Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Sometimes I wish....

Sometimes I wish I lived in a country which wasn't so booze soaked.

Sometimes I wish I lived in a country where daily habitual drinking wasn't the norm.

Sometimes I wish I lived in a country where every social event wasn't liquored up. Where people didn't get steadily more slurry and blurry as the night goes on.

Sometimes I wish I lived in a country full of people who enjoyed having a clear head ... not people who embraced imbibing alcohol all the time and all that comes with that.

Sometimes I wish I lived in a country where the wine and beer wasn't sold in my supermarket right next to the bread and cheese. This is not an issue of being tempted... it's the message that is being sent by having that liquid drug treated as an ordinary commodity. It's the message that selling alcohol with groceries sends to all the many people who struggle to control it.

The message I hear every time I walk past the booze section is 'don't know what your problem is...we're all fine with this stuff'.

The problem is we're NOT all fine with it. There are HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS of people in this country who are not fine with alcohol ... people who are locked in a fierce internal struggle with themselves about trying to control and moderate it. I know this because I talk to them every day at Living Sober.

In fact if I could do one thing I'd take the bloody beer and wine out of the supermarkets and have it sold only in specialised shops. It would be nice for me if that happened...but it would be really, really, really nice for the people who are still trying to fix their relationship with it.

Anyway back to what I wish.

Sometimes I wish I lived in a country where I wasn't the odd one out for not drinking. I wish I lived in a country where not drinking was the norm and people who imbibed booze regularly were the odd ones out.

Most of the time I'm fine with being the odd one out because I love being sober and I so appreciate my clear head and I love feeling so much more connected with my fellow human beings, and I am so so so happy and proud of myself for turning my life around, and I adore feeling like a fully realised and properly grounded human being, and I am delighted with my incredibly enriched internal life.

But sometimes I wish I lived in a country that was full of people who appreciated the same things.

Just sometimes.

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. I love I'm a country where you can't buy booze at the supermarket, but there's a liquor store in every strip mall. It's insidious. It makes me sad too.

    In the end, I know I have chosen the right path for me. I have inner peace. Joy. I wish everyone could see that, but that is not my role. My role is to make myself happy and to love my life as well as I can.

    Funny, when I read the title my first thought was that you were wishing you could drink. How silly.

    Why would you wish for that?

    You are doing an awesome thing here. Give yourself a big high five.


  2. Just echoing Anne - Canada doesn't sell booze in the supermarket, but it is REALLY easy to purchase. I suspect that there are far more people than you think in your country who would love to be where you are...but don't have the courage to take the plunge into a sober life. I think you are reaching them..xxxx

  3. There are cigarettes there too and they don't bother us but plenty of people buy them. Booze sends us a special message and tells us we're weird. We can only do what we can do. DR x

  4. Yeah, it is strange. I have looked at the people buying alcohol at 'my' grocery store and well, none of them actually looks comfortable. They all have the 'trying to hide the stealth look.' :-( Saddens me. Been there, done that.
    Btw: Sweden has government owned liquor stores but still a drinking issue as a country but they say that is because the lack of sun/vitamin D is causing depression. Dunno, I think our perception is off. But we could.... always move to a moslim country :-). I actually quit because my Muslim GP at the time was willing to help me and followed up. That was the 5th medical person and the 3rd GP I told about my drinking. The rest just waved it away. So yes, I am happy about her different view of alcohol. :-)
    xx, Feeling

  5. I wish that New Zealand was already that country that you wish for Mrs D. It isn't yet, and the transformation will take a very long time. However, I am very proud to be part of the beginning of the change. Slowly but surely there is a movement towards alcohol free being the cool thing. More and more bars are supplying cool soda syrups and mocktails and slowly there is more awareness. And through my son I am seeing it in the younger hip hop community also. The young will have a huge voice and influence in this. I think we are living in exciting times and that we are all pioneers of changing the thinking, in our many different cultures and countries. Like I say it will take a while but it has started. Drinking will soon be frowned upon as unenlightened the way smoking has become uncool. For us in New Zealand, and for many elsewhere as well, YOU started this. Thank you for that. It is not always easy to swim against the tide, but I am proud to be a part of this small and very positive change in our society. Thank you Lotta xo

  6. Like you most times I'm not bothered. But the other evening I was driving home and needed to fill up with Diesel so I pulled into a small petrol station and shop near where I live. I filled up and went in. There was a guy being served in front of me, he'd just filled his car up too. The girl serving him just handed him a 1 litre bottle of scotch. Why should booze even be on sale somewhere that is primarily for filling your car with fuel? Of course then I've noticed it and when she said "And anything else?" after I gave her my pump number I'm thinking "She can see I'm an alcoholic!" Nuts

  7. I've been sober for only about 7 weeks now. I noticed yesterday at the grocery store that you see the liquor section as soon as you walk in, and you have to pass it again as you're leaving. They keep the area well lit and sparkling clean. They make it look so innocuous and inviting.

  8. I have the same wishes and I live in the US,. The latest Campbell's Soup commercial talks about a snow storm and the schools being closed. Shows a young mom buying lots of soup and a bottle of wine on the way out the door when it's announced the schools will be closed. Fucking great message we send to the world and this is a soup commercial! Sad.

  9. the thing is I believe we do live in a country that isn't booze soaked and that is full of like minded people. They may have had a tough journey getting here sure but I think there are far more of us than we know, yet anyway. Booze fuelled stuff is in so many places true but there are equally as many places where it isn't. Booze stuff also stands out for us, due to past experience it's like a red flag. But you know, there is so much that isn't booze and I love seeing that.

  10. It is interesting that there are a lot of people that don't drink in the US, but I never see them. At restaurants, I only see people drinking.
    Except at McDonalds type.
    I am happy I don't drink!

  11. I'm with you on this. Sometimes it seems like the booze is everywhere. I've even learned to steel myself when I'm reading a mystery, because in many books the characters drink frequently and at least one character will drink a lot without any complications! But lately I am finding that events aren't as focused on drink as I used to think. I'm in Canada, and I think we have pockets here that are less culturally boozy than NZ. Anyway, I'm awfully glad you're here doing what you do and showing an alternative to the booze-soaked life! xo

  12. In Colorado (U.S.) we can't buy alcohol in grocery stores and only in the last few years has it been legal to purchase at a liquor store on Sundays. We have one of the highest rates of alcohol related deaths in the country anyhow... http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/26/alcohol-deaths-states-us_n_5532034.html

  13. I am so happy to have found your blog this morning. I, too, would love a society that didn't treat booze as some innocuous substance, to be shelved with the other essentials in the supermarket. Both of my parents are daily drinkers and mom, in particular, has push/pull relationship with the bottle. There is no such thing as moderation for her...or me. After one drink, more seems like a great idea. I inherited mom's inability to metabolize booze well, and manage to get drunk, words starting to slur and balance going, by the second drink. The hangovers are ferocious and the next day it's all regret, shame, depression and a bloated, puffy face for me. Did I mention I'm in the health/fitness industry? Pile on the extra guilt and shame. Several years ago, I gave up booze for an entire year. And it felt great. I am headed back to another booze-free year (or more?) this month. Thanks for your blog and the support it provides!

  14. Keep visualizing Lotta. It will happen, it's just going to take time. There are more and more people who are interested in keeping their heads on straight. I live in Germany now and hang out with people who just don't drink, or maybe have one drink once a month. Like really, on a special occasion or something. And there are pockets of the US too, I've read, that are more interested in getting to know people with clear heads than doing the happy hour thing. Slowly, slowly goes the change. But that's how good change sticks I think.