Thursday, April 4, 2013

All good....

Back into the routine (drinking a green juice as I type!) and feeling calm, a bit low key but good. The Easter holiday went well, the kids had a great time, I reconnected with lots of my family and that is important to do each year, and for the most part it was great.

Yes I struggled being around people boozing all weekend, as any fairly new sober person would do. And yes it caused me some grief and tears, but that is my cross to bear for the choice I have made with my life. Everyone has shit to deal with. I'd rather deal with the shit caused by adjusting to living sober than any other shit.

Just plowed through Clarissa Dickson Wright's memoir "Spilling the Beans". She's a famous British chef and was a terrible alcoholic who got sober. She writes without a doubt one of the best descriptions I've ever read of the rehab process, getting sober and living sober. Clearly spelt out, brilliantly understood and articulated. She's a 12-stepper (which I'm not) and I've never had the steps explored and explained so well. I recommend it heartily!

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. I'm glad you're settling back in. Green juice is magic.

  2. I can't wait to read that book. I love the Green juice.

  3. I will definitely read it! I love a good "drunk" book.

    Glad you're back and feeling better.


  4. You put it really well Mrs D. I've had to come to terms with the idea that I will never be 'normal' (whatever that is). Managing my alcoholism will always be the main concern of my life. It has to be because without sobriety I won't have a life.

    But unlike other forms of disability it is invisible and no one except someone who has done the same thing can ever know what it costs.

    Even my DH makes comments sometimes that make me realise that he thinks I just stopped drinking. He seems to have no idea of what it means not drinking one day at at time.

    But if I have to have a chronic illness I am a lot better off than some. I can pass as 'normal' and I can do everything I want to do. Except drink. I have a wonderful life.

    In the early days I used to hear the oldtimers say 'putting down the drink is the easy bit' and wonder what they meant. I know now.

    Congratulations on remaining sober Mrs D and thanks for your blogging. I will get the Clarissa D-W book as well. I knew she had a problem but didn't know she was a 12 stepper and had written a book.

  5. Again, Mrs D, you have it so right... the others just don't know what it takes to live this new life. And yes, its now more about how to live life sober rather than avoiding the alcohol. All those emotions that go with it... jealousy that others can drink in moderation, sadness that we make ourselves feel like we don't fit in the group, growing wisdom that this is not just something we will 'get over'...I think I might feel that awkwardness at events for the rest of my life. But... it is what it is and I am soooo thankful for my sobriety! Because of it, I also feel STRONG... If I could give up wine...I can do anything...ANYTHING! One day at a time!