I've been having a very reflective time of late - reaching some monumental milestones in my life.
A few weeks back I celebrated ten years sober. TEN! What a milestone. And in just over one week I'll be turning 50 years old. Also a pretty big milestone.
Celebrating ten years of sobriety was really cool. It's so easy for me to not drink now, I don't hanker, crave or wish for booze in my life ever. But I still have to front up to all my emotions in the raw every single day.. so being sober makes a big difference to my day-to-day life. Celebrating milestones is important, I think, and because it was such a lovely big round number I got some great feedback from friends and family on ten years. My mum sent flowers! And Mr D gave me a gorgeous daisy necklace.
Ten years is a lot of days of never numbing or bending my brain chemistry. A lot of days of showing up every moment with a 100% wide open brain, pure intention and gutsy attitude. Whatever happens - tricky stuff, emotional stuff, delicate stuff, uneasy stuff.. I deal with it head on. Rah!
Anyone who chooses to live without booze is a goddam hero. Whether you're on day 10 or year 10, you're a legend. We all deserve huge praise and admiration from ourselves and those around us.
And as for turning 50 years old. If I'm honest I'm feeling it pretty keenly. There's no denying now that I'm on the downward slope of life. No longer 'young' or 'fresh'. Getting a bit more wrinkly and grey. Body feeling a bit more creaky. Things are changing.
It's ok. I'm ok. Everything is going to be ok. I just have to adjust my mindset, accept the way of life and get on with it.
And getting on with it I am! I've quit one of my part-time jobs (the one that wasn't right for me sadly) and am going back to University next year to do a Post Graduate Diploma in counselling. I want to do more work in the addiction sector, helping people one-on-one but with the right training and qualification behind me.
I've also just rejoined the gym! And am going to work on strengthening my body and getting fit again.
So 50 - bring it on. Downward slope - whatevs. This is my one life and I'm living it to the full.
Wouldn't want it any other way.
Love, Mrs D xxx
