Friday, February 21, 2014

Brain food...

My friend Sherry has written this brilliant post explaining the difference between feeling like a 'newby' sober person and feeling 'more advanced' (she explains it as being like a sober newborn then becoming a sober toddler). It's brilliant you should read it.

She also mentions she's reading a lot of new sober blogs but is worried to comment because she doesn't want to come across as preachy or telling people what to do. I sorta know what she means, but at the same time I can also remember how much I learned from the 'more advanced' sober people when I was a 'newby' … so for that reason I still try hard to get around lots of blogs and comment when I can.

Sometimes I don't have enough time to keep up with everyone's new posts but I try (and will keep trying) to stay in touch because I think sober blogging is amazingly powerful and even the lurkers who read and never comment get benefit from the rest of us who are active.

And there's one thing about getting sober that is for sure.. when you make it to Safe Sober Ground you really want to help others get here. Come over here people - Safe Sober Ground is a mighty fine place to be!

(While I'm at it please can you let me know if you are blogging and I don't have you on my Blog List.. or if you know of a great sober blog that I don't have on my list. I want to keep updated.)

I'm getting sent lots of interesting material at the moment regarding addictions .. this book a brave sober warrior wrote and self-published - yay for brave sober warriors who share their truth! Also got sent a copy of this book "Beyond Addiction: A guide for families" which is written by really high caliber experts in the field of addiction .. this one would be a godsend for people worried about a friend or family member who is struggling with addiction (and I love that the subtitle is "How science and kindness help people change" and there's a little love heart on the cover. Science and kindness unite!)

And check out this this fascinating graphic the lovely people at the Rehab Hotline sent me which clearly illustrates America's shocking addiction epidemic and how bad each state is.  They want to highlight these terrible stats so that more people are encouraged to reach out for help.

I know I'm being told about all this stuff because I write a sober blog, but maybe we are at the forefront of a big shift in our world that is going to see steady, regular boozing become less acceptable. Where people who are addicted to drugs are viewed as needing emotional support and not as being criminals.

I mean happy, settled, contented, sorted, calm, healthy people aren't regular users of drugs and alcohol are they? Or are they? Am I wrong about that? I know I wasn't the best, calmest happiest version of myself when I was boozing heavily.

I just agree so much with the authors of Beyond Addiction that kindness needs to be at the forefront of our approach to addiction. Kindness with a bit of science thrown in for good measure.

So here's some extra kindness to sign off with...

Love, love, love, love, love, love, love Mrs D xxx


  1. For me there is no Safe Sober Ground. I have to work my programme on a daily basis to maintain sobriety. In AA we say the person with the longest sobriety is the person who got up earliest that morning.

    That's not to say that the experience of sobriety doesn't change, it does. I like Sherry's analogy of growing up as that is what a lot of us have to do when we get sober.

    But my alcoholism is always there waiting for a chance to take over again. Mr SponsorPants once described it as working hard to keep the dragon of his addiction asleep in his lair.

  2. Hi Mrs D, thanks for the shout to my book (and calling me a brave sober warrior!).
    It would be lovely to have a follower on my blog at
    see you there!

  3. Hi Mrs D, I was way way way behind on your blog. And this morning I said "I need to catch up with Mrs D" . I can't believe I missed so much...your book! your new house! your graduation! But what's most important is that YOU are still sober and still writing! Oh, and so am I! Almost 17months! I just love love love your writing and cannot wait to get your book! I can't wait to read every sentence that has a 'shitballs' in it! LOL! You are the very best Mrs D!!!!

  4. Question about your book....We know you as Mrs D. Will it be published as such or under your real name? I want to make sure I get it as soon as it's released. Can't wait!

  5. Thanks so much for the shout out!!!!

    I just put a link up to that organization too!

    Love, love, love, love, love, love, love right back atcha my friend.


  6. Blimy Mrs D you and I must be psychic as my post today was a trailer to the US film Anonymous People which is also about their addiction epidemic. Love back to you too xx

  7. It's hard for me to keep up too. I think I have about 215 blogs I follow. Sounds like a lot, and it is (not all are recovery), but that is where I have to learn to skip or just "Like" or just read, etc. I do have my core faves (like you!) which I comment almost every time. And when I do comment, I go all in (in other words, blah blah blah). But on the "counting days" blogs, I don't comment as much. As I told Sherry on her blog, sometimes folks need to just vent, and not have someone telling them stuff. I do encourage, but I don't get into the you shoulds and should nots.

    anyway, great stuff, as usual Mrs. D. It's funny you mention the blogroll thing - I was just updating mine as we speak. I am getting rid of the blogs that are defunct or who post once in a blue moon. I like to have current, active blogs. And I don't post all 200+ - just the ones that are my go-tos, so to speak :)

    Love and light!