Friday, February 2, 2018

A new parenting phase..

There are many times that I feel supremely grateful to be sober, but none more so than this week.

Our eldest boy has just started high school. So it has been a week of tension and stress (him) and emotion and busyness (me). I've been helping organise his stationery and get his uniform together, I've sat through welcome ceremonies and deciphered timetables. It all feels quite new and exciting for all of us and I'm so proud of our boy. But boy he can be grumpy when he's tired and under pressure!

He hates getting up early in the morning so rising to be out the door by 7.30am is a shock to the system. He's been going to his new school for 3 days but today is the first day that all of the school year groups are in attendance (all those much bigger boys!) so I got up early to make some muffins (because I'm a domestic goddess ha ha).

6.45am and I was pottering around the kitchen with the dog. The sun was rising over the hills out our kitchen window and my mug of peppermint tea was delicious. I felt so grateful to be hangover free and clear-headed. I felt so grateful to have my feet fully on the ground as my son enters this new phase of his life. It was a lovely peaceful time.

Unfortunately the peace was soon shattered. I was informed that the PE gear needed to be washed so quickly did it by hand and shoved it in the dryer. Unfortunately this meant that it was still damp when it was time to go.. so despite my motherly brilliance with the muffins ultimately I was just the biggest annoying pain in the arse ever and son left the house grumpy.

Sigh.

I think parenting teenagers is going to be hard work. A huge exercise in staying calm, taking shit but not too much and organising and sorting but not too much (or else how are they going to learn? He should have given me his stinky PE gear last night!).

But I'm up for it, and so grateful that I'm entering these years as a sober woman, not a boozy disconnected lush. I know it's going to be a rollercoaster and I'm going to handle things badly at times and have motherly guilt and regret. But that's ok too. I'm sober, not perfect. And that's perfectly ok.

But right now.. having waved my grumpy boy off ("a wet PE top is better than a stinky one!"), and written this post, I think I'm going to crawl back into bed with a book. Self care right there. I deserve it.

Love, Mrs D xxx

8 comments:

  1. Time for the boy to start doing his own laundry. Mine started at age 12 and it is the best!

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  2. I decided to let my boy "go" when he went to high school. I never visited the school (except for required parent visits); I sent money for events instead of volunteering. I have a strong personality, and I wanted my son to develop his own personality, his own "world" separate from home. Of course, I encouraged him to join up, and I advised him on respectful and responsible behavior, but I backed off a lot. I think of high school as a mini-world where the child can grow into himself and practice at life before leaving the nest. Oh, and he did his own laundry too! I LOVE this age, by the way. I switched up my career so I could work with teens, once I became an empty nester. Enjoy, enjoy enjoy!

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  3. Have recently started reading your book and just want to say thank you. I also have a teenage son and it's lovely to hear that others are out there doing their best every day. I know I'm discovering you at the beginning of your journey in your book (and mine), but it's lovely to thank you in real time and in person. Xxx

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  4. Wet is definitely better than stinky for sure. I remember my teenage step-daughter telling me she had shared lunch tomorrow at 7pm the night before. Thank goodness for frozen sausage rolls.

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  5. Oh Mrs. D...wait until puberty!!!! Yikes!!! Just remember, our boys always come back to their moms!!!! At least I hope so!!! Good luck in HS to your son!

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  6. Hello, I'm almost finished your book and this is my Day 31. I started 'Dry January' late so this is my final day....or is it. I'm flying out to Spain for a few days tomorrow and my head is all over the place. Do I continue not to drink? Do I drink because my month is up? Do I drink because I'm on holiday...I have no idea as I'm still at the stage of taking one day at a time. Any advice would be more than appreciated, thank-you.

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  7. Hi Mrs D, I’ve been sober for two years and a friend who is taking the steps to get sober has given me your book to read, I love it it’s so honest and has reminded me we’re not alone and what it was like in those early days!! Our son has just started High School this year too, and I am so glad I’m starting these years with him sober!! Thanks so much for the inspiration!! :) xx

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  8. Love you Mrs. D <3 and yes, a wet shirt is MUCH better than a stinky one. You're a good mom :)

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