Monday, November 12, 2012

On the up!

And like a phoenix from the flames (being a bit overly dramatic there) my sober mojo has returned and I have risen from my funk to once again be feeling fine and dandy about things.

I'm riding those waves of emotion like a pro don't ya think?  Well .. actually not really .. I still think that all the moaning and groaning that I do on here about being in a funk and stressed and all of that is kind of a failure.

But then I think well I am writing a blog charting my journey in sober living and I have to keep updating so there is going to be a bit of naval gazing now and then isn't there.

And then I think that actually me moaning and groaning and even admitting to having low moods is an entirely new thing for me and I shouldn't feel like it's a failure to do so.

And then I think am I thinking too much?

And then I think what shall I cook for dinner, and that I'll buy some herbs to plant this weekend.

And then I think I'll do some more work on my thesis tonight, and I wonder yet again how the hell I would be able to do this MA if I was still boozing.

And then I think back to my low mood over the last week or two and I feel really good about how I sat with those feelings and got through them without drinking.

And then I think isn't it amazing how I never want to drink.

And then I think how my sobriety just keeps getting longer and longer and longer...

And then I boil the jug and make a cup of tea....

And I feel just fine.

Love, Mrs D xxx

12 comments:

  1. And then I think, if Mrs D can do it, I can too. If Mrs D can get through a funk and rise like a phoenix on the other side, so can I.

    And then I think, Mrs D is so cool, I wanna be just like her.

    Keep lighting the way, chica

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  2. Sure, we could just write about the good stuff, but I suspect that wouldn't feel satisfying and so we wouldn't keep at it. It certainly wouldn't be a real snapshot of what it's like getting sober. I like knowing there will be bad times but coming out of them is just as certain. I love knowing how good that feels, first from reading about it from others and then experiencing it myself. You show a positive honesty in all of your posts and that's what I love best about you.

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  3. Without writing out the bad, the good doesn't really have a point does it? If I just read good things from my sober friends, I would think there was something seriously wrong with me; That I COULDN'T push through the bad and stay sober. Reading your post when you are struggling, and how you are getting through it; gives me hope and motivation when I'm just.not.feeling.it.

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  4. I'm just glad that you think, and write, and make a cup of tea . . . and think some more amd write some more. Every word of it, all so honest and open.
    Great to see a post from you, sending love your way Mrs D

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  5. I just love the way you went from feeling like you are not a naval gazer to embracing it as a part of healing and being real. You go girl ( :

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  6. Glad you're feeling better! Peaks and valleys are normal. If you were "up" all the time, you'd be Spongebob Squarepants!

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  7. well THIS is good news, glad to hear the pendulum has swung ... any idea what made it swing? or just waiting it out ... sometimes when i feel crummy i try random things to jumpstart myself, like throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks...

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  8. Sometimes it does get a bit tedious trying to find stuff to share - and of course the dramas are always more compelling than the flowery smiling moments. Great to be reading your story and your successes!

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  9. This made me smile!
    Fighting insomnia after a long day... So nice to hear you're balancing the ups and downs. How amazing that we can sit at the table with these funky depressed moods and just have a stare down with those suckers until they get bored and leave us be.
    I've said all along, your honesty is refreshing and I admire you for putting it all out there.
    Mostly I admire you for choosing sobriety.
    Love your blog!
    xx Christy

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  10. Mrs. D,
    Love your blog and have been reading for some time now! You are about the age of my children and I'm so impressed with how you are handling sobriety. I just want to put in a lug for AA meetings (saw your comment on another blog.) I go every morning to a meditation meeting and it is fabulous!! I have made friends with some wonderful people and it's so helpful to my sobriety to have them there. Just a thought, but sober friends who get it are priceless!!

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  11. That's still the most surprising thing for me - that I just have to sit through the feelings and they will pass. No more booze to numb them away, just the clean passing of time and everything's always okay. It's a new concept for me and I'm 30!

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