Monday, September 7, 2015

Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.

Back from the addictions conference. I LOVED it!! My first ever conference and I was totally into the whole name badge/presentations/endless yummy food/stimulating people vibe. The addiction sector in NZ is full of lovely warm, kind & hardworking people and I chatted happily with many of them. Also sat in on loads of interesting talks, cried, sang, danced, and ate. Did I mention the endless yummy food?!

I gave my talk on the last afternoon and think it went well. Hard to know - feedback was good ... although no-one is going to come up to me afterwards and say "that was shit" are they? But I felt good and calm in my brain and happy to be telling my story and informing these lovely practitioners about our amazing website.

The local paper did a story on my presentation which has just been published online here. Wish I'd brushed my hair for the photo!

Flew home after 3 full on days and was so happy to get back to my domesticated reality. Yesterday was Fathers Day AND my four year soberversary! The boys bought us breakfast in bed which was cute and then we spent a nice family day together.

Today we are back into a normal week with school, work, dog walking, supermarket shopping, cooking, playing games, washing clothes, etc etc yadda yadda. Normal yet so fundamentally glorious.

I do not drink.

I don't waste any more time worrying about my drinking.

I don't wake up at 3am any more beating myself up for having over indulged the night before.

I am no longer a stranger to my emotions. I hate sadness but know that it heals. I'm uncomfortable with anger but know that it is a normal human reaction. I loath stress but now have far more effective ways to minimise it.

One of the speakers put up a slide last week which said 'Life is pain, but not accepting that pain is suffering'. Put that another way - pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.

Thank goodness I started figuring this out four years ago.

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. Happy soberversary, Mrs. D !!

  2. Hi Mrs D,
    You really disguised it in there - 4 years! Awesome achievement! We had father's day here too and my 2.5 year old sang me happy birthday - why is there no song for Father's Day?

  3. 27tryingtogetawayfromtheboozeSeptember 7, 2015 at 5:56 PM

    Hey mrs D im currently readig your book. My counslier gave it to me. Im still drinking but have been finding the courage not to drink as much. Unfortunately im from the generation of binge drinkers cant go have one or two. Going out to get absolutely wasted. And thats me.... ota hard working in the industry as well.... it doesnt really matter how much you try to get away from it... its always there. I had my first time uve been out for dinner as the sober driver this weekend was definatly a different experience. Was nice! Fingers crossed more times like that. Your book has been such an inspiration! Ans its real! Thanks you so much

  4. HUGE congrats on 4 years Mrs D!! :) So true that saying about pain and suffering xx

  5. That's a terrific photo -- you look so happy and real. Congrats on four years, and thanks for your blog!

  6. Four years already! That's brilliant. Sounds like a great community-building conference

  7. love the photo too - I didn't notice the hair, just the twinkle in your eye :) congratulations on your four years. I'm at 22 months sober now and so I've been following your journey for all that time - it's been fantastic to see all you have achieved, but I think the ultimate accolade must be being able to say how deep-down wonderful your ordinary life has become. with great respect and affection, Prim xx

  8. Finally! Don't drink again .. just a waste of money, time and health. Live is way too short to drink. Aaaand its poison. Haha.

    Greez PrimaDonna

  9. Happy 4th! I'm right behind you in a few days. Let's eat big bowls of ice cream with topping, shall we?
    The article was glowing and so are you. Do you have any idea of the good you have done, my friend? You're amazeballs!

  10. What an awesome quote! I need that sucker right on my bulletin board here at work. So glad your conference went well. Saw your picture on FB and I think you looked beautiful. Just sayin'.


  11. You are SUCH a beacon of hope and light!
    Congratulations on 4 years!
    You look radiant!!

  12. Hi Mrs D. My counselor went to the conference on the weekend too. She said you were her favorite speaker and recommended our group check out your blog. So happy to be here! She's was right. This is awesome.

  13. Suffering is optional but yet we love to self-induce it. Congrats on 4 amazing years.
    The photo is great by the way.

  14. Greetings from Auckland. You are an inspiration.