would be interesting to know. I'd love a little glimpse into my alternate reality (the one where I didn't get sober) but only for about 5 minutes then quick put me back into this reality!! I like this one a lot!!

So my 5-year soberversary is coming up in about 3 weeks and it falls on a Tuesday and I thought it would be nice to do something special that evening but Tuesday is my yoga class and I LOVE my yoga class so I'm not missing that (see how my life has changed ha ha!!).

So I thought maybe on the Monday night before I could put on a fancy dinner for the family to mark the fact that 5 years ago on that date I was in the middle of my last miserable binge. I could light candles and do three courses.. maybe a fancy prawn cocktail for starters.. some sort of yummy thai beef salad or some such for a main and then a lovely treaty pudding. Mocktails, and I make a little speech. Cool!

Then on the actual soberversary, the Tuesday, I will maybe take myself shopping to my favourite Recycled Boutique.. maybe ask if my sister is free for lunch..? Something fun like that.

Can't wait. Five years feels really substantial and cool, and settled. That is how I would sum up where I am right now - settled. Settled into this new reality, still working away on myself but in general just plugging along with life and not touching alcohol ever nor missing it one iota. Hooray.

Love, Mrs D xxx

13 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Oh my God, I am so glad I don't get to see where I would be, probably in the grave. Seriously. I have you in part to thank for that, my lovely fellow traveler. Who know, if I hadn't found you and your blog, the outcome could have been quite grim. Thank you for being part of my recovery and thank you for never saying, "You're doing it all wrong! Stop!" Instead you taught me through showing me. Congratulations to both of us on our upcoming five years next month.

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    1. Woah! Cool! Both of you 5 years next month!
      xo
      Wendy

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  3. I just love how positive you are about not drinking!
    It is very powerful for me to hear this message!
    xo
    Wendy

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  4. I'm loving all these positive affirmations from everyone - that sobriety is possible, it's cool, its fun and everyone can have it. xxx

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  5. So proud of you and happy 5 years of living what I call a 'renewed' life. I am close to one year, but honestly after "moderating" on and off for many years, I feel like I've been living without alcohol longer. Like anything else, it has become a part of my life (to not have alcohol in my life!). I am soo soo soo grateful that I allowed my courage to rise and realize my worth was more than a beverage. My life has never been more fulfilling and I have never felt so much freedom. I must say, I will pass on having a peek at where my old self would be right now. She was different in so many ways——instead, I will keep leaning forward with a bounce in my step that I am finally living as I intend.

    All the best to you Mrs. D! I am celebrating with you!
    xo

    D

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  6. I'm almost at 4 years! I look younger, I'm calmer, I'm actually a good wife and parent! Before, everything revolved around my ugly obsession with booze. God knows where I'd be now if I hadn't given up. I don't think I'll ever tire of reading about your ordinary everyday booze free life, cos we both know, it's anything but ordinary. It's awesome. It's such a pity that more people don't escape the grip.

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  7. Congratulations on another milestone! So exciting to hit these benchmarks and be satiated by what go you to this point.. Yoga- always Yoga, Namaste!

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  8. just learning this blogging thing- correct link above. :)

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  9. Really enjoyed reading this one. I'm in the early stages but already my life is being reshaped in very profound ways. Being a non-drinker is feeling more and more normal every day. Reading this gives me a window into the future. Thanks Mrs D!

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  10. Well done everyone

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  11. Even though life is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it.
    - Helen Keller

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  12. My first ever comment! It's day 2 feeling very shaky! Read half of your book yesterday. Now for the rest of my sober life.here goes!

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