Monday, April 29, 2013

The power inside...

There's a really amazing feeling in the air... like things are shifting and's a positive feeling...a good feeling....I feel kind of excited and forward-moving. It's hard to explain, and there's nothing specific happening for me.. it's just that I feel like my life is shifting and moving forward and there's positive momentum. I've hit some sort of different place where the 'getting on with living sober' is occurring.

It's an amazing feeling... I have to tell you. And I would LOVE to know from those sober longer than me (just checked I'm 601 days, 20-odd months sober) if this is a normal step in the process. It's lovely, quite freeing... my life is wide open before me.

Maybe this happiness is related to the amazingly wonderful weekend away I just had BY MYSELF staying with a girlfriend.

Maybe it's because of the wonderful Cupcake Brown book 'A Piece of Cake' I read before I went. So life-affirming and powerful - how to turn even the shittiest life around. I do so recommend it.

Maybe it's because of this article I read in the Guardian online by a concert pianist about following your dreams. It's so inspiring. Read it, then find him playing on YouTube and have a listen. It will lift your soul (it did mine anyway).

Maybe because of all this I've started reading The Happiness Project again .. by Gretchen Rubin. It's kind of silly and ridiculous in its simplicity, and a kind of uptight and really methodical way of making yourself feel better but it is full of ideas of things to do to improve day-in-day-out living.

I think if you make a decision to do something like remove alcohol from your life.. if you work fucking hard to follow through with that decision, gritting your teeth through the really hard times.. slogging away sluggishly through the low times... adjusting and coping and managing to do it... over time you start to believe... really start to believe in the power that you have inside to direct your own life. I firmly believe we all have that power. Feel it... know that it is there...poke it... prod it a bit... exercise it... built it up... watch it grow. Go for it.

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. Well, I'm glad you flopped back over and wrote another blog. I know it's getting to be redundant but I was just thinking about posting on one of the message boards that I'm a member of about the same thing. Does there come a time when you just don't feel as close to the recovery process, that you feel like you have nothing left to say? Does there come a time you become apathetic and resentful of the time you spend on it? Is that a danger signal?

    I'm all about the feel good books, I'd be embarrassed to describe some of the highs I've had lately, sometimes I think I'm manic.

  2. So nice to hear you're feeling this good, my friend! God knows you deserve it! And it's infectious, so i thank you for the smile i'm now wearing. :-)

  3. Its been my experience that everyone's sobriety experience is different. Much like our drinking experiences were all different. Where I was at 20 months of sobriety was nothing like where you are right now, but I can still say that it wasn't 'bad.' Just different and maybe not quite as euphoric.

    I started blogging when I was six years sober and was heavily involved in the recovery blogging community up until two years ago. It became emotionally exhausting for me to stay on top of so many blogs with all the reading, commenting, and moderating comments. I also had to acknowledge a dependence to the blogs that had developed that wasn't healthy. I need a more stable recovery environment in my own backyard. Now, I read occasionally but certainly don't post as often.

    Its my guess that you will find your own comfort level regarding the blog as the months and years add up. Life is fluid and ever changing...just go with it. Stay sober :-)

  4. I also think that the 'stages' or 'processes' we go through in recovery are very different and individual -- I remember so well though having the sense you describe of liberating one's potential, having found a new freedom and power to direct my life, live more deeply and wildly and fully.

    The rewards of staying sober are so rich and varied.

  5. "There's a really amazing feeling in the air... like things are shifting and's a positive feeling...a good feeling..." You summed up really well how I am feeling right now and most of it is due to the information on your site. I saw the Jason Vale book you recommended on my first full day sober last week and bought it in ebook form that morning. The ideas are so obvious when you reflect on them but counter to where my head was right then. I admitt to being scared of "going without" but reading his book gave me another way of seeing it. I really doubt whether this last 9 days would have been so tranqil but for the alternative he proposed. Your blog came at a crucial time for me and I am very grateful.

  6. So great to hear that you are feeling so great! I would say this is your pink cloud but usually this happens earlier in sobriety. But I do remember when sobriety had just become a part of life for me, kind of like getting up and brushing teeth. I no longer felt like I was struggling, things seemed really clear and I was amazed with the freedom I felt. It is a great process, for some it happens faster and some slower but it will happen, and it only continues to get better!

  7. You SHOULD feel good Mrs D! 600+ days!!! 20 months!!! Think of all the times we all tried and failed to cut back or quit...but you are at 600+ days! You should be damn proud! I will always be 13 months behind you....but I will always be following my leader in sobriety...the amazing Mrs D!