I got breathalysed on the way to a party last night!!! I was so ridiculously happy when I turned the corner and saw the cops pulling people over. I resisted the urge to burble to the officer that I was sober and this was a real highlight but I did have a huge grin on my face the entire time I counted to 10 into his little handheld machine.
Very satisfied to see the 'No Alcohol' show up. Result!
The party was fun, I had some lovely chats. There was lots of booze and food available - I spotted a bottle of Schweppes 'Soda with a twist of lemon' in the fridge so I opened it and poured some into a champagne flute. I'm getting good at taking full ownership of my drinks - loved holding the flute! Filled it up twice and that was all I needed.
Had a bit of a singalong and boogie with the guys playing guitars. It was fun. Drove home fairly early because Mr D had to catch a flight at 6am this morning. Fell into bed at midnight happy.
Did some people think me boring because I wasn't drinking? Who the hell knows... I just can't care. I have to always keep a clear eye on my big picture which has me infinitely happier now that I'm not that loose and crazy (boozy) party girl.
What would have been different if I'd been drinking at the party last night? I would have probably had one or two at home before we left. I wouldn't have been driving, maybe Mr D would have offered to drive and stay sober because he was working the next day. Or maybe we would have caught a taxi and that would have cost a bit of extra dosh because the party was up the coast at a surf clubrooms.
At the party I would have had a slightly more crazy/edgy energy and might not have concentrated so well during the conversations I had. I might have gotten a little more sloppy & loud... not terribly because I was usually pretty good at keeping it together in public (it was mostly at home where I really let myself get heavily drunk). I certainly would have sunk at least 4 wines.. maybe more.
I don't think on the outside people would have noticed that much difference. It would have been my internal landscape that would have been radically different.
I would have been that 'old' version of myself that didn't feel so in touch with myself or my fellow humans. I would have been that 'unresolved' version of myself that tried to skim across the surface of emotional or 'deep' stuff. That was ok when I lived it but now that I don't live like that any more I am hugely more grounded and happier.
I would have a hangover today and just feel a bit 'blah'. Maybe I'll be regretting something I said or did. I don't feel like that now.
I'm sitting in bed drinking a mug of green tea, watching Top Chef on tele writing a blog post. Soon I'll get the boys off their screens and we'll walk the dog. Later we might go to see Finding Dory at the movies.
It's a good day to be sober.
Love, Mrs D xxx