I received a comment on my last post. It reads: "Hey, Mrs D! I think it's awesome that you're able to stay sober and remain happy. Many of my friends think that soberness equals misery. Do you have any suggestions that I could give them to find happiness?"
I understand why your friends think like that because I did too.
I was hard wired to believe all these bullshit things about booze. That it was the best way to relax. That it was the best way to celebrate. That it was the best way to show that you are a good host. That it was the best way to bond with friends. That it was the best way to enjoy a wedding. That it was the best way to commiserate.
And so of course when I took the booze away I feared my life would become miserable and I would be a boring sober loser forever more. Of course I believed that because I gave alcohol so much goddamn power!!!!
I gave a stupid toxic liquid all the power to make my life rich and fulfilling and enjoyable and satisfying and meaningful and fun.
Now after 3+ years of living sober I think back to all the bullshit beliefs I had about alcohol, and I look back at all the power I gave that brain-bending shit, and I feel a bit ridiculous that I felt that way.
Sober does not = misery. Sober just = not drinking alcohol.
Now when I have fun it's authentic fun that comes from a deep place within me. I'm happy because my friends are the right kind of people for me and they make me feel good. I'm relaxed because I'm not at work or I'm focusing on genuine things that trigger the pleasure receptors in my brain. I'm joyous because there's great music playing or I've heard some happy news or achieved a fulfilling milestone. I'm feeling loved-up because I'm surrounded by people I love.
Most of all I feel proud, strong, calm and happy. Did I mention genuine and authentic?
Sober does not = misery. Sober just = not drinking alcohol.
If anyone thinks any different they've clearly still got a bit of brain re-training to do! I've done this brain re-training, and I've turned my thinking completely around. It can be done. And I heartily recommend it.
Love, Mrs D xxx
Awesome post Mrs D!! I should print it out and put it up somewhere so I can remind myself why booze is no good and that living sober does not mean that you have to live a miserable boring life. Thanks! A x
ReplyDeleteI so needed this post. Thank you for posting it. I catch myself all the time thinking that without booze there is not fun. Not true!
ReplyDeleteSobriety delivers everything alcohol promised! ;) xx
ReplyDeleteTo be honest I was more a morose, miserable drunk than a bubbly, funny drunk anyway. Taking away the booze has helped me be less of a curmudgeon - though if I'm truthful it is probably my more natural stance!
ReplyDeleteHi Mrs D! I just wanted to thank you - for your blog and your book, which I have found a huge support and inspiration. My story is very similar to yours. For two decades I was a work hard, play hard, drink loads advertising chick, then I gave up work to raise 3 children and the drink escalated. I realised that I no longer recognised myself. I'd always been so powerful, but had become so pathetically weak! I gave up (with your help) 66 days ago and have found blogging hugely helpful. If you get a chance to check out my blog it's www.mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com Thanks for everything. SM x
ReplyDeleteThank you for this post! I am on day 24 of not drinking and I am realizing that I am having way more fun without alcohol. Last weekend I had two social engagements. I didn't drink at all. I laughed more with my friends. I listened better. I was actually funnier too! All without alcohol. I too am heartily recommending it. Thanks for your blog. I love it
ReplyDeleteBrilliant post Mrs D. Read your book and loved it and today is my second day AF after a disastrous and embarrassing weekend. Well said.
ReplyDeleteDear Mrs. D,
ReplyDeleteI so love this!
I am 8 months sober today!
I haven't quite gotten to where you are in my mental game, but getting closer!
Thank you!
Wendy
I've come to believe that alcohol is actually a hungry little ogre that stomps around in our brain, yelling out "Bullshit" every time we try to feel better about ourselves, every time we think that maybe we should try to live without alcohol. He's a desperate little creep because he needs the booze to survive, if we quit feeding him, he dies.
ReplyDeleteI love the simple of this! You are right on. xxxooo
ReplyDeleteBrilliant post and a great thing said by you. I have never read this kind of blog before on addiction.
ReplyDelete