Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Proud and tired and messy and alive.

I delivered my manuscript!!!!!!! Oh the relief!!! Job done. Well - there's still quite a bit to do but the BIG job is done which is figuring out the structure of the book, what I wanted to say, how I wanted to say it, then saying it in 60,000 words. Hours and hours and hours I have spent sitting at my laptop writing.

Now it'll be edited and checked and proof read and checked and typeset and checked and then published in the middle of next year.

After I delivered it I felt really strange. After having this writing project as a constant pressure in my life for many months having it gone is weird. I felt directionless for a day or two. But still busy with household and kid and work stuff. Then I got super exhausted and grumpy. Still really busy. And then teary - this morning I had a wee cry on Mr D.

But after the tears I felt a wee bit better. Tears are little messages from the soul, and the are healing. Finally now after many years of sobriety I can see that feeling a full range of emotions is necessary. As much as I dislike anger and sadness they are there for a reason (go watch Inside Out if you want to know why!! Great movie).

Anyway, so now there is a bunch of stuff to do before school ends and we head into Christmas and New Years and the long summer holidays. I have a huge list to check off, about to head into town to get shit done.

I have no big worries about the Silly Season ahead. Not concerned about other peoples drinking. Not hung up about me not drinking. Just ordinary sober me forging ahead with plans and celebrations.

I love being sober. Even when I am crying or feeling grumpy or just plain exhausted and worn out I love being sober. I love being authentic and fully alive to all the sensations of being a human. I love being opened up to so many new ways of thinking about life and having many new super-powerful and grounding tools and techniques to draw from when the going gets tough (all charted in my new book). When I was boozing I was very narrow in my thinking and closed off to much of my experiences. Now I am wide fucking open - raw, real, and recovered. Sober.

Sober Mrs D closing off 2016 proud and tired and messy and alive.

Wouldn't want it any other way.

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. Just what I needed to read this morning as I felt another wave of feelings of sadness,shame,anger over recent life events. That is so cool to tell myself that I am feeling these emotions sober and in doing that I was able to draw back from them a bit and see them for what they are. Not blurred and fucked up. Also I know when I go to the youngest prize giving on Friday I can feel that pride in him pour through my body without a hangover. Can't wait to buy then new book xx

  2. Congratulations - what an achievement and now you can have a week off - then start on book 3. OK?
    Just kidding - you must be so excited to have done this and I bet your family is super proud of you too!!
    M xxx

  3. Congrats Mrs D on a huge achievement! You've earned the big break coming your way :) xx

  4. Yesterday I got my hangover butt out of bed got my baby sorted and heading into town to buy your book....first book store didnt have it...which i took as a sign maybe im not that bad but i pressed on.
    2nd one did i felt weird asking for it anyway i bought it and allan carrs one....read yours all day yesterday.
    First time ive really sat down and relaxed read the whole thing i laughed cried and fully related.
    I to am a mother of 3 boys and a 5 o'clock drinker too. I really related to filling the space, party always at ours and probably not feeling my true feelings. Last night i got up to feed our 5 month old bottle baby...so mummy can enjoy her bubbles ��...anyway it was so nice to be clear headed and not having the conversation with myself again and again not tomorrow and the terrible guilt.
    Day 2 today I'm on my way to a better clearer fuller richer alcohol free life let the journey begin!!!
    Thankyou for your amazing book ������

  5. Congrats on finishing the big project, Mrs D! You're an inspiration once again! xo

  6. Dear Mrs D, I love your blog. I get a little buzz every time I see it come up in my inbox. Thanks for switching me on to Tara Brach. I'm living on a remote Pacific Island and was pretty down but am seeing a while new way if living through Tara.
    Cheers Janet

  7. You have done a great job...Its really inspiring big congratulations for your achievement...