Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Making Recovery Visible..

I've been in two mainstream media stories recently focused on sobriety and recovery.

One was a newspaper story headlined "High-functioning alcoholics: A hidden hell". The article carried the story of three of us former heavy drinkers now living sober. The link to the article is here.

The other was a TV item on a popular nightly news programme. They called the piece "Quitting drinking for good: The stories from those who've done it." The story featured me and one other sober woman talking about how happy we are now that we've stopped drinking, plus a psychologist on how she reckons New Zealanders are dialing back on their drinking. The link to the item is here (ignore the presenter's defensive and egocentric comments at the end - says more about him than anything).

Nothing could detract from the fact that these smiling faces of happy non-drinkers were featured prominently on prime-time tele.

These are powerful images. Happy non-drinkers. Happy people in recovery. Happy people who were formerly miserable because of alcohol. Happy. Happy. Happy.

Both stories - but particularly the TV one (such is the power of that medium) - had a big impact. Visitors to my blog spiked. I had loads of interactions on my social media accounts. Hits on Living Sober exploded and we had a MASSIVE influx of new members.

This is called Making Recovery Visible. This is why I do all that I do. To reach out via whatever means available to let people know you CAN get free. You CAN rid yourself from that misery and guilt. You CAN retrain your brain not to miss that liquid.

Recovery is possible, attainable, desirable, and great.

You WILL get to a place where 5pm rolls around with little or no fanfare (and no booze ever!). You WILL get to a place where you trust yourself again. You WILL get to a place where you love yourself again. And best of all.. you WILL finish your life discovering who you really are.

That's the best bit. Through all of the hard work and tears, through all of the anger, sadness, boredom, and angst, through all of the joy, delight, satisfaction, and pride.. you will discover who you really are.

And what better respect can you pay to your one wild and precious life than that?

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. I couldn't agree more! I keep saying this but I'm so grateful for you and others showing that there is a way out of the awful life that drinking to much brings, and hat way doesn't mean keeping mired in an addiction story. Many thanks to you for this! I really love the way you say, "Never!" in the video clip! xo

  2. I don't think Hoskings is having just one glass a night.

  3. Thank you SO much! I found your blog today, divine intervention because I needed it. It gave me a sense of peace right away.

  4. I just celebrated nine years sober the other day and although I have chosen anonymity rather than public visibility, I know that the example of someone just getting on with a sober, creative, thoughtful and satisfactory life is an ongoing example to those around me that it is so possible to set alcohol aside and find something better, every single day for the rest of your life.

    Love the example you're setting for so many...

  5. Fantastic Lotta! Great news xx

  6. Dear Mrs. D,
    Thank you for being such a wonderful, positive sober person!
    The stories were very cool!

  7. That phrase "your one precious and wild life" has been running through my mind all day during a slightly tough day at work. If that were the one benefit, to truly be friends with yourself, accepting, compassionate, not in a constant mental battle, it would be so worth it to stay sober. But there's also so many side benefits. Thanks for being there, and inspiring in word and actions. xo

  8. I gave up alcohol 6 months ago. I had been moderating for years and finally came to the discovery that I couldn't handle the mental gymnastics anymore. Alcohol was setting me back from moving forward.

    To make a life altering change is not a cake-walk. It takes commitment, heart-ache, self-love and resources of encouragement, such as this incredible forum.

    Becoming vulnerable and peeling away pride is living authentically. I have never experienced such direction in life, more opportunities to give back to others or greater compassion.

    Whether your set-back is alcohol or anything else you use to 'numb' your past or current life circumstance, there is hope, a renewed life and joy awaiting you.

    Give yourself a gift and live the life you were meant to.

    Thrive on!!


  9. "Recovery is possible, attainable, desirable, and great"
    Today is Day 47 for me. For some reason it was a really hard day…full of cravings. Thank you for the above words. I will carve them into my brain!

  10. Making recovery visible....this is why I keep speaking out. So that other parents know they aren't alone. Thank you for popping in over at my blog and letting me know you were there. It was so good to see your name pop up! ❤️

  11. What wonderful outlets you found for your story. And what a story. What an inspiration! You do so much for the recovery community. Thank you thank you! Thank you.

  12. Great post...."mental gymnastics" describes the battle perfectly! It became exhausting. Striving for positive thoughts with my newly uncluttered mind. For me the power of prayer has carried me. God bless you for sharing!

  13. Dear Mrs D,
    I recently came across your blog as I scoured the internet for ways to combat my wine demons and find your story and writing fascinating. I've been all the way to the start of your blog looking in earnest as to how you managed to "give up" "quit" or basically just stop, as I too easily wash down a bottle a night and so many websites talk about withdrawal symptoms etc but other than your sheer determination I can't seem to find anything on that or how to actally start of. Any advice from you or anybody else out there, as although I'm a Brit with a wine problem, I live in Italy....which despite having an excessive supply of the stuff doesn't have a support community for women afflicted like me, hence my good friend the net.

  14. Mike Hoskings was funny. The tv interview created such a wonderful bubble. A whole new lifestyle possibility with ballsy woman leading the charge...and he says: 'yeah but it would be boring.' There he was holding a pin. Bless him. Luckily, nothing will stop the groundswell, the legitimacy of our choice. I would never have been able to do this a few years ago. It wasn't normal or legitimate. Now this tribe makes it possible, easier...even fun! I'll drink to that. Lemon and soda! :)

  15. I, too, think they will eventually come to terms with the fact that life does go on without booze. When 5pm rolls around and they are sober, so many new exciting opportunities are going to be presented to them that they don't see when they are drinking. Everyone comes to terms with their drinking eventually, some of us longer than others.