I got breathalysed on the way to a party last night!!! I was so ridiculously happy when I turned the corner and saw the cops pulling people over. I resisted the urge to burble to the officer that I was sober and this was a real highlight but I did have a huge grin on my face the entire time I counted to 10 into his little handheld machine.
Very satisfied to see the 'No Alcohol' show up. Result!
The party was fun, I had some lovely chats. There was lots of booze and food available - I spotted a bottle of Schweppes 'Soda with a twist of lemon' in the fridge so I opened it and poured some into a champagne flute. I'm getting good at taking full ownership of my drinks - loved holding the flute! Filled it up twice and that was all I needed.
Had a bit of a singalong and boogie with the guys playing guitars. It was fun. Drove home fairly early because Mr D had to catch a flight at 6am this morning. Fell into bed at midnight happy.
Did some people think me boring because I wasn't drinking? Who the hell knows... I just can't care. I have to always keep a clear eye on my big picture which has me infinitely happier now that I'm not that loose and crazy (boozy) party girl.
What would have been different if I'd been drinking at the party last night? I would have probably had one or two at home before we left. I wouldn't have been driving, maybe Mr D would have offered to drive and stay sober because he was working the next day. Or maybe we would have caught a taxi and that would have cost a bit of extra dosh because the party was up the coast at a surf clubrooms.
At the party I would have had a slightly more crazy/edgy energy and might not have concentrated so well during the conversations I had. I might have gotten a little more sloppy & loud... not terribly because I was usually pretty good at keeping it together in public (it was mostly at home where I really let myself get heavily drunk). I certainly would have sunk at least 4 wines.. maybe more.
I don't think on the outside people would have noticed that much difference. It would have been my internal landscape that would have been radically different.
I would have been that 'old' version of myself that didn't feel so in touch with myself or my fellow humans. I would have been that 'unresolved' version of myself that tried to skim across the surface of emotional or 'deep' stuff. That was ok when I lived it but now that I don't live like that any more I am hugely more grounded and happier.
I would have a hangover today and just feel a bit 'blah'. Maybe I'll be regretting something I said or did. I don't feel like that now.
I'm sitting in bed drinking a mug of green tea, watching Top Chef on tele writing a blog post. Soon I'll get the boys off their screens and we'll walk the dog. Later we might go to see Finding Dory at the movies.
It's a good day to be sober.
Love, Mrs D xxx
That must have been so fun, to be breathalysed while being sober. I am happy that you had a lot of fun at the party and that you enjoyed it so much. :O)
ReplyDeleteThis is an inspiring post!! I'm not quite there yet on feeling great about sober parties but I'm happy to know I can get there! Glad you had fun!
ReplyDeleteYour post made me smile, because tonight I drove home from a party and I was HOPING to see a cop and get breathalyzed!!! Is it wrong to be jealous because I didn't get pulled over at a drinking checkpoint? hahaha
ReplyDeleteAhhh...what would it have been like while still drinking?? Yes, 2 while getting ready to go and 1 for the ride.... there would be no party last night for me! A jail cell and silver bracelets at the check point would have been my destiny.... You are right a sober party isn't about the drinks and uncomfortable refills. It's about The Food, seeing old friends and being helpful to the hostess! Waking up feeling good and being able to keep my plans is the best! Thank you for your blog..it helps so much to reflect and keep it real...
ReplyDeleteGood morning, Mrs D!
ReplyDelete(It's evening here so I just assume it's morning down under ... :))
I just wanted to say thank you. Your blog was the first one I read when I decided to go international in my search for help and inspiration.I read the whole thing and it helped me a lot. Made me feel less alone and less ashamed. Thank you so much, dear D.
Wow. You know so some times I almost look forward to being pulled over. I like think to myself "go ahead do it" hoping to be breathalyzed and all the rest. I've been pulled over, never brethalyzed.
ReplyDeleteYay!
ReplyDeleteNot drinking brings such a great peace of mind!
xo
Wendy
What a fantastic way to see the progress made in recovery, albeit a little scary! As long as you didn't get a ticket, it seems like a great night! I stopped drinking at parties years ago, and while everyone thinks me lame at the time, I always get to function the next day. It's the little joys in sobriety that make it all worthwhile.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for this post, Mrs. D. I got a DUI almost five years ago. My "case" is not resolved because I could not stop drinking. After reading your entire blog, I finally got myself sober and am now ready to go back to finish up my case without worrying that they might drug test me and send me back to jail. What a relief! Things are falling into place. What complications alcoholism has brought into my life, but how amazingly better things have become now that the alcohol has been removed. Thanks for all you do!
ReplyDeleteIt was great to read your story! I quit drinking about a year ago as well and I thought I would hate it, but never having to decide if me or my boyfriend was going to drive, never being hungover, and saving tons of money more than made up for any of the imagined downsides of sobriety.
ReplyDeleteEliseo Weinstein @ JR's Bail Bonds
I bet that felt really great! The best feeling in the world is knowing that you have control over your addiction to alcohol and it doesn't have control over you. Addiction never really goes away but it does get easier the more you practice restraint and don't go overboard with the drinking. You can still have fun without losing complete control and feeling like an alcoholic.
ReplyDeleteStephanie Waters @ Chastaine Law
Isn't it amazing how reformed sober women can find heart and joy in the littlest things? I too have noticed those little pleasures that come from living without dependence. I'll have to admit, being breathalyzed, while totally sober and in control, would be a great personal triumph!
ReplyDeleteKim Hunter @ KHunterLaw