Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Will I stop blogging?

I don't know what I would do without my lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely online tribe of people who just get what it is like to live sober in a boozy world.

I don't know what I would do.

In particular the tribe of lovely people who are registered at the Living Sober website. Every single day I am popping in and out of the Members Feed in the Community Area on that site reading the incredibly honest and gritty and inspiring and heartening updates they are writing, and I am communicating back with them, and we're all just talking to one another day-in-day out and it's great. Seriously great. I need it.

I need this blog too - my 'warm bath' as I like to think of it. Writing posts here is always grounding for me and I tend to come out with my truth sometimes without even planning on what I am going to write. Someone asked on a recent post if I might stop blogging soon because life is just continuing on and doesn't need to be so much about being sober does it? (I think that was the question.. something like that anyway).

One day I'll probably stop blogging, and Tweeting and Instagramming and Facebooking. I'll stop all of it and retreat from the internet entirely. I look forward to that day as I know it will feel right when it happens. But it doesn't feel right right now!

It's been quite a social time for me lately and the next few weeks are just as busy. Not sure what's changed in my life that I've suddenly got more parties and gatherings and dinners and fundraising nights and stuff to go to.. but I have.

It's all good, it's good getting out and amongst it, being social and busy. Always good to be reminded of what it's like out in the community at night (and not just what it's like in my house in the evenings which by the way is very lovely and calm and cosy thank you very much).

Sober lady moving around a boozy world. Offering to drive friends to events, serving wine to guests while supping an elderflower cordial myself, ordering "soda with fresh lime please" from the barman, making cups of tea to drink late in the evening at house parties, dancing in the dark with a clear head at concerts.

This is what I do now.

Not drinking, getting sloppy, vomiting, falling over, drinking more, feeling miserable, feeling sick, being sloppy, opening more wine, drinking, drinking, drinking, saying things I regret, doing embarrassing things, drinking more, being numb to my feelings, vomiting, falling over, drinking, drinking, drinking.

I am so profoundly grateful for my sobriety. I will never go back to that old way of living. NEVER.

Love, Mrs D xxx

7 comments:

  1. Mrs D, I'm always glad you're here! It's such a relief to still be hearing from long-term sober people, both to see that life really does get better and to see that there are always going to be challenges. I hope you're enjoying the social flurry! xo

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well, I'll always want to read whatever you write, Mrs D. I like blogging and it is one of those creative habits I do as a matter of course, but after six years sober I felt I had said all I had to say about getting sober.

    Living sober meant my life filled up with other concerns and issues and I began writing about new and different topics, ad hoc, ordinary, momentous, quirky. But all of it based on the simple reality of what sobriety offers us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So well said Mary LA ;)

      Delete
    2. I am always excited to see a new blog from you Mrs. D and read it right away! As I have mentioned before I am in the AA program and they push sharing our experience, strengh and hope. We share what we were like, what brought us to the program and what we are like now. I go to meetings and keep coming back to Mrs. D's blog to remind myself I do not want to ever go back to that dark place in my life. Being sober has given me everything I was missing and lost when I was drinking. Once we start feeling that we got this sober thing and we don't need meetings or blog with other sober people is the day we will go back out and drink.

      Delete
  3. The soberverse is such a comfort and exactly what I need too. I'm glad that you are a part of it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Me either!!
    Never going back!!
    Thank you for showing us how to be sober with gusto!!
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  5. I look at blogging as part service, part self serving.
    If anyone is helped by my writing I am humbled and thankful.
    Reading others blogs keeps the struggle fresh, as well as they joys and celebrations of long term sobriety.

    It is very much a warm bath.
    Anne

    ReplyDelete