Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Why I love being sober..

I chatted with a friend the other day about about all the stuff that had been going on lately and opened up that it had been a hard time 'sober-wise' as I'd been hankering for a glass of wine to help me deal with things.  Told her that I'd pushed through OK (with the help of half a cigarette that tasted awful) and things were smoothing out now and I was getting closer to my one year 'soberversary'.  She said, "I often think of you. How amazingly strong you are. I wish I could drink less."

Ok so there's a lot going on here.  1) she's concerned she drinks too much 2) she's being honest with herself about her drinking and working to keep in as under control as possible and 3) she thinks of me and it helps!

I'd be a big fat liar if I didn't admit that I love that people are impressed by me giving up booze.  It's a vain, big-headed thing to say but it's definitely one of the big positives about living sober and I'll take the good along with the bad.

Good = people are impressed, people think I'm strong, I think I'm strong!, I respect myself more, I have a much healthier self-image, I make more effort with my appearance and personal grooming (the extra bits like nails and eyebrows), I'm saving money, I am healthier, I am calmer, I am more considered in my approach to interpersonal matters, I am ensuring my kids won't carry any shit from having a heavy-drinking mum, I am choosing a sustainable way of living well for the second half of my life.

Bad = I'm different from the majority, I won't be able to be 'silly pissed' at parties and might have to retreat if it's difficult to mesh with people who are getting tipsy or drunk, I have to deal with tricky interpersonal stuff in a raw and real state which is sometimes not as appealing as blurring the edges with wine, the angry and sad versions of myself are more pronounced when they're around, I don't get to taste alcohol any more.

These are the facts.  This is what I have chosen.  No regrets.

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. As my kids would say, "you're beast!". I'm pretty sure that means fantastic and I would agree. Rock on Mrs. D!

  2. people think you're strong, you are strong. and the gift to your kids is undeniable. the bad sides, having to deal with things "in the raw" must get easier with time, oui? god i hope so... but i always found myself angrier and sadder WITH wine, rather than without. my crying jags have disappeared in the past 8 weeks ...

  3. I'm different from the majority too. Its ok...we walk to the beat of our own drummer. That is something to be admired....and it sounds like you have some admirers. You are making a difference just by your example.

  4. In time your bad won't be a bad. I rarely envy someone who can drink, if the thought comes I have an instant reminder that I can't and every have drank safely, one drink leads to a series of event which being destruction for me and those I love.

    As for your friend, by you living sober she may see in you something she wants for herself and if she really wants to get off the roller coaster she may ask you for help. I like the saying "you may be the only Big Book someone reads"

    Thanks for sharing!

  5. :) You are a good strong mum! You really should be patting yourself on the back and being vain about it even!


  6. Go Mrs. D. You are amazing. So good you are in touch with your feelings.