Wednesday, February 12, 2014

"Sober Mommies" guest post….

You know in New Zealand we say 'mum' not 'mom'. That's just a little factoid for you.

Anyway I got asked to submit a post to the Sober Mommies website which was really lovely of them .. you can read what I wrote here..

It was a good exercise actually.. trying to neatly summarize the last days of my drinking, my decision to quit and the support I found through this blog. I managed to get a lot into the required word count.

When you write about something a lot (as I am with my drinking and sobriety) you get quite good at summarizing bloody intense stuff… but sometimes I worry that I'm making everything I've gone through sound easy-breezy.

I can tell you it wasn't fucking easy-breezy to get myself out of the boozy hell-hole I was in and I will NEVER take for granted what I did and where I am today.

Sometimes I get angsty or have woe-is-me thoughts or get stressed because the kids are doing my head in or the wi-fi is dodgy again or I'm pissed off I ate too many chocolate biscuits or, or, or…

Life stuff happens.. and I have moods that take me up and down..

But the sober me compared to the boozy me is way more happier, healthier, more authentic and calmer.

Right now its 5.25pm and I've got a carrot cake in the oven, Rhianna is wailing at me over the kitchen speakers, there's a huge pile of washing to be folded, dishes to be washed, children to be fed and it's blowing a gale outside.

But I don't have any wine in my system. And that, my friends, is a goddam beautiful thing.

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. I've just finished reading your entire blog from start to finish. Started three days ago when you logged on to Soberistas. It inspires me and outstounds me with your honesty and determination. I was on the edge of my seat willing you on through your milestones and gave a cheer when you got your MA.

    Many writings about alcohol just don't resonate with me ...although I can admire the courage and strength it has taken to pull back from the brink.

    But this really REALLY does. I too have been somewhere along the spectrum of unsafe drinking but not losing-everything rock bottom. If we, as a society, are to address the culture of alcohol and it's consequences we have to find a way of reaching those who are not yet in the ditch before they get there. For seeing that alcohol free can be cool, full of pleasure and joy. That the dull bits can be ridden.

    It matters to have connection with others who are of have been in the same place, not utterly down and out, but in a bad enough place. Those ahead of us help signpost the way and retain some equanimity when the bumps and potholes present to us.

    I feel so very grateful.

  2. It's always good for me to go back and recount the final drinking days. No matter how much my brain tries to glamorize it all, in the end there was NOTHING glamorous or even enjoyable about it. Thanks for the reminder and for the vision of what more time sober look like :)

  3. Cracking as always Mrs D and we call them 'Mum' here too :)

  4. Morning Mrs D.
    I'm not meaning to be 'anonymous' just don't know how else to post here.
    I'm 3 weeks sober now and clinging to your blog for dear fucking life. It is so fabulous to have someone who I can identify with and read what you've been through and read about how happy you are.
    Thanks again

  5. For some reason, I can't post comments to you with my wordpress account, so I must remain anonymous! I really enjoy your blog though.

  6. Such a good post. I'm looking forward to the memoir. I'll finally know a published author even if we've never met and we're on different continents. You've helped me immensely. I love your honesty.

  7. Great post - I await the memoir...

  8. I made a comment there, Mrs D. which I am copying here:

    Lovely words, Mrs. D. It's amazing how our little community really does help one another. i know I can attest to that personally, and it's just more than sobriety - we do help with all the other things that crop up in life, and there is a certain solidarity and joy in knowing that others out here have our back. We may not "see" each other all the time, and life does interfere, but when we do visit each other's little corner of the universe, we are that much more connected and we don't feel the need to fake it. We are about as authentic as it gets out here.

    Wonderful post, Mrs. D.

    Love and light,

  9. Oops - forgot to say congrats on your post there!!

    And I will take some of that carrot cake :)