Monday, November 12, 2012

On the up!

And like a phoenix from the flames (being a bit overly dramatic there) my sober mojo has returned and I have risen from my funk to once again be feeling fine and dandy about things.

I'm riding those waves of emotion like a pro don't ya think?  Well .. actually not really .. I still think that all the moaning and groaning that I do on here about being in a funk and stressed and all of that is kind of a failure.

But then I think well I am writing a blog charting my journey in sober living and I have to keep updating so there is going to be a bit of naval gazing now and then isn't there.

And then I think that actually me moaning and groaning and even admitting to having low moods is an entirely new thing for me and I shouldn't feel like it's a failure to do so.

And then I think am I thinking too much?

And then I think what shall I cook for dinner, and that I'll buy some herbs to plant this weekend.

And then I think I'll do some more work on my thesis tonight, and I wonder yet again how the hell I would be able to do this MA if I was still boozing.

And then I think back to my low mood over the last week or two and I feel really good about how I sat with those feelings and got through them without drinking.

And then I think isn't it amazing how I never want to drink.

And then I think how my sobriety just keeps getting longer and longer and longer...

And then I boil the jug and make a cup of tea....

And I feel just fine.

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. And then I think, if Mrs D can do it, I can too. If Mrs D can get through a funk and rise like a phoenix on the other side, so can I.

    And then I think, Mrs D is so cool, I wanna be just like her.

    Keep lighting the way, chica

  2. Sure, we could just write about the good stuff, but I suspect that wouldn't feel satisfying and so we wouldn't keep at it. It certainly wouldn't be a real snapshot of what it's like getting sober. I like knowing there will be bad times but coming out of them is just as certain. I love knowing how good that feels, first from reading about it from others and then experiencing it myself. You show a positive honesty in all of your posts and that's what I love best about you.

  3. Without writing out the bad, the good doesn't really have a point does it? If I just read good things from my sober friends, I would think there was something seriously wrong with me; That I COULDN'T push through the bad and stay sober. Reading your post when you are struggling, and how you are getting through it; gives me hope and motivation when I'm

  4. I'm just glad that you think, and write, and make a cup of tea . . . and think some more amd write some more. Every word of it, all so honest and open.
    Great to see a post from you, sending love your way Mrs D

  5. I just love the way you went from feeling like you are not a naval gazer to embracing it as a part of healing and being real. You go girl ( :

  6. Glad you're feeling better! Peaks and valleys are normal. If you were "up" all the time, you'd be Spongebob Squarepants!

  7. well THIS is good news, glad to hear the pendulum has swung ... any idea what made it swing? or just waiting it out ... sometimes when i feel crummy i try random things to jumpstart myself, like throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks...

  8. Sometimes it does get a bit tedious trying to find stuff to share - and of course the dramas are always more compelling than the flowery smiling moments. Great to be reading your story and your successes!

  9. This made me smile!
    Fighting insomnia after a long day... So nice to hear you're balancing the ups and downs. How amazing that we can sit at the table with these funky depressed moods and just have a stare down with those suckers until they get bored and leave us be.
    I've said all along, your honesty is refreshing and I admire you for putting it all out there.
    Mostly I admire you for choosing sobriety.
    Love your blog!
    xx Christy

  10. Mrs. D,
    Love your blog and have been reading for some time now! You are about the age of my children and I'm so impressed with how you are handling sobriety. I just want to put in a lug for AA meetings (saw your comment on another blog.) I go every morning to a meditation meeting and it is fabulous!! I have made friends with some wonderful people and it's so helpful to my sobriety to have them there. Just a thought, but sober friends who get it are priceless!!

  11. That's still the most surprising thing for me - that I just have to sit through the feelings and they will pass. No more booze to numb them away, just the clean passing of time and everything's always okay. It's a new concept for me and I'm 30!