Mr D and I went out for an anniversary dinner on Friday night - a DATE NIGHT! That never happens! (we're a bit slack on that front).
When we sat down at the fancy restaurant the waitress bought over two complimentary glasses of champagne (he'd told them it was our anniversary when booking) and while we were so chuffed and touched by their gesture ("oh wow thanks so much!") I was quick to say "sorry but I don't drink alcohol."
There was a bit of shuffling around then, she apologised, I said "he can have both!", we all laughed, he said "no, one's enough!", she took it away.
Five minutes later she came back with a champagne flute filled with a delicious looking concoction with some fresh berries floating in the top and a wee ice cube.. and said "David's made you a mocktail, he calls it Berry Delight" (or something).. and boy was I delighted then! I looked over to where David the barman was watching us and gave him a cherry thumbs up, and he gave me one back with a big smile, and everyone was happy! I sure was.
Mr D and I clinked glasses and the night was off to a great start.
The interesting thing about this whole exchange was that it came with no drama and absolutely ZERO angsty emotions for me. The only emotional response I had was a genuine happiness when I was bought a treaty concoction that I could actually drink. Something fancy made by someone else.
I felt no awkwardness letting on that I didn't drink alcohol - no embarrassment. I had no sadness or 'woe is me' thoughts that I couldn't drink the first glass offered. I didn't care that the champagne wasn't going to be passing by my lips. I just don't touch that stuff any more. I was fine saying nope, that's not for me.
How incredible is this? To get to this place of zero fraught emotions when back at the start OMG it was hell not touching alcohol and having to watch other people drink it. It was hell having to feel like the odd one out. It was hell spending so much time fretting over not being able to imbibe. Basically it was hell being sober.
It's certainly not hell now. Now I just simply push it away with a glorious casual air that feels so comfortable and easy, and utter simple words such as "Not for me thanks!"
Probably better to be simple and casual in my language, rather than say what I really think which is "none of that carcinogenic, brain-numbing, emotion-stifling, ridiculously-expensive, guilt-inducing, stomach-churning, vinegary shit for me thanks!"
I'm not sure that would go down well in many situations! Unless I'm with my fellow sober warriors of course, then we can really speak our truth.
Love, Mrs D xxx