I just got angry with 'Huffpostwomen' on Instagram because they posted a cartoon picture of a wine glass with the words 'Wine is always the answer' written in comical writing above it.
Usually I just let that shit pass by. But today I've just been writing a guest post for a female-focused rehab in the States and have been thinking about all the tender and brave women of the world who are working hard to remove alcohol from their lives. Women who are courageously navigating the rocky waters of early sobriety to reclaim their natural and powerful whole-ness.
I know these memes are ha ha funny jokes, they're all over the internet, all over Facebook, all over greeting cards, all over everywhere... and most of the time I just roll my eyes mentally and ignore them.. but today I just felt pissed off and had to leave a comment and respond.
"That's just bullshit." I wrote on Instagram under their dumb image, "Being a fully connected, fully emotional, fully empathic female is actually the answer".
And then I unfollowed their account.
It's not likely they'll care. They have ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY FIVE THOUSAND FOLLOWERS!!! Their Instagram account purports to be about 'What it means to be a woman'.. and yet they're telling their followers that wine is always the answer?????? For fucks sake!!!!! Are they living in the real world? Do they know what a massive problem alcohol addiction is - it cuts through every socio-economic group, class and race.
Do they really believe a brain bending liquid that mimics genuine positive feelings and depletes your brain of natural feel-good chemicals is the answer? Do they really believe a liquid drug that disconnects you from your family and own emotions is always the answer? Do they really believe every problem, worry, concern or fear will be resolved by a glass of wine? Give me a break.
Sorry but that is utter bullshit and that message is utter bullshit and it does nothing to advance the female race. And I just wish the managers of the 'Huffpostwomen' Instagram account were a little more sensitive and attuned to that fact.
Rant over.
Love, Mrs D xxx
You are wonderful. I just went on Instagram and left a comment too. We will be heard, the tide will turn, one by one....
ReplyDeleteGood for you. My son has Tourette Syndrome. A disorder that is also joked about everywhere online. And it's not a funny disorder at all to families who watch beautiful children struggle every hour. So you go!!! I absolutely loved your paragraph that starts with 'do they really'. Well articulated and a wonderful reminder to me, at day 3, about what alcohol actually does to us. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteYou, my dear, speak well for us all. Amen.
ReplyDeleteThank you! Im also sick of seeing all of these "empowering and glamorizing" cartoons.
ReplyDeleteRight on! Really, the messages that wine and chocolate are all we little gals need to keep up happy is ... well, it's INFURIATING. Makes me wonder, who wants to distract women from the fact that we are paid (averaging the global disparity) almost 50% less than men, that we are considered "fair game" on campuses and on our way to work, that most medical research is done on MEN because the researchers can't figure out how to work our menstrual cycles into the equation... who's been distracting us? The world? Or us?
ReplyDeleteRant away!
Hear, hear!
ReplyDeleteLove this Mrs D! I hate that shit too.
ReplyDeleteMrs D, I think you should write to Huffington Post about this and challenge them. I'd bet they'd publish what you have to say and that might be one more part of shifting the dialogue, as you are already working so well to do. Big hug to you! xo
ReplyDeletePowerful authentic truth in your response
ReplyDelete"Being a fully connected, fully emotional, fully empathic female is actually the answer".
Enough said!!
You said this perfectly!
ReplyDeletexo
Wendy
I love love love that you referred to the women forging their path in sobriety "tender and brave." Yes they are. ❤️
ReplyDeleteI completely agree. I wanted to add, those "silly jokes" could be SO detrimental to someone in early sobriety. We can be so fragile during that time, and that could be what sets someone off who is struggling and doesn't have the proper tools to use to help them. I'm not blaming a meme for one's actions, but it certainly doesn't help the stress and urges.
ReplyDeleteIt is crazy for everyone, whether addicted or not - these things are a part of brainwashing, part of the entrapment. I love your rant very very much.
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to lie, your post made me giggle, only because I have battled those same feelings over memes. I'm still new to sobriety so on the one hand I still find these memes funny but then I think about it and they're not so funny after all. My default is still "drinking solves everything" so it sometimes takes me a minute to regroup and remember that drinking really destroys everything. But I'm glad you said something because that's how I feel half the time as well. :)
ReplyDeleteIt is everywhere and I always laughed at the cards and jokes and on good days still do. But last night I was reading the May issue of Next and in Sarah Henry's editorial she writes "What is it they say about mothers? Powered by love, fuelled by coffee, sustained by wine? Or something like that. Cheers to the mums!" It kind of irked me in the same way.
ReplyDeleteNot to mention the latest trend of activities involving wine...wine and painting, wine and movies, wine and yoga! I was in the grocery store on Sat and they were having wine tastings. I saw so many people walking around shopping with wine glass in hand. It was so annoying!
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, more than likely they are 'catering' to the predominate view of what our culture considers the 'go to' for everything—>Just numb your issues, party on, drink to rid your sadness, your discontent, drink to have fun. You can't have fun without drinking right?
ReplyDeleteWe are beginning a new leadership that says 'living authentically, learning self-love and care and having the time of our lives (literally!), without the numbing, is truly the answer!!!'
Thrive on amazing ladies,
D
WOW, read this, Mrs. D!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/07/christina-huffington-today-cocaine-arianna-huffington_n_3719062.html
I love that this makes you angry as it really is a shame that our whole world is overtaken by the consumption of alcohol. Why is that as a society "we" think alcohol is the only way to celebrate, feel better... live. I'm only 20 days sober and have been trying for 3 years to get to this point, so I know how hard it is to see stuff like this online that just puts you back in temptation.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you, Mrs. D! It's why I wrote articles like these - just pisses me off sometimes.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/laura-ward/where-the-heck-is-the-glass-of-milk-emoji_b_9171480.html
http://community.today.com/parentingteam/post/is-your-relationship-with-alcohol-healthy-for-your-kids
Love you! XO
I understand but I have enough of a sense of humour and stronger boundaries to a: remember when wine used to be jolly good fun and a contributor to the merry making and b)
ReplyDeletethey can I CANT ... Not safely anyway.
In addition to that it stopped " working" for me ( as a merry making device) years before I was able to surrender.
Thanks be to God there are a lot of other sayings and memes out there that say exactly trhe types of things we like:
SOMETIME. IT TAKES BALLS TO BE A WOMAN
NEVER BE DEFINED BY YOUR PAST: IT WAS JUST A LESSON NOT A LIFE SENTENCE
or my favorite
I DIDNT KNOW THAT GOD WAS ALL I NEEDED UNTIL
GOD WAS ALL I HAD
BLESS YOU AL
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ReplyDeleteNATASHA
TORONTO
Thank-you Mrs. D for speaking to and back at the endless glorification of booze on social media! It seems like a knee jerk response of people who think it sounds carefree and daring and cool to talk up alcohol. And the reality is so different. I remember when I was first trying out sobriety for size, learning to say no. I was living out of the country, in Mexico. I happened to be flipping through an American magazine and seeing the characters from the show Cougar Town drinking these massive glasses of red wine. And my drinking brain lit up, and so badly wanted one. And I did drink, and it didn't end well, spent the next few days feeling sick in beautiful Puerto Vallarta. From a young age, I heard and saw really positive messages about booze from the TV - a required stress reliever (M*A*S*H*), and a happy go lucky social lubricant (Cheers). And more recently, booze as part of the NYC glamour package on Sex and the City. In reality, two of those four central actresses do not drink at all - Kim Cattrall and Kristin Davis. All of this to say, going against the cultural grain is brave and necessary!! Thank-you for what you do.
ReplyDeleteSitting in the car waiting for my husband to give an estimate. I had to drive him because he just got a DUI. I probably do all the wrong things when it comes to my husband's alcoholism but after reading this I am more committed to cleaning up our entire environment. I understand that an alcoholic ultimately puts the drink to his or her own lips but we're kidding ourselves if we don't think that we contribute to people around us. Sobriety is good for everybody. I never want to be that person sitting across from somebody that pushes a person who is in recovery to decide to have just one. I think I've had an epiphany, I'm done. Thank you to this blog, it's invaluable. Keep spreading this energy.
ReplyDeleteThe argument will always be, "it's just a wine joke." But it's really that dangerous attitude that perpetuates the norm of heavy casual drinking and excludes those who can never do so.
ReplyDelete