Monday, February 19, 2018

Itchy and scratchy

I'm feeling a bit itchy and scratchy at the moment. Restless and bored. I need something new in my life. A new job. A new project. A new something-a-rather. I have no idea what. I'm a bit stuck and bored of my work and stuff. It's not the end of the world but I need some change, I'm aware of that.

I'm scratching around at the edges looking for new opportunities, not hustling like a mad woman but poking my nose in a few places. I'd love to be in the right place doing something stimulating and engaging, interacting with cool people, feeling valued and busy. That's what I'd like.

But I'd also like to be very available at home to parent my sons. So I need to find a balance. Hopefully something right will come along. Maybe it will take a wee while and I just have to be patient in the meantime and enjoy what I do have. Count my blessings.

* Good health
* Happy family
* Some work that is rewarding (but not enough)
* A robust sobriety

And it is that last point that will see me right most of all. Because I am sober and 100% present in my life and grounded in the truth I won't stagnate and get bitter or too miserable. I'll stay alert to my circumstance and slowly work to change things around.

Sobriety means never staying stuck. It's impossible to avoid anything in sobriety. That's what makes it so hard sometimes! But ultimately so great because you tend to work to fix things rather than leave them be for months and years.

So I'll just try to sit in my truth, push out at the edges to try find something new, and enjoy what I do have going on the meantime.

On another note we went to a wedding last weekend and a brilliant time. Lots of chatting and feeling the love but most of all DANCING! I danced for hours and hours to a brilliant guitarist that had the whole party on the dance floor. I don't know how one man and his guitar managed to sound like a fantastic DJ and live band at the same time but he did! So great.

I didn't spend the evening wishing I was boozing like most others were at the event. I am so happy in my sober skin and extremely grateful to be living a life far removed from the boozy, disconnected one I was over six years ago.

I don't miss the sloppy, drunk, emotionally stunted version of myself at all.

Love, Mrs D xxx

P.S. This is a photo montage I made of the event for my Facebook page.


  1. Gosh Lotta, weight loss?! You look great! Are you still sugar free? Would love an update.

  2. You look amazing!!! JM : )

  3. If I could send you flowers I would, to thank you for your first book.Today is day four without my daily bottle of wine. Keep inspiring Mrs. D!

  4. Came across your website. Then read your book. Now day 16 enjoying living without wine. You have been such a help and inspiration. Thank you

  5. I like you acknowledging that your current work is not rewarding enough. I experienced relapse after relapse until I found 'work with purpose'. Knowing that I'm doing more than just making money is important to me and part of healthy recovery.