Sunday, August 17, 2014

Big-Ass Sober Test...

Ok so this is new for me in my sobriety. Working again. Work stress. Juggling. Time pressure. Keeping calm under pressure. Trying to stay on top of things and manage all the demands of my life and remain feeling content and peaceful within (which is my ultimate goal. I hate it when I'm wound up!).

I suppose I had the relocation and the masters thesis to contend with after I got sober.. so I've had stress in sobriety before.. but for some reason this feels different. This Living Sober gig is a job. So I'm juggling now. I'm a classic juggling mum.. trying to run the house, keep the kids fed and happy and under control and attended to.. the husband attended to (not that he needs much, he's awesome) and myself calm and happy (the most important thing).

So yeah.. this is a big-ass sober test.

I'm up for the challenge. I can recognize when I'm starting to get stressed.. I can feel it in my body - my shoulders go up and a pressure comes on in my chest, and my head gets a lot of white noise.. none of this is major or crippling, but I can sense it when it comes...

I'm going to meet this challenge head on. I'm going to listen to the clever people who can help me manage this (Tara, Dan Siegel, Byron Katie) I'm going to drop my shoulders when I feel them rising.. look up at the clouds when I notice my eyes have been stuck downwards for too long, keep checking in with my head and my chest - I don't know how to explain this but there are ways that I can 'check in' with myself and notice what I'm feeling and ground myself momentarily…

And mostly I'm going to remember that this year - 2014 - is a monumental year for me.. what with the book coming out and going so public about my drinking problem.. having overwhelming, amazing and lovely response from people who self-identify as being in a similar position with booze and wanting to change themselves and get sober, and now having created (with the help of expert partners) a new online space where people are actually finding support and changing (it's un-fucking-believable what is going on inside Living Sober already.. wow wow wow it's full of people turning their lives around. Like actually turning. their. lives. around).. but yeah.. this is a big year, and this year will pass and these things will become less intense, more just a part of the woodwork, and it will be 2015, 2016, 2020, 2025, and life will move on and I just have to keep moving through it trying to be smiley and lovely…

So this is where I'm at.

And now I'm going to go brew myself a cup of the new Chamomile & Lavender tea that I just bought. Will it be yummy? Hope so!

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. I hear you! The old juggling routine is a tricky one. I take as many short cuts as I can. Making big batches of food to freeze can be a life saver at the end of a long day. I also found that keeping my protein levels up helped and drinking lots of tea/chai/hot chocolate. You can do it. We all can. It's one foot in front of the other. :-)

  2. Hey you. So glad you are recognising this and facing it head on. I have seen a shrink from time to time over the years, and she has told me that her office is full of professional women trying to juggle work and home - and very often turning to drink. So luckily you have turned away from drink already, and know that is not the solution! Be very very kind to yourself, and make sure you find some time for YOU. I also recommend you try T-Leaf Tea, Kawa Kawa tea, best tea EVERY. My love also says to tell you to try their tea "restful" - also very good. Love to you xx

  3. Just pace yourself and look after yourself. Remember that you are human and a wife and mother that has those demands as well. It certainly has been a full on year for you but you should be very proud of the positive influence you have had not only on yourself but also on the national and cyber community. Just keep being "you". xx

  4. Hi There, you rock! Keep up with the tea. Don't get caught out like me. Am 46days sober...last week went and got some lemon balm(tincture) from health shop. Suppose to help you sleep, relieve stress. Yep slept alright and woke with an annoying headache. I didn't realise tinctures have a preservative in them...45% alcohol!!!! I was so annoyed with them and they couldn't see why.

  5. Life likes to dish up double edged swords doesn't it! Your resounding success in moving forward your wish for people like me to wake up to their addiction and live a life of peaceful sobriety has brought with it a large responsibility and desire to roll with the rapid growth and support us all in our journey. You are one in a million Mrs D! Hang in there and keep posting. It keeps it all real for the rest of us supermums out here!x

  6. You are awesome Mrs D and are helping so many people with you blog, your book and now your Living Sober website. We are all so very grateful and appreciate all you are doing. But please take care of yourself. You need to look after yourself too. Hopefully things will settle down soon and you will settle into a routine. So make sure you find some time for YOU. And have plenty of rest. Thinking of you. Axx

  7. I'm thinking of doing the same thing, returning to work. I did two years of sobriety in a workplace environment that was voraciously eating my soul. This past year, I left the job and had loads of time for myself, and I dove into recovery, which turned out to be quite time consuming (in such a good way!). It seems like it might be time to get back into it, see how I can manage all the kid/house/hubby/extracurricular juggling, WITH recovery and staying sane, keeping this peace. It will be a similar job, but in a different venue, and I'm hoping the politics won't be as bad. Or that I can figure out a way to be blissfully ignorant and stay out of the crap. I will remember to look to the sky, drop my shoulders, breathe, and not bring the nonsense home with me. Will it be easy? I have tools now to help, so I think I can do it.

  8. Hang tough girlie. You got this. You're amazing!!!!

    love and lots and lots of hugs,

  9. What you are doing is nothing short of amazing. You're burning the torch which shows the way out of the gloomy cave of booze dependency, where before throngs of people were just walking around aimlessly in the dark.

  10. Hey Mrs.D,

    You are fabulously human and that is what we love about you so much. This blog won't fail to keep you on an even keel as it has always done :)

    One of the best things my smalls have learnt at Primary School is to give relaxation massage to their classmates as a group for stress management. Get yer little minions trained and have 3 wee physio's at your beck and call!

    When I feel tense I like to crack out my bullwhip, line a row of cans up on the fence and pick them off one by one........kidding......bloody great idea though.....

    Can you receive virtual coupon books?.....transmogrifying my transducer to teleport them now....(mwom, mwom, mwom......or similar transducer sound effect....) cool it worked!

    Please find attached your vouchers, 5 of each, no expiry:

    5x Roar unreasonably at innocents.
    5x 'I've got fucking P.M.T' screeches.
    5x Abrupt cessation of unsolicited telemarketer call.
    5x Drop-kick decorative cushions round lounge.
    5x Firing cat poo over neighbours fence ala Kath and Kim.
    5x Good old fashioned sarcasm.

    Please pepper these liberally throughout the smiling and being lovely at your leisure: let me know when they run out and I can send another. I find one coupon book lasts me about a week.


    1. Ohhh,I want those vouchers too.You need to put them in the sober tool box.

  11. Mrs D,

    Your vision of the future is correct.

    At time ebbs away you will still feel stress, but it will not be connected to sobriety. It may be muffins, doughnuts or chocolate cake, but it won't be alcohol.

    I guess it's important not to stay still in the sober journey and to remember to keep powering on. Don't stop telling yourself how destructive alcohol is, how deadly it can be and how it offers zero benefits.

    Keep working at that and eventually you won't think about drinking at all - irrespective of the disaster that has befallen your life.

    Keep up the good work.


  12. Just wondering how your chamomile and lavender tea was Mrs D?

  13. Actually really lovely and yummy! I was intrigued by the lavender component but it's super-nice…feels very relaxing and treaty. A fun combination xx

    1. Cool. I'm gonna try it. I really LOVE healtheries licorice tea. You've got to brew it for a good eight minutes to really get the flavour out. Not for those who don't like aniseedy things though. xxx

  14. Hi Mrs D..! I saw you on the breakfast show a few weeks back and you were strong and brave! I have been battling with the dreaded drink for many years now too, seeing you on the show prompted me to go out and buy your book AND do something serious about my issues! I am seeking treatment with a rehab centre which I think is something I should have done along time ago! I too have children and am sick of living this life. Thank you so much for your book, it is an amazing read and so relateable to my life. You are such an inspiration, I am so proud of you and I don't even know you! Thank you for helping me too. Signed PT.. Xx