I'm not judging you lady!

So far so good on the being-happily-sober-during-the-silly-season front. I've been out to a few parties and gatherings and haven't felt the slightest urge to drink. Sometimes I wonder if people are avoiding me because I'm not drinking but then I think if they are it's their choice and that's fine. Maybe some people do think being sober is lame and therefore I'm lame too.. if that's their opinion then that's their issue and I can't do anything about it.

I did have one woman at a BBQ catch me glancing at her right as she was refilling her glass of bubbles and when she saw me she said "don't look". I didn't even know her! Why didn't she want me to look? Does she think I'm the alcohol police? I'm not the bloody alcohol police I'm a recovering alcoholic!

Having said that I do have to recognise that it's been my choice to go public about my sobriety and to continuously promote recovery online and in the media. I do always try to maintain a tone which is not anti-alcohol but rather pro people like me who can't moderate.

I want to reach people who might be secretly worried about their own drinking, feeling stuck and alone like I was. I want them to know they're not alone. I want to talk to people who are in the early stages of quitting and let them know there's a whole gang of us out there also living alcohol free.

What I don't ever want to do is make people feel bad for drinking or make them think I'm judging or criticising their habits. I'm not because other people's drinking habits are none of my business.

Also - it's impossible to know the truth about someone's drinking just from seeing them out at an event. Maybe that woman filling her glass at the BBQ was having her one big night of the year - good on her! Maybe she drinks more often than that but is totally comfortable with her intake and isn't hurting anyone - good on her! Not my business.

Seriously - I am not in the business of thinking that everyone on the planet needs to quit drinking (but OMG could you image if we lived in that world!). All I want to do is be honest about my own dysfunctional relationship with alcohol because I believe the more we all share honestly the better it is for everyone. I want there to be an honest dialogue about how alcohol isn't a fun, harmless substance for everyone. I want it to be common knowledge there are a lot of humans who struggle to control it, and I want there to be no stigma about that.

And most of all I want anyone who might be considering quitting to know that while it's hard work it's very doable and in the long run so much better!

I shudder to think what my life would be like now if I'd continued on the path I was on. In the year or so before I quit my drinking was escalating at a very fast rate. So by now I would be likely drinking more daily, I would be fatter, more bloated, more cut off from my emotions, more disconnected from my family and less in touch with everything and everyone around me.

Thank goodness that's not the case and I'm now sober and happy in my personal choice to remove alcohol from my life.

I'm just concentrating on me, and I feel great about my decision to put down the bottle 2297 days ago.

Merry Christmas!

Love, Mrs D xxx