Saturday, February 11, 2012

Yet another sober Friday night..

So Friday night rolls around now and I don't really think about having a drink, I mean I do kind of think about having a drink, in a 'isn't it interesting that I'm not hankering for a drink' kind of thinking about drinking way.  So I'm not not thinking about it. I'm thinking about it, but not in a struggling-thinking way.

Great writing there but you get my drift.

Quick check and I'm 158 days sober.  My first day sober was September 6 so March 6 will be six months.  Oh.  I thought I was nearly 6 months.  I've been telling people that I'm six months sober.  But now I see it's only just over 5 months.  That's a bit deflating.  But irrelevant I suppose.  I keep reading other people's blogs and they're celebrating 2 years and I always WISH that I was two years sober.

I've also kept reading that the 6 month mark is a tough one for some reason. So I'll brace myself for that.  I would love to be floating on a pink cloud like I was a few months back.  Where I felt so clever and special and invincible and Happy! to have kicked the drink.  Now my steady state is proud but low key.  Humble and a bit ...flat?  No, not flat.  Low-key, that's all.

But there's nofuckingway I'm going to drink. Just to make that clear.

My new fancy hairdresser (lovely woman but the salon oh-so-trendy and the prices!!! Yikes!!!) offered me a glass of wine on Thursday and I said no thanks with a smile and then momentarily felt really boring.  Normally with friends or acquaintances I'd launch in with an explanation about how I'd kicked the drink with well-worn lines like 'I was just finding it harder and harder to control so thought I'd remove it altogether' and 'I was a real boozer but I'm so much happier now'.  But at the salon that wasn't really appropriate so I was just left with the feeling of being someone who turned down a treaty glass of wine at 4.15pm on a Thursday.  She'd asked with such a cheeky, fun air too.

Oh well.

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. 5 months sober - you are an inspiration to me who is finally trying to change my life. I read the post about your friend Candy with tears in my eyes...oh could I relate. Thanks for sharing your very personal experience and congratulations for a huge accomplishment.

  2. Yikes, I think the Google machine ate my first comment, but I apologize if this is a repeat.

    I just wanted to say that tonight is my first Friday night sober, hopefully for the rest of my life. It's really, really hard to say that as I'm so new to sobriety and it's just tiny baby steps right now.

    Anyway, I found your blog last night, I'm not even sure where I clicked through from but I love it. I love your sense of humour and storytelling. Maybe I'll just hang out and read your archives this weekend :)



  3. Congratulations on your just about 6 month anniversary (I tend to look on the bright side). You should be extremely proud of yourself!

    There is a progression to being sober - at least there was for me. Just remember that the alcohol will LIE...LIE like a rug...LIE and tell you you're okay when you're not. Sounds like you already know not to listen but I thought I'd give you a little nudge.

    Happy Sober Friday! And Happier No Hangover Saturday!

  4. I wonder how I would have coped with people close to me were drinking... I'm glad that I don't have to deal with that though, it makes it so much easier. And it makes me realise how incredibly strong you are.

    Hmmm I haven't been around people drinking alcohol for *digging in memory*... well, it must be close to a couple of years now.

    There's an event coming up at work, in about a month. This event means they remain at work one Friday, as they have bought a lot of alcohol and snacks and then they party and mingle for a few hours.

    I don't want to go, because I really don't have the energy to be superficially social and chatty with folks that I don't know and who are themselves energized by alcohol. Then again, I know that it is during these events that colleagues get to know eachother on a more personal level... Ah well, I'll have a ponder about that one.

    Anyways, many CONGRATULATIONS to your five months of sobriety! Soon you will galantly hit the six months target and I will be standing there cheering you on, and then quickly follow in your footsteps.

    Take care mrs D, and have an absolutely wonderful Friday! *hugs*

  5. Ohmygoodness you are doing AMAZING at just 5/6 months! Your comments and posts are always so insightful, honest, and helpful. I thought you had years and years on me. I totally get the "low key" state and must tell you, I've grown to love it. I experience is now as a state of peace. Emotional extremes just pull me away from any kind of real spiritual connection. Low key is my new bliss!

  6. I got married when I was nine months sober and my long time aesthetician was the one that did my makeup for the wedding. I had it done at her spa and was running terrifically behind and was stressed, blah blah. She kept offering me champagne and I kept refusing. What irritated is that she knew I was sober but I honestly don't think she understood what that meant. I kept getting increasingly more irritated and was so thankful to be able to leave. However, what I was leaving for was my wedding that had an open bar. :::sigh:::: Not one of the happiest days of my life.

  7. I wish I was at 158 days instead of 151. Wink! Wink! I'm glad we're together in this wonky journey right where we are. I was all excited about going out on the town with my friends last and ended up sitting at the end of a table with strangers feeling like a big dull lump while my friends were down at the other end getting buzzy with the other buzzy people and making new best friends forever, exchanging emails, and professing their love for total strangers. I felt left out and boring but not once did the thought of ordering a drink cross my mind. I seek great solace and snarky superiority in knowing they all feel like hammered shitola this morning. That was mean, I take it back. No, I don't. Enjoy your Saturday.

  8. Hooray for you, Mrs. D! Six months is such a meaningful milestone!

    I can so relate to feeling like a bore turning down a glass of wine but it's better to have an occasional feeling of party pooper-ness than frequent feelings of shame, embarrassment and gasp! Hangovers...

    Love this post!

  9. Congratulations Mrs D. It's amazing how the one day at a times add up isn't it? One day or 10,000 days it's still one day at a time and the person who is sober longest is the person who got up earliest. :)

    If you don't drink today you win.

  10. I'm googling "10,000 days sober" this morning and came across your blog.

    I was looking to see if there is a 10,000 day chip. I plan to hit that milestone on 4-22-12.

    I did the math and factored in the leap years.

    Just by some kind of coincidence that is also my wife's birthday. I suppose the odds are 1 in 365 for that to happen.

    She is not part of my program.

    I am very selfish with my sobriety.

    She has never seen me have a drink. This summer we will have our 25th anniversary. We raised two daughters. Sent them through college. They are out there working at their careers. They have never seen me have a beer. They have never seen me in a tavern. They are not part of my program either.

    I was asked to speak at a local out-patient treatment facility on April 18th. I haven't been a speaker for at least 20 years.

    I know that a speaker's story should include "what it was like, what happened, and what it's like now".

    One thing I can say for sure is that whether you are sober 7 months or 10,000 days, it is still "one day at a time".