Soberversaries are funny things though.. especially early on I remember building up to them and being weirdly let down when they failed to deliver anything particularly special. There was always that realisation that it's just another sober day in a long line of sober days.. and that celebrations aren't the big (boozy) things that they used to be.
Because lets face it - any celebration in my former life would involve champagne - like somehow adding bubbles to alcohol made it more festive. I suppose bubbles are festive but you know what I mean... celebrations were just another excuse for me to drink more than I usually did.
But as the years have gone by and I've settled into my sober life I've gotten used to more gentle and subtle emotions, and in doing so I've come to enjoy Soberversaries for their authentic nature. They're not artificially forced high points that come from a bottle. They're authentic and meaningful which is far more satisfying ... and I appreciate everything they provide.
They provide me with an opportunity to reflect on how far I've come.
They provide me with an increased appreciation for having left my disconnected boozy lifestyle behind.
They provide me with a day full of quiet pride and joy.
They provide me with a reason to treat myself in little special ways.
They provide me with an excuse to shout my achievement on social media which hopefully helps others.
And they provide me with a new lovely number to claim for my own. And boy do I love watching that number climb.
SIX! What a mighty fine number of sober years that is. I love how it keeps climbing. I can't wait to get to 10, 15.. even 20 years!!!!!! I love being in long-term recovery. It's the gift that keeps on giving.
Not saying it's fun and easy all the time - no way. But being sober is incredibly rewarding precisely because it's hard bloody work a lot of the time.
And we all know hard work never killed anybody and I'm certainly up for the challenge of life in the raw every single day.
Love, Mrs D xxx
Congratulations on your accomplishment! Your site is the very first site I joined after I made the decision to get sober, 25 months ago today. :) You are an inspiration!
ReplyDeleteThis was to use Oprah's word, an 'Aha' moment - your mention that sobriety is so rewarding because it is hard work. It can be so difficult and lonely and pointless (as life can feel like), and then the dividends pay off or a night where you would be drinking passes and you feel bloody fantastic the next day or your skin looks so damn good, someone thinks you are 16 years younger than you are, happened a few days ago. Mrs. D, you remain a great lighthouse to many. Thank-you!! Hats off to you, huuge congratulations!! x
ReplyDeleteYay!! I'm so happy for you!!
ReplyDeleteBig congratulations!! Everything you write is true for me, too!!
xoxo
Wendy
Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteYou are an amazing force for good!
"They're not artificially forced high points that come from a bottle. They're authentic and meaningful which is far more satisfying ... and I appreciate everything they provide."
ReplyDeleteYES!!!! I love this too - celebrating without drinking in a culture that associates booze with every social situation under the sun (even YOGA classes!) feels like such a radical thing to do. Celebrating BECAUSE you don't indulge in this anymore is even better!
Congrats! I'm starting day one today. I just finished your book and it inspired me try again.I hope I can do it this time
ReplyDeleteHi this is a beautiful post.its brave and it makes me cry. I'm day one again. It's people like you that give me hope. Keep going. One day for sure everything will change for the better
DeleteHey Comfort girl. Sept. 5 is my try again day. This time for me it's not I want to get sober (although I do), but more importantly that I HAVE to get sober. Hang in there and there's a wealth of support online in these communities and tons of great books out there too. Respond back if you ever need to drop a line :) I'm going through this too!
ReplyDeleteYay! I'm starting day one on Tuesday. I have an assessment with a & d Monday and expect to start detox tue. Unfortunately I need Valium to safely stop.
ReplyDeleteDear, Dear Mrs. D...
ReplyDeleteI found your book on the desperate evening I was letting myself realize I needed to stop drinking. I had a vodka tonic in my hand as I read and cried and found your words totally relatable, honest and resonating the truth that I was facing. I too, am (was?) a "boozy" housewife. I am nearing 40 (in November) and I am on day 4 sober. Reading your book, I know it won't always be easy...far from it, but I realize that not drinking is the one thing I have total control over. I can win at that every day I choose not to drink. So what if lousy luck or lack of ambition have kept me from lots of dreams and goals and alcohol was always there to comfort? It had stopped working. I hope you know how your bravery in putting this out into the world has helped those of us who are loner types or who cannot get out to meetings because we care-take full time (24 hrs., really) with zero help as spouse has 21st century work schedule (24 hrs.) also. I feel I have the tools literally at my fingertips to make this sober life a reality. Thank you!!