Packing the suitcases to go away for an extended family get-together over Easter.
Three years ago I wrote myself off so badly on the first night I started spinning out at the dinner table and could barely make it to our bedroom (where the kids were asleep). It was a shocker. I spent the rest of the holiday beating myself up about it, feeling terribly dysfunctional but still drinking of course. It was probably around that time that I was starting to work towards full admission (to myself) of my drinking and educating myself, building towards giving up.
Two years ago I was still drinking and remember trying very very hard all weekend to moderate, and managing it, but it took a lot of effort. I was proud of myself though, that I hadn't replicated the bender from the year before. Still had hangovers, but milder ones.
One year ago I was newly sober. Bright, shiny new sober me. I'd lost quite a lot of weight, put a lot of thought into what clothes to pack and made sure I had my nails painted before hand. I felt great and looked great. It was a wonderful holiday and I was so happy to be sober and so happy to wake up every morning hangover free. I did feel like my sobriety was a bit of a gorilla suit though. Strange and obvious.
So this year it's my second sober Easter with the family and although I do still feel like my sobriety is a bit of a gorilla suit I'm a lot calmer about where I'm at. I'm still delighted to be heading away without having to worry or plan or be careful. I still can't wait to wake up every morning with no hangover. I trust in the knowledge that I'm not actually missing out on anything by not drinking - the big communal dinners are just as fun and lovely without me downing wines (and certainly without the spinning out of 3 years ago).
Been getting a few comments about the juicing. Me an expert juicer - ha! I still can't believe I'm doing all this healthy stuff but I suppose it's the way a lot of us go as we get older and enter the second half of our lives. Thinking about what we're putting in our bodies etc.
Anyway the main juice recipe I've been making I got from our local paper - it's a basic green juice. 4 kale leaves, 1/2 cucumber, 2-3 celery sticks, 1-2 apples, 1/2 lemon and 1cm piece of ginger. You have to trim the skin off the lemon and ginger but not the apple or cucumber (if it's an edible skin). The kale comes out dark green but all the other stuff gives it a yum flavour. Easy to drink, honestly.
I also borrowed a book from a friend called "Raw Juices Can Save Your Life!" by Dr Sandra Cabot. She's a total fanatic and gives recipes for special juices for depression, headaches, insomnia etc, plus just tasty pick-me ups. Also isn't Jason Vale the big juice guru? He does call himself the Juice Master so I guess he is..! He's got recipes on his website here.
My machine is a compact one and there is a lot of waste left over. Maybe the big grunty machines do a better job. Get juicing people! Yesterday I had just orange juice with ginger. Definitely makes you feel good.
Righto, off on holiday. Happy Easter everyone!!
Love, Mrs D xxx
Happy Easter to you! I'm so afraid that the newness of sobriety is going to wear off, that I'm going to wake up someday and not remember to be thankful.
ReplyDeleteIt's up to us to keep it new and wonderful, it's up to us to make every day Easter.
We can do it.
What an amazing change! I hoped you have an awesome Easter this year too! It has only been recently when my sobriety doesn't feel like a gorilla suit! - lol! That's when I have to remember how it used to be - I think I'll take the gorilla suit, lol!
ReplyDeleteI love that gorilla suit image...ha ha. But I know exactly what you mean. I think it was about a year or so when I felt I could shed that thing. It feels normal to me now...I couldn't even imagine what a drink would be like for me now. Death, no doubt.
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful Easter - don't accidentally get the Bunny in the juicer!
Have a lovely holiday, you deserve it. Sure you are lookng even more lovely this year with all the healthy juicing! xx
ReplyDeleteIt's lovely to be present and not hung over.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great reminder!!
Not missing a thing by not drinking this weekend...
Hubby has been making me a great green juice and it makes me feel really good. I am all about the juicing!!
Happy Easter
Jenny
One of the things i'm most grateful for in my sobriety is the attention i can give to my kids during holidays now. Thanks for reminding me of that with this post!
ReplyDeleteAha. Finally some juice resources. (Earlier this week I posted a question on my Facebook page asking for juice resources and my beloved smartass friend Hall told me, "Plug in juicer. Put some shit in big container. Press button.") I've known about Sandra Cabot for a long time and would love to go back on her liver-cleansing diet because I think my pain-in-the-ass perimenopausal problems are all down to "tired liver," but unfortunately I do love chocolate. I think I have to set a date and just keep the commitment. Meanwhile I bought a nice juicer and want to start drinking awesome juices. Thanks for the recipe contained in this post. Especially because it contains ginger. I'll start with it. Happy Easter Mrs. D /Guinevere
ReplyDeleteHi Mrs D...I'm a little behind on your blog...but today I am catching up. I love that you wrote about Easter...this Easter had a special meaning to me also! It's the first sober Easter I have had in 13 years. Plus, for the last few years of trying to get a handle on my 'more and more out of control drinking'...I had given up alcohol for lent. I did this about 3 yrs in a row..maybe 4. It was awful. I got about 2wks in an then couldn't wait for it to be over and made all kinds of excuses...such as 'you can have what you gave up on Sundays' well, that just made it harder. This year, being almost 6 months sober by the time Lent hit, I was in a much better place. So this year I gave up swearing. That was as hard as giving up alcohol! I wasn't successful...sometimes the 'f' word just makes you feel better! ha ha. So anyway, I got to Easter this time without all the stress of years past! Ahhhhhhh being sober is so much better!
ReplyDelete