Sunday, August 24, 2014


It's all on. We are all systems go in this house.. (well I am anyway). Mr D has packed his bags, picked up his guitar and walked out. Yesterday. He's gone and I am left to fend for myself….

For a month that is…

Ha! Trying to be dramatic. No but seriously.. Mr D is away for pretty much all of the next month working … he will be popping back occasionally (hopefully 2 nights a week but maybe only 1).. and he'll be a shell of a man very preoccupied with the mammoth work task he has on.

I've been laid up with a health complaint this past week.. feeling very sorry for myself, in pain, low energy, moving slowly etc etc.. Because I've been sick I've been feeling low mood-wise and because I've been feeling low mood-wise I've been eating crap. I've been locked in a terrible cycle of low-grade misery. But now I'm back to (almost) full health.. Mr D has gone and I am raring to go!!!!!

I am going to meet this month-long challenge head on. Here's what I'm going to do…

* I'm going to stay really on top of the household clutter and chores. If my space is clean & tidy I feel better. Sorry if that makes me sound like an anal control freak but it's something I know about myself… if I am feeling shaky inside tidying up makes me feel better. Yesterday after Mr D had gone to catch his plane the boys and I put our onesies on and watched an Adam Sandler flick eating chips and dip. I then let them play the Xbox while I got crazy-busy clearing up junk and wiping down surfaces and organizing little cluttered areas in the house (old magazines went out! All the sauces & spices that had accumulated on the bench went back into the pantry! Old broken lego creations got dumped into the big lego containers! Board games got tidied and piled up! It was super-satisfying).

* I'm going to eat and drink well. I'm going to cut down to 1 coffee a day. No wheat if I can help it. Very little amounts of sugar. Try and have 1 fresh juice a day. Gluten-free muesli with almond milk for breakfast (not sure if I'm going to like that but I'm going to give it a try). Lots of veges, fruit, eggs, meat & nuts. My body is a temple! If I fuel it right I will feel better mentally and physically. Just watched this clip of Jason Vale (he wrote the booze book that helped me so much) about treating our bodies well. It's short talk - only about 15 minutes long - but he makes a good visual point about how the way we choose to fuel our bodies plays such a massive part in our overall well being.

* I am going to work on the upcoming presentations I need to give so that I don't feel too nervous about them. I have been invited to speak at three public events in October about my drinking & recovery story. I need to deliver a presentation about myself articulately and entertainingly. I want to be prepared so I started working on my presentation last night. I'll keep honing it until I think it's ready…

* I am going to stay busy over at Living Sober communicating with others in the Members Feed.. keeping an eye on all the interactions to make sure everyone is being lovely (they are! Not one bit of nastiness or snippiness.. it's an amazing, amazing, amazingly kind and supportive space. It's working so well I'm blown away and so happy). And I'll keep posting on my blog there with interesting discussion points..

* I'll pop in here to keep an eye on other sober blogs and to update this my 'warm bath' blog which feels much more personal and intimate (weird I know given this blog is open to all just like Living Sober is, but this feels like my space whereas Living Sober feels like a public space and I don't want to make it all about me over there…). All of this online activity, while somewhat my job nowadays, also serves me well in my recovery ..

* And last but not least I'm going to stay very engaged with my three sons who are going to miss their Dad hugely. They are busy, emotional, developing people whom I love to distraction and I want to ensure they stay feeling supported and secure - while also teaching them the importance of HELPING OUT AROUND THE HOUSE!!!!!

And now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go make a green juice. Hopefully I can hold strong to my list of good behaviors for the month!

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. Sounds like a very busy month ahead for you. Good on you planning so that you have coping mechanisms. Good luck on the HELPING OUT AROUND THE HOUSE!! You will have to be mum and dad for a bit as well as having a full time job supporting all those trying to get sober as well as looking after yourself (you are the most important person). Living Sober is a truly wonderful website and I too am blown away at the amount of support. Who would have dreamed it. Lots and lots of members but I suspect many just reading posts etc.. Well done you and look after you - you are needed and loved by all of us xx Cherie

  2. Wow good luck! I am sure you will rock this! The thought of my hubby leaving for a month gives me major anxiety. Thank goodness his job ties him here lol. You are so right about diet making a huge difference in how you feel. Once you eat clean for a while you feel an enormous difference after cheat meals. That and exercise have totally changed my body and moods.

  3. What a great motivational beginning to the new week, Mrs D. Best wishes for the month. Even though you'll all be missing Mr D, there is always a change of dynamics when one is away and its usually rewarding.
    The healthy food things a great motivating force, I've joined on line weightwatchers and feel so much better about things, like a double good whammy

  4. Sorry to hear you've been unwell, MrsD- make sure you look after yourself, you and your family come first. Totally with you on the tidying thing - I can't function in mess ( although husband and 2 sons don't have that problem!) Have you read Sarah Wilson's " I Beat Sugar"? It's a good read and that and the follow up have excellent sugar free recipes. Big Hug.

  5. You never cease to amaze me Mrs D. Power to ya xo

  6. How coincidental you should write about husband absence as I face my first night of absence this week. Historically, this would have definitely constituted at least one bottle of wine, a very late night to induce exhaustion so I could sleep through the fear and a middle of the night wake, and finally some early morning sleep as 5am ticked over and finally I felt it was close enough to daylight to rest easily. You can imagine the result if he ever went away for more than a couple of nights at a time! Go your list but remember solo parenting takes it toll (I have oft said they deserve a medal), so ease up a bit to compensate. Almond milk is nice, particularly the sweet one! I do oat milk because I like the creamier version of a diary alternative. Almond milk coagulates in coffee FYI.

  7. Mrs.D,

    Wowza lady-awesome plan-you are a machine!!

    Good luck with training the minions to help. Mine like the glamour jobs, hoovering etc......if they must do anything that is!!!!


  8. Wow, wonderful plan Lotta. And remember, in all of this - make sure you rest too! I gave up sugar in January this year (I now have a little dark chocolate every day and that's about it) - and boy did it change how I feel. I was such a sugarholic though, consuming huge amounts of it - so might not have same affect on you. One way or another though, eating well makes you feel better :). Keep looking after yourself, you are doing SO much for others right now, its really important that you do xx

  9. You can make it happen!!! I know how stubborn you are when you set your mind to something so this? Piece of cake!



    Good luck my beautiful and brave friend!


  10. Be kind to yourself. Solo parenting is HARD work. Go gently & I love your lists. Get it lady, you are awesome.

  11. Sounds like busy month for you! You are an awesome inspiration! Enjoy your boys.

  12. All very lovely and concrete goals. Love what you say about treating our bodies better (boy do I need to do that). I wish you all the best while your husband is away - your boys are in wonderful hands!

  13. Hiya Mrs D, just finished reading your wonderful it is to be sober, I can relate as I am coming up 7 months in my new sober life.i to love it !!even the lows!!thanks for your honesty😊

  14. Just heard about your book and found your blog. Can't wait to read more! I'm 4 months sober and posting via my anonymous blog as I'm not "out" yet on my public blog. Good luck on your upcoming speaking gigs!